Seriously?

Seriously, did I just freaking order a cap and gown?
Did I really just write a checkmark next to those words and total an amount?
Was I sitting next to an "almost woman", who was in second grade, literally, three years ago??
I cannot take it.
I'm sure this won't be my last rant and whine on the topic, I can't help it. 
And although I'm at the top of the list for emotional, it will probably NEVER become easier, starting
this process of "lasts"....
And added to it, I've never done it before, so it's crazy!
As I sealed the envelope I thought oh my.  Here it is....over half way through senior year,
and I am denying that it is going like the speed of light.
I've wanted it to trickle by so I could embrace SLOWLY, these months...
Her still hanging out and eating with us. 
The Saturdays she wants to rent a movie in the afternoon or just run to Wawa with me to get a
French Vanilla.
But it's not going very slow----it's past the send your baby photos for the yearbook, and now this. 
The screaming at the top of my lungs, while she clicked send for each of her college applications, has come and gone.
And running to the mailbox every day, for envelopes that will determine where she will be living (without me)
this coming summer, will be over in the next week or two.
The only thing that has worked, to keep me off needing therapy, is choosing to look at all of
this "newest journey",  is seeing it through her eyes.
And for those that haven't been here yet, it works, a lot.
Just as she has completed her first phase of life, I have completed my second. 
I'm not DONE by any means, but we are getting ready to close the chapter of "creating someone good to put
out into our world." 
And my book has tears on these last few pages.  
Not because I didn't know this day was coming. We all know.
I got as much time as anyone gets, and although it went too fast, and she will always be my baby, I did
every ounce of what I could, with the time I had.
But this is such an exciting time for her (and her friends) and being part of all these moments is so awesome.
These next months to come, (and actually the last few), have been fun and  will only continue to be. 
She and her friends were talking about their Sr Week house and who was going to be there.
We are planning a great graduation party and getting ready to choose which picture to use in her annoucements.
Her girlfriends, and her sweet boyfriend, hang here all the time, I am so blessed.  I love that.
The years we've had don't seem long enough yet to almost be dropped off at college.
But they are, and it's here....and you can cry every day and be a basketcase, or you can embrace it and be thrilled.
I look at her and know she is going to leap into Act 2 of her life with endless possibility.
She has become a beautiful daughter, sister and (just about) friend. 
You can't get your time back, so make the most of the days while you have them.  I'm so glad I did.

 Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!