What More Do You Want From Me?

This is the first chapter in my book, that I am taking my dandy old time writing.
I will try to have it finished by the Spring of 2089!   So look out for it-
Just wanting to share!  :)

"The S on your cape is fading Jen."  My friend told me once. 
Huh?  What?  It is not!  Not for one day!
What are you talking about?  What are you trying to say? 
Why are you looking at my cape anyway? 
The S will NEVER fade!  It won't lose an ounce of color, ever. 
It will shine bright for all to see, forever and ever. 
End of discussion, do you hear me?  That's it.

After all, isn't that perfection?  Isn't that what most of us moms in the world try to be? 
Maybe not 100%, but as dang close to it as possible.  Don't lie.  Supermom with a cape. 
Not just any cape either.  A perfect one, ironed and pressed, blowing beautifully in the wind.
A cape almost as nice as our blown out hair and adorable outfit. 
The one that fits perfectly, I might add, on my rockin Zumba lovin, yoga doing, flat stomached
body of mine.  Um, yea, that's  me.  Ya know.
Did I mention that I walk this bod around an (always) clean house, and my kids are never dirty? 
I know, aren't I amazing?  I am also always organized. 
I could tell you my tricks right now but I will be volunteering at school many days. 
I will call you back though because I don't fall behind on things. 
Nor do I procrastinate, forget about anything, or am outdone.

That is my job.  It's actually the first thing every day on my to-do list.  Not to drop a ball. 
After that comes, don't forget red shirt day at school, or be without a checkbook at the dentist. 
Followed up by noting all sports schedule changes, spelling bees, piano or what I'm doing for dinner. 
My list can be endless, but it is life, every mom's life, and we handle it was grace, every single day.

Okay, stop the insanity.  It's a new day-let's get real and start REAL-ITY. 
And to be real, there is one thing that we all need to REALize.
YOU ARE ONE PERSON. 
ONE PERSON WITH ONE BRAIN.
YOU HAVE TWO HANDS, AND TWENTY DIRECTIONS TO GO.
And as one individual, being realistic, we can only do so much that can only go so far. 
Life is unknown, but we are not.  We are AMAZING.  But not perfect- and there it all begins.

A long time ago, there was a meeting that took place. 
It was headed up by a man who stood up wanting to speak to every woman alive at the time. 
So they gathered. 
This speech lasted hours, speaking of all the unbelievable qualities that this sex was given. 
It used words that had never been used before. 
Describing supernatural things, that they would see us do and things WE would
make happen-within months, days, even minutes. 
It talked extensively about new scientific data on moms, revealing a never-before concept. 
That we were, well, perfection.
From there a huge uproar took place. 
Mothers, because of the pedestal we were placed on, were expected to be exactly that, and so it was. 
We believed it until the day that one woman
finally did the unthinkable.
Although she was unnamed in the report, sources close to her say, she was from our area,
and not granting interviews at this time. 
Details aren't entirely clear, but word is, one morning, (drum roll please), she messed up. 
And then, hold your panties, she brushed herself off, and said,
YA KNOW WHAT?  I'M STILL HERE!
I'M STILL AWESOME. 
AND IT"S ALL STILL OKAY. 
The crowds erupted. 
The scientists then went back to their study. 
They dug deeper into their ancient experiments and soon realized there was a mistake. 
Looking back, the data showed these unspeakable qualities, only came from lab rat moms.
Here, after all this time, it was rodents that didn't mess up, the ones that never tripped and fell. 
All these millions of years, we lived a lie.
The news was joyous.
And men and women alike, gave her a standing ovation, and champagne.

It's time to talk yourself down off your personalized ledge of imperfection. 
Even is super powers existed, if you were truly honest, you would probably be pretty darn proud
of yourself (even without ever using them). 
How you're put together, how others see you, and how many things you have crossed
off your list by six pm?  Come on. 
You are worth far more than you ever give yourself credit for. 
All that we are in charge of making happen, and the volume of greatness and love we hold
in our hearts, every single minute?

We do all we can, with the time we have, and the ability that we hold. 
We do our best and that will
forever be good enough-
Say no to more, say no to guilt, say no to any voice that is telling
you it isn't enough-

Which leads me to the most spoke hourly phrase of my day, and what you need to say,
anytime the amount you do is questioned-
What more do you want from me?   :)

Princess For The Day.

"Can I get an "Oh, YEAAHhhh-"
"It's my birthdayyy, gonna partty, like it's my birthhhdayyy-"
What is better than your birthday?  
A day all your own, where you are it, baby.
It is all about you, the star, which is, come on, one of the best things ever.
(1) my family (2) coffee (3) being all about me.

It only comes once a year, one out of 365 days. 
It takes so long to get here
and is over before you get a chance to pee, twice.
So hello, whatttss up, mine is today.....holla!

Crazy as can be, the feeling of it stays the same, but some weird
things happen through the years, don't they? 
Like things you noticed about "old" people when you were young.
But never thought you'd be there-
Number one- member how shocked you were when your parent, didn't
know for a second, how old they were turning?
When you asked them, and they were caught off guard, and had to
think for a minute...
How insane and unimaginable was that, that someone WOULD NOT
know how old they freaking were. 
But every year, for the past few, I DID have to think about it.
"Well, let's see, I was 36 or wait, maybe I was thinking about that
being next year. 
Okay, I was born in 73 and it's 2009"  So let me minus twenty and add...." Please.  IT'S INSANE.

This wasn't one of those years though...
I awoke to  the sound of my husband's voice, "Let me look at you Jenny,
let me see what 38 looks like."
Whateverrr...don't bring me into your swamps of 41...
I still have quite a few years to be an senior citizen like you Roman.  lol
So, here I am, old or not, enjoying the first hours of my
"Princess of the Day" and lovin' it.

The doorbell rang this morning, and Lexi's boyfriend and his little
brother came in, soaking wet from the rain, with a dozen Dunkin Donuts. 
How sweet was that? 
Everyone so far has woken up in a good mood, and only one shift
left of kids to get on the bus before I decide what to do as the star.
I AM NOT CLEANING that's for sure, because in fact, I am the princess.
(In case you forgot).
Oh, it will be time to check my Facebook soon. 
The internet" house of love", where no
matter how many friends you have on there, you cannot NOT be
overwhelmed by the kindness,
(or just boredom on their part so they wrote to you), that
you are shown, as you turn a year older.
By 7 am, I already had almost 30 messages-thank you friends, thank you.
I will, yes I will, enjoy celebrating-right after I sweep up the 100
cheerios on the floor. :)

Another thing that's different?
How far you come from your younger years, with parties at each age or
needing to whip up the town?
Please, no surprises now...I'll be asleep by ten and everyone
will go home.
Now, I just want to chill with people I love, or maybe go to dinner
and a movie with the hubby, every so often.

But the biggest change has got to be, just wanting simplicity on our "special" day.
"Hey, can you guys not argue at all today, as my present?" 
"Don't spend money, just make me a massage coupon." 
"How about everybody just does their chores without needing to be reminded?"
Like you could ever, at nine years old, imagine a great birthday would be everyone in your family getting along, making hot chocolate and playing PAYDAY.
How life has changed. 

We aren't going anywhere this year. 
Roman told me he and the kids, wanted to pick up all my favorite
foods later today and grill on the deck.
(It's raining but supposed to be 55, so we are gonna be so cozy!)
I thought it sounded amazing. 
A plan without my input...the best thing ever. 
And I listened last night, as he and the little ones made me
a cake.
It sounded like it was going great until someone yelled that it was
exploding in the oven.
I snuck in and peeked, and it looked like the batter has a right arm hanging off the side.
Only my cake, would look like a mama with a little baby connected to it.

One more year down, and so many blessings-
With each passing of twelve months, more and more takes place.
Just as my Barbie Mansion amazed me at eight, I never would
have imagined my life would amaze me, ten fold, at thirty eight.
Birthdays definitely change through the years, but when you really think
about it, it's probably not because our expectations became any smaller.
I think it is simply because, our lives became bigger.

Hugs!
Love,
The Princess :)

In Between Seasons

Hey guys-
I just wanted to say it is so crazy but I have NOTHING to do today.
NOTHING.
Well, not nothing..
I did have a dentist apt and I do have to run to the bank, but you know what I mean.
No deadlines, no, mom, you need to be at _ at _, and not a second late, or the president
will call you, type of trips.
No where to go, no one to drive, or drop off, or pick up.
No one has sports, or work. 
Cheerleading has concluded, wrestling season for High School and the little guys, ended Saturday at 1:56, when we jumped in the van.
It always feels really weird.
I am the busy body lover, but every so often, especially in the evenings, its nice to
just chill with everybody.
Having said that, too much of it makes me figity, almost kind of dizzy
(which doesnt make sense, but
what do you want from me?)
I like to "jet set" around in my 15 passenger van...ya know, being cool.
What is next?  Now where?  Oh, I forgot about those things----
What can I make happen?  How can I be proactive and amazing...lol
But around this time every year, and then in summer, there is a lull in insanity-
Usually a wk, maybe two, that sits between these two sports seasons-and I take full advantage of enjoying it!
What should I do? 
Maybe shoot over to Old Navy and look at all their adorable
spring baby clothes? 
Drive home without my cell ringing, and make a nice relaxing dinner? 
Have my beer
at 5:01?  Holla!
I'll let you know, (not that you really care, but I tend to flatter myself when excited)...
Have a great day everybody!
Hugs!

OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!  MY SON IS AT SCHOOL AND WANTS TO KNOW IF HE CAN STAY AFTER AND LIFT!!!!!!!  And so is life........lol

THE BEST YOUTUBE VIDEO

Once again, if you know me, I have posted this YOU TUBE video (or you've probably even watched
it yourself).
It is the most beautiful video-and shows what our world can scare you into being-or what you
can just chose to do, out of belief of what you WANT it to be :)
Enjoy :)
Hugs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Exercising? Ugh.

I need to do it.
I need to motivate myself to do it, every day.
I need to wake up knowing it is the best thing for my energy level.
I need to wake up knowing it is the best thing for my body.
I need to greet it, at the same time in the morning, so that it becomes part of my schedule.
I need it to even THINK about getting in a bathing suit this summer.
I need to remember without it, the stretched skin that with each child, becomes an even bigger pile,
hanging here, will never deflate.
I need to remind myself that I am almost 38 and it's not going to disappear on it's own anymore.
I need to do this, so that my pants don't look like I have a muffin baking in the top part of them.
I need to WANT to do this!!!!!!
So why don't I????
Wish me luck!!!
Hugs :)

Got A Teen?

Okay.  Moodiness is surrounding me. 
There is no escaping it.  No one is helping to ease it. 
It has invaded this house, and probably will not exit for the next eighteen years.
The rolling of eyes, the words that no matter what size, are exaggerated,
"But Moooooooommmmmmmm."
Even the way they walk in and out of the room you are in, like the weight of the world
has attached itself to their butts, and won't let go.
I know I was one, but forget how my parents reacted to all these antics of mine.
Maybe it's MY personality as a mom.
I mean, I tend to be sarcastic, and absolutely harassable.
So, (since my parents were mature), maybe I don't recall the comments that I make, having been said.
I'm sorry, it takes a lot, (and I mean a lot), of self control,  to not react and say, exactly how you
feel they are acting.  In fact, it takes a lot of control to not laugh in their face sometimes.
There are moments, that they are being totally serious, and I have just busted out hysterical. 
You cannot use every ounce of your might, and hold it in....it just HAS to be a joke--the things they are describing.
Girls more than boys of course, with that example, but the insanity in totally different ways.
Anyone with sons or daughters, within this age bracket, is feelin me right now.
Their daily dose, sometimes more than others, depending on how lucky you are, is probably a little
gift from God.
It's helping ease your transition from addicted, to letting go. 
His little creative concoction, that he gives each hormonally imbalanced teen, to make it a tad easier to
help untie the apron strings, a little at a time.
They can drive you so insane, that I have heard of parents, willing to let them leave for college at 15 1/2.
But so, is the circle of life.
Okay, so in this house we have three right now. 
Three, out of whack, could snap at any second, kids, and they are all completely differently insane.
Our oldest Lexi, was never drama crazy. 
Don't know if we lucked out with who she hung out with, but she is so much (and always has been)
like her father, who doesn't play that game, so I think it wouldn't have been her, no matter what. 
She didnt have it in Ga, and we moved back to Pa her sophmore year, and she doesn't have it here.
She never needed to have the HOLLISTER clothing, always wanted to put stuff into her own style. 
So nothing with that dept either.  She's always been where she says, calls when she's not coming home. 
We've always called Lexi, a great, "pave the way and get us into this parenthood journey", kid.   
Having said that, she tends to have issues in the "non motivated" category. 
And has a room that a pig sty would win a blue ribbon before. 
The hormones tend to show, with her when she is "sooo annoyyyyyyed."
which can be all day or simply, ten minutes.
Her boyfriend hears it every time he walks by, or sits down.  
We are all annoying-and you probably would be to her, too. 
You will also (again, like her dad) lose her, if you ramble on with a lecture or instructions-just tell
her what you need her to do and be done.
She loves her siblings and with how annoying everyone is, she isn't too annoyed by them very often.
Good big sis and very proud of all of them-
She and her friends tell me what's goin on and we laugh a lot.  She is good about
letting me in her life-
I love that.  But again, wear a hard hat when entering her room.
Now we move onto Gabe.  Here we have our first example of a boy. 
My oldest son, so we are learning the difference between boys and girls...very strange-
The strangest to me, would fall upon being a woman...and not understanding, for a second, how
there cannot be ANY detail, whatsoever, to ANYTHING that is said. 
Like most men, he leaves me, (and any female) wondering about any "main ingredient" to a story.
He can make some massive statement, that leaves your chin on the ground, wondering what, or
how the heck?  And immediately, leave the room....
I follow, needing to know more, and I become the annoying one. 
"Mommmm, I don't knowwww....why do you need to know everyyyytthinngggg...."
The drama with boys is so opposite from the girls---your ears aren't bleeding from stories but more dehydrated, if you will. 
There isn't enough to even formulate a story in your mind.  It's just not right.  It's not normal.
Gabe is very open, but quiet.  He is such a good boy when it comes to letting you still hug him, or show emotion. 
Not for long, but I am allowed a few seconds here and there, which I know is hard, but he's good about.
He allows me to still be his mom that way....for me.
I would say his annoyance, (which turns into mine), is his position in the family.
Having so many siblings is great sometimes, and not so great others. 
And Gabe would definitely rank #1, in being the easiest annoyed by the little guys. 
He likes organization, things in their place, and little noise.  And that doesn't come along often around here.
Things tend to get loud when he's in the room because they don't listen to him when he gets mad. 
And the fire is fueled.  They run by, his leg gets stuck out, people trip into a pile. 
He says things to egg them on....they start to cry....the oldest brother job position. 
Then I have to be referee so I'm annoyed.  He's also a mumbler...I cannot understand half of what he says, so I get annoyed.  There already isn't enough TO be said, so let me hear you!
But every so often, I see him teaching wrestling moves to his brothers in the basement or picking up the baby
and just playing with her...and its heartwarming....
I know it's in-there, it's just being a teenager.
Our last and final contestant, is Reilly...our thirteen year old daughter.
The heavens parted with Ry was born.  Seriously.  She has always been a very in touch little girl,
and a born "mama". 
She looooovessss kids, loves organizing, and makes everything a big deal when it happens, like it's happening to her. 
She will tell you how she feels about things, and would really do anything for anyone. 
There have been numerous times, we are at a sporting event, and come home to the entire house clean. 
She loves to do things for people, and has always said she actually LIKES it.  God bless her.
Having said that, just as she loves to express her feelings to you-
oh my, does she ever, about everything else under God's green earth.
A book is written, on a daily basis, with every single tiny detail, of every word spoken, and is
then put into the LIBRARY OF REILLY, to re-read to us again, later.
It takes at least twenty minutes for that girl to tell you the beginning of what happened today in homeroom, because it takes that long to describe (simply) the setting, and what everyone was wearing...
Like that has any relevance in why the teacher gave his Science test,  two days early.
Then you have to understand how big of a deal everything that happens truly is. 
I mean, life threatening.  And she is serious. 
Her face gets this weird look and the arms move in every direction, the voice shakes,
and then gets really quiet....
"No, mom, you just, oh my gosh, you don't even understand, it's just, oh my gosh, mom...totally insane,....and we were all like, totallllyyy freaking out...I'm not even kidding." 
Roman and I just look at each other. 
So here we have the "clean freak, sweet emotion" example, but drama out the ears, until the cows
come home.
There is no EASY teen people....and not enough space here to list the daily occurrences or what
they're all about. 
I think the best to remember is that they are all divided.  
Made up of bits and pieces of the things that will drive you nuts for a while-in all different ways. 
Along with a few dibs of their sweetness, you remember loving for the first twelve years, so much.
In fact, that's the part of this time,, that is kind of funny to watch. 
Just as the personalities vary, so do the qualities, that are "challenging" you to stay sane.
The important part of it, is that they stay respectful and you stay encouraging. 
I love that each of them still seeks me out- to confide in me, and talk to me about things that are going on.
I had that with my mom, and it was so important for me to have with my kids.
You don't always have to have your head on straight, you're only human.
They will tempt you sometimes to pack their
bags and drop them at the train station with a one way ticket. 
But stay true to what you want them to take from you and this time in life.
Words hurt-
Don't get too caught up in it....they don't mean to be unbalanced loonitics.
Underneath this mask of disguise, is still your little boy or girl...and they'll be back....I promise.
We just have to keep praying ,we make it til then, and we will....:)
Hugs!

Flip a Coin.

Just flip a freakin' quarter-
If your kids are sick-Sinus', horrible headache, ear infection, or stomach pains-
Throw one in the air-
Go to your wallet and yell out heads or tails, to tell you if you should keep them home.
You cannot win!
First of all, you can't win with the right or wrong...
You can let them go to school and feel great, and you're in the clear.
You can keep them home and they run around after the first hour on the couch, like it's gym class.
You can let them stay, and their puking within fifteen minutes of when they'd be on the bus.
Or you can let them go, and get a call from the nurse by nine a.m.
Two ways of right and two ways you were wrong-
And you know, even if you are a great fortune teller, you can't win anyway.
The school has this two sided approach to whatever your choose to do-I love them dearly, but it's true.
If the kids are sick and they're home, there's a letter generated that they are missing school
and you need to know that this can become an issue.
If you send them, and they call you, and they then tell you this (is also) an issue. 
You shouldn't have sent them.
So, my morning lesson?  Flip a quarter, dime, nickel, or penny.
If you live near Atlantic City, go to the roulette table.
The odds there are just like predicting the flu, a gamble.
Have a good one, off to make some jello for my patients :)
Hugs !