Who are the Jones' Anyway?

I was at the Exton Mall the other day next to two mom's who were drinking coffee. 
I wasn't paying much attention, (except that I wished I had Starbucks), until one of them started
talking rather loud, and began to rant on and on about "Keeping up with Jones' ". 
She talked about her things, and then some other women she knows things, and how hard it is....
They sat going on and on, (I left a few times), about society, and all the demands of life, especially
when you are raising a family...
Which got me thinking, now that I'm a "blogger"!!  lol
I wonder how many people we know like this?  Women (or men) wanting or trying to be this unattainable picture of perfection.  A member of the Jones Fam.
I've talked about the perfect mom before but do any of you know the people like this woman?
I wanted to tell this girl, stop the act.  Stop the worry-it's gotta be exhausting.
The constant looking around, wondering if anyone is judging you. 
Miscroscoping every move you make.  Thinking others have it so much easier.
Most people are just like you I'm sure-
Good years, bad weeks, sometimes falling upon harder times.
Who are the Jones' ? Those dang Jones'!
The mom and dad with 2.5 kids, white picket fence, cute dog, and a paycheck that handles
everything coming their way?
The couple that looks great every time you see them?  Leave It To Beaver times one hundred?
Those that live without a care in the world which makes people like us, who stress about a noise
coming from the engine in our mini van because it will take the money you need to repair you roof,
seem unusual.
Not a care?  Or does it just seem that way?
I saw on a morning show last week that 70% of the U S is living paycheck to paycheck.
That means that 70% of the people you see driving those awesome cars, living in those huge homes
and wearing the clothes you could dream of putting on, CANNOT AFFORD IT.
Well, maybe they can, but it hurts.
Yet, no matter what we hear or believe, even how we view people like that, we want so badly to
look like it.
No one would dare brag about getting a final notice for water. 
Or that their cell phone company gave them a payment arrangement for the third month in a row.
Why the gray streak in their hair hasn't been touched up or why their kids don't go to private school anymore.
It may BE more normal than not, but even those that have been there, (or are now), would
probably make a face like they had never heard such a think-
WOW, THAT MUST SUCK, I'M SO SORRY.
We, as human beings, in 2011, have to cut the crap.
In BREAKING DOWN OF US INCOME, it states that the average median household income is
$46,326.00,  that equals out to be $3215 and some change, a month, take home.
I never knew it could go so far--------hmmmmm.
The best thing ever would be a TAKE YOUR CREDIT FOR THE DAY, day.
A day when every bank, lender, or family member, took from everyone what was still owed on,
and you haven't paid outright for.
Would that not be great for those that feel "less lucky"?
Can you imagine the type of cars that would be driving alone on the road?  What people would be wearing or what jewelry or clothing they would still have available?
Endless amounts of people, walking the streets in sweats from four yrs ago, and only a handful
of Gucci bags would be on arms around the country.
My kids would finally have proof that the people "shopping" all the time, aren't always rich.
A few years ago we gave up our plastic.  Since then, we explain that when we are out of money,
we are out of things to do. 
It isn't always easy, trying to explain why we seem to be the only ones  EVERY SINGLE FRIDAY AND SATURDAY not at dinner, or the movies.
It's been a lesson.  And although we balance the "things we do" with "homemade fun", it's a hard concept to teach.  That we PAY for things as we go.  Great lesson for my daughter that will be leaving for college this summer.
We lost big in the real estate market a few years back, along with part of our
ego and 75% of our dignity.
The awesome thing about your dignity though, for those that may not know, is when it takes a dip,
your humility takes an elevator rise to the top.
It goes straight to the driver's seat, and takes you places you never would have gone without loss.
Four year ago, we lived in a seven bedroom, 3864 sf home, with (almost) perfect credit.
We had five properties and a savings account. 
Although we always sacrificed having a big family, it had paid off.
We didn't go crazy taking trips or buying stuff-we will forever be in a budget-mode.
So, besides building our new house, most of any profits through those years, we tended to roll into
our next investment.
It was more lax though, and that was nice.
Our plan was to have a property for each child at retirement since we are self employed. 
We were almost there, but God had a different plan.
Business went "south" in the south.  lol
So after much discussion, we packed up the family and moved back North.
It was a very hard time, wondering why these companies with our good-standings, wouldn't work with us.
We juggled this for two years, hoping and praying that something would sell, or someone would come along...but it just wasn't meant to be.
The stories you hear about the banks are true.  It was disturbing.
There were a few things we could have even taken to court if we wanted to continue in that bubble.
We actually paid one company to modify a loan that was changed back in 30 days to an even higher amount.
We saw some bad stuff,  but the banks aren't the ones that have to sleep at night.  We do.
Very hard.
In the end, we sold a few and lost a few.  And the credit that took fifteen years to build, didn't
take long to get hit.
Hit like a hurricane in the middle of....well, hurricane season.
In a world like today, if you have stayed in the game, be thankful.
But if you haven't, please know, it will all be okay.
We are here, still breathing, still happy.
And financially, although there is nothing BIG monetarily (anymore) for our future, that has plenty of time
to change.  And oh well if it doesn't. 
Our family is larger than life, we will still HAVE a beautiful future.
We don't feel special.  Many people went through what we did, but you need to
keep your head in the game....learn some lessons-even if it was simply, "the times".
Like I said, we haven't used a card (except debit), no car payments, and we are re-building
our credit, thankful that we are still young enough to be able.
We are all here, a life planned for each of us.  Go with it..know it is for a purpose.
At the end of the day, don't be the woman thinking about the Jones'.
When you shut your door at night, what is between those walls is the most important thing.
Teach you kids about "real life".  Tell them how great it  is to dream and to not be scared to take
the chance.  If you fall, you tried, and you'll be standing stronger because of it.
But most of all, the best lessons are those after hardships.
Many people think obstacles occur to throw you off track.  Not at all. 
The twists and turns of fate will make your ride here more meaningful. 
And nothing will build your character more.
We showed our kids a lot about life during those years.  Yes, it was difficult and embarrassing at times.
But I'm a firm believer that when things aren't going your way, it is a good thing for kids to see.
Look what happened when stuff fell apart; Mom and Dad talked a lot about plans, kept
holding hands and we survived.
We may not have been thrilled while it was happening, but it happened.  And business is great now.
Why not talk about it?  It is what it is. 
Maybe your story isn't financial, maybe it's an addiction or other struggle.
Tell someone.  It may just make them feel better about their life, to not feel alone about things.
Remember, it's easy to be thankful when all is well-
Next time you see who you think are the Jones', remind yourself it just may not be what it seems.
And love your life, the way it is, no matter what it is, because of what you have today.
Hugs!