Hard Lessons

I would say "life" throws many a thing at you, that are hard to explain.
Hard enough to explain to yourself, but then you become a mom, and feel the need,
or even desperately WANT, to have explanations....
Especially when it is posed as a question to you, and then wide eyed faces sit waiting, for
your miraculous wisdom to be worded just perfectly.

I remember feeling, and still do, that my mom was the most brilliant woman
that ever walked the earth.
And with that, no matter what was asked to her, the answers I would get left me with no
more questions, it just was....and I understood.
Then you become an adult and realize that so much of life is made up of the same
common components in most of us
Good intentions on your part, massive confusion at times, forgiveness, compassion,
wound up with a great, big bow of, sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.
All we can say, as their moms and dads during the "wondering why" stage, is to look for
a lesson, and to wait patiently for
the truth or reason.

My eighth grade daughter is learning that this week-due to some teenage drama at school.
Someone, told someone else, something else, and that someone, told someone else,
who told her about something she supposidly did..
And most importantly, it was damaging to her character....and that is
not okay with any of us Hales.
She came home and told the whole story-and my heart ached. 
You don't want any negativity surrounding
your kids, and especially when it's a full out lie.
Without saying what the issue at hand was, she was blamed for something that
was done, ON THE WEEK SHE WAS HOME WITH THE STOMACH FLU!
Even more irritating?  Girls are THE WORST!

I sat there trying to make sense of it but when Roman and I talked about it that
night, although visibly annoyed that anyone would say anything at all about his baby girl,
he added the three basic life concepts, like a freaking wall plaque.
YOU CANT CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE SAY,
AND YOU CANT CONTROL WHAT THEY THINK. 
Followed up by,
THIS IS GETTING HER READY FOR THE REAL WORLD.

How sad but how true. 
As we talked (Reilly and me), I tried to listen more than lecture.
It's the worst and I did share remembering all too well my middle school days,
and how certain girls there, were exactly like these-just wanting a story. 
They wanted to have some sort of great thing, exciting to say, with
everyone's attention, if only for a minute.
And at just about any one's expense...almost picking people out of the air,
and many, many times, girls that
people seemed to like.
Not always out of jealousy but to start crap, making at least one negative
thing, to go along with her name.
I'm sure you all even remember the names of these girls, even to this day.

Reilly didn't defend herself during the briefing her friend gave her....just said she
couldn't believe that someone
would say that about her....
And some slight immaturity came my way while, I must admit, I wished she had gone up to the
two brats, and said how
amazing they must think she is-
Making things happen at school, from her bed ,while throwing up at home.
But that isn't her. 

And since this was a "no explanation" situation, and more of a "these things happen for various
reasons" lecture, I couldn't even end it with, it will be over soon. 
Because even as adults, just when you think you have passed into the end zone,
and scored that touchdown of "womanhood", it can still rear it's ugly head.
Some people will just always have something to say....and we, as human beings,
and now even adults,
have no hand in what those around them, will believe or relay to others.
We can say, who cares, one million, five hundred times, but if it isn't true, it never
feels good. 
Even if you are a confident person who isn't gonna lose sleep over it.
Women more than men, just have so many opinions-and many times are so
insecure with either their
own lives or themselves, it really does give them a feeling of self satisfaction I guess.

This life has so many layers, divots, boundaries, lines of personal space, along with
maybe a few areas marked, DO NOT ENTER. 
Kids are usually that area- the BEWARE OF DOG section-
I can handle most of everything- but DO NOT hurt hearts.
Much different to me is the drama that is "every day", or discipline, etc-
We tend to steer far far away from the NOT MY KID parents-
More likely to blame ours first,
because we want them to be different than a lot of them.
I don't care if something is "being done" or considered "acceptable", I want
my kids to rise above the garbage that is handed to them.
Just because something may be legal, doesn't mean it moral...or in any way, okay to be, or do.
Whether it's teenage issues, adult issues, all the way to our government.

Reilly is learning her first lesson in character building, the concept of true friends, and what
choices she may make in a different position one day.
She will see how quickly conclusions are come to, and how fast reputations can
be impacted by just one simple sentence that isn't true.
And although all of this is super common during the school yrs, it is the first written
thing on her life's list
that will make her who she will become as a woman.
Not to be corny, but it's true-
As annoying as it was to have those specific negative girls we all grew up with,
the awesome thing about it is, they're figured out pretty fast. 
And even better?  They helped mold us into the women we become.
You just have to hang in until then.

Hard lessons are just that...hard. 
There's not much worse than someone
who has a great heart with kind intentions, and then marked with an X, with wrong ones.
But opening that confidence to the truth, is so important. 
And as long as our kids know who they are, it's
only a matter of time, until others figure it out.
The nay- sayers will always be heard  the loudest, but then they go home. 
And they're alone.

Life has a way of always working out-
And like we said to Ry, God is a fair man, and He will, in His time, clear your
name, and let you shine.

Have a great day with whatever lesson you (or your kids) are learning :)

Hugs :)