Outside Your Comfort Zone

So I'm nervous, but excited. 
Overwhelmed with worry and the unknown.
But know I will have fun.
Having to let go of my "life's control" but knowing it will be good for me to do so.
I am going to England. 
This Friday-
Yes, I said ENGLAND. 
And yes, my stomach has had butterflies since the day my dad called me to go.

My dad, met his "lady friend" a few years ago on the Internet. 
They met playing some game, and connected right away with the common
ground of losing a child at the same young age.
Gillian's story, so similar, had added grief, losing her only other child, a son, and then
her husband.  Unbelievable.
They would go on to talk and talk until they met on "holiday" and within months, had
started a back and forth lifestyle.
Gill comes here, every few months for six weeks at a time, and has brought a lot of
love to the family...
Recently, a new struggle, advanced cancer, to one of the most wonderfully courageous
women this world has seen.
And with the same grace and bravery as she had before, she holds her head up now, just
the same.

So with that, I instantly become the mommy-jeckel and hyde.
I am thrilled to spend some special time with her,
but having a slight struggle with um, well, going. :) 
But as with anything, it always seems to be hard to leave your "norm",  so I am putting
on my big girl bra AND panties, and diving in.

I don't do well leaving...not the older ones, who frankly could probably
use the break from me, but from the little ones?  Very tough...I get anxious...
I start worrying.
I have a comfort zone-and it's here...changing things up is not comfortable.  I need to be
surrounded by the craziness-it's who I am.

I am bringing Lily.  She's so little and will totally brighten the mood.
It'll give Gillian a kid fix (all of them love and miss
her so) and help me to not be AS anxious.
 
So as the day seems fast approaching, I try and get organzied.
I'm catching up with the endless laundry nightmare, paying all the bills,
highlighting the calendar, and writing notes to each teacher of advanced
apology, in case no one matches for next six days in school.
And Roman?  His job is to put me at ease.

God bless the man, seriously. 
I am a lunatic, when it comes to some things-
And while, through the years, he has become much more sensitive then he
started out, he is still a man. 
And for being one of those, he is pretty good, most of the time, at calming me down.

One of them, being I need to go. 
Anyone can say that, but the truth comes out in how you try and make your plan work.
Neither of us really do away without the other or the family-so since this was a last minute idea,
we scrambled how it would work, with everyone always being all over the place.
But we both knew we wanted to find a way.
Can you guys make it without me??
He convinced me the world would not end.
And from there, how great it will be for me to go hang with Gill, my dad, Lily and my sister.
An adventure, that will be difficult to start, but rewarding, and fun, and maybe never again to happen.

Second, not to worry.
I got this, he said...and we both laughed but he kept repeating it. 
"We will have a great time!"
MAWA wrestling tourny, (he and Gabe are doing it-), and he will bring all the kids to
watch TEAM HALE compete.
They'll surely have no routine, and just fly by the seat of their pants every day....
No brainer, could have called that one. lol
He's gonna take Mason to see a karate school, and they're gonna go on hikes back
in the woods, all of them.  Bonfires-
With no plan whatsoever-
Dream -life for children: forts, ice cream, dirty faces w/no washcloths coming at them....

But most of all, my four year old-
I know it will bring Gill smiles but for myself, I would have nervous times 100, if I were leaving
all these babies and a nine month old...she's too young !!!
Having said that, I also have Reese, who is with me all day, how was this gonna work? 
If I could have brought her, I would of, but she's too old to qualify for lap baby :(
Believe me, I tried.
But this too, was actually put to rest before I even started to vent with concern.

Ro has a sweet and completely different relationship with all of our kids-
Each one, with different personality, every parent knows, brings a whole different
relationship to you and that specific one..
And for some reason, since Reese was veryyyy little, Roman and she have been like Velcro.
It is hysterical, (and adorable) to watch them.
When he gets home she yells the loudest and every single night, they get out the cookie sheets
and whip the whole family up cookies.
Theres just this crazy little banter they do-too funny.

As soon as we discussed the trip, one of the first things Roman talked about was not
working that week.
He said  that he planned on doing paper work, ordering
and dropping by the job sites....
He wasn't going to work the "normal" labor so he could have "daddy time". 
My heart melted.  I didn't say it.
He did.
I'll bring Reese to Home Depot, and we'll stop for Ice Cream, then we'll go home and
do our thing, I cracked up.
His mom even offered to come help-but he told her, they had a daddy plan-
He was excited to have these days with them alone....

Right hand man, yes, annoying, enough times that I can list on college ruled paper, sure.
But such a good partner with this kind of thing-
Not one that just does what he needs to do as a man, husband, father...
But one that goes that step that we women are always so happy to see-
A man that wants to do things-one that loves to do them.
One that never needs to be asked to, because its already desired-

Yes, my tummy is gonna be in knots while I take off, land, and get where I'm going...
But if I am to step out of my comfort level, I am so thankful to have a safety net, at home,
while I'm away.

Think of my Friday at 7:33 pm, as I depart on this unknown "journey" of mine-
Looking forward to hugging Gill, and getting some English coffee :)
And then skyping my kids, seeing the falling down house in the background, and
how things go with Daddy in charge.

Have you stepped outside your comfort zone?  (this is my first time)
It's probably good for us, and the others, in our lives...
Maybe they'll see how much we really do on a regular basis?  Maybe not (uhoh)...
And maybe, it's good for your "right hand" person-
To take the wheel and steer for a few days.
Hopefully they'll see what a great team you make and how much that good driving of
yours does for the family
If not, (sry about that), you'll still have one thing-
Some freaking great stories to hear, from your kids, when you get back, for days to come....
.
Wish me luck :)
Hugs!