Okay, so anyone that knows me knows I RARELY get riled up and go on defense.
Although I love sharing our passion for family, I, in no way, just as anything else, think
it's the road for everyone.
I am a believer, just as the occupation you choose, you create the family you desire.
Having said that, as I do not preach to you to follow my lead, I do get a little spunky when I
feel disrespected.
With age, you do get confident, but I came across an OUTRAGEOUS article that was just too much!
Wish I had it here, but I will share my letter back to the author.
Yes, I replied!
He made my "Target brand" panties, bunch up.... a lot.
Mr Woodgate,
I was online this morning reading through some fascinating articles on large families.
I love searching for people like me, that have gone this route, and share their outlooks, advice, etc
on a similar lifestyle.
It was there that I came across your article Fruitful Extinction, and although I didn't read any others
from you, it was extremely upsetting to me.
I cannot believe, with how things are out there-in a world where so many are stressed to the max,
on depression medication, or searching for the meaning of life, a large family is a unbelievable concern
to you, and as you put it, the country.
The idea of taxing as punishment, the idea that we will run out of resources due to them
having a fourth, or fifth child? You have got to be kidding.
If you are lecturing on the men and women that are many times in discussion, who populate
and continuously use government funding to "survive", that is a single issue up for debate.
Of course most of the US would concur, it is not fair to expect taxpayers to flip the bill for
anything you cannot afford, or provide a decent life for.
(And from how I read it, that IS NOT who you are speaking of entirely because that I see a point on.)
But two people, that simply want to, (and can afford to), surround themselves with (maybe)
more children than the average person, raising them, to be good, productive, members of society?
What then?
In that instance, they will surely give back more than they'll take from the earth,
I can promise you that.
Only today, are we to find families chasing the corporate ladder until ten pm every day,
on their cell phones and laptops at the park, not even making eye
contact with their kids on their "time off".
Then say its "for them", to be able to "provide a good life", ACCEPTABLE.
Only in a world like today, are we to find the OBSESSION with Hollywood-
Their three nannies at home, RAISING their kids, so they can jet around the world
(and still complain), ACCEPTABLE.
Only in a world like today is, (in many families)-status, above everything else in life, yup, ACCEPTABLE.
THESE, sir, are taking away the "quality" from our lives.
Like I said, I didn't read on.
Maybe you did write articles on the unbelievable shift in priority that this country has seen
in recent years.
The fact that somewhere in the last few, family became second notch to "lifestyle".
On lists, hung opon refrigerators across the world, children are next to, and sometimes
sadly, placed underneath, advancement and material things...you cannot deny it.
I'm not saying this has anything to do with how much you may LOVE your family, but the idea of
truly sacrificing, to make it first in your day, is slowly dying.
How can family really come into (any part of ) what you see wrong right now?
No matter the size.
I almost worry about those that understand all of the above, but then need explantion for
why someone could feel that same fulfullment, with children?
You will never find a person pressed for explaining the desire for another new car, but this is
somehow different.
Why is that?
Maybe to us, you're the strange ones.
We don't understand how you wouldn't love it....but we don't say that, because who
really cares?
But how sad that it is so often not understood.
I would be interested in your view on divorce.
Is that okay to do 3, 4 ,5 times?
Because that has too, become acceptable.
But kids, well, "they use too much of our oxygen".
And one more thing-
Maybe you did, but have you sat down with a few large families?
Because I'd like to address the "baby addiction" part of your "research".
Now here, I would be an expert right?
Can't say I know many moms that would say the feeling that you described of "cozy baby",
goes away once they learn to walk.
I will admit, that newborn feeling is like no other, but watching them grow, loving them,
and seeing in the amazing transformation into adults, is just as rewarding.
I myself, have never met a single woman who gave birth, just for those first few months of infant
holding, but you took the polls.
In closing, the words "go forth and populate" are never going anywhere.
They can never be taken back or revised, so I don't know who you think you are.
God wants this world to have good people.
He wants the love of a baby in homes, and in my humble opinion,
I think with each birth, no matter how many you have been through, it makes
HIS love, that much stronger in your life.
There are many examples of families that exist today, of every size, doing it right, with a few
(or a bunch), and there are some, no matter the size, doing it wrong.
A chapter on HOW DID WE GET HERE?
The crazy messed up world, is not due to parents wanting more kids, it's due to selfishness,
greed and control.
I think even people living under rocks could recognize that one.
An opinion lumped toward one specific kind of family, (or anything for that matter), is amazing
to me.
I have some really cool little guys at this house, part of varsity team sports at school and helping
The Salvation Army.
My kids volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters, and have done things involved with the troops
overseas.
If you were to only see my family at Christmas Eve Service last week, Mr Woodgate,
you may have had, even the smallest glimpse, into "our idea" of family.
The non-judging, busy, yet simple, dream of ours.
One that has humility, to fend off all the Nay-Sayers, that make you feel, for a second here
and there, you should explain your reasons for having them.
One that has compassion, which to me is the one quality that will guarantee success.
And one, where there is promise and love.
You can read me all of your statistics from books you have studied, or charts
and graphs you have drawn up.
You can even tell me what, along with other countries, you, or anyone else thinks my family
should be.
But at the end of the day, when the world is quiet, and you close your door at night,
what is there?
What makes you smile and look at your life?
Only blessings.
Maybe if you had more of an open mind, you'd be a little happier in life.
You sound very judgemental, very angry...that's not good.
Maybe you can take a nice, long, look into the moms and dads, that you
yourself, called "selfish"....
We find it perfectly acceptable to be called Crazy, Insane, Mental...but Selfish?
That is the word?
Wow.
I think even after all your jet setting , bigtime interviews, and knowledge of the "real world",
you really may need to get out more.
I will pray for you,
Jennifer Hale
Hugs!
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