one day rule

every household is run in a different way.
we all have things that are huge for us, and things we aren't going to be
sticklers about.
if we compared them all, i bet there are things we all agree on-
respect, manners, good grades...
and then things we differ on-those "field were willing to die on" options-
that vary from family to family...
and that's good-that's what makes the world go round----

growing up the one thing that i would put high upon almost any other, that my parents had,
was something my mom called-the one day rule.

my mom was a teacher before she had kids.
and once she had us, she decided to stay home.
although she eventually opened her piano studio, she always taught in in the evenings-
dinner hr and on, a few nights a week, so
she was still home during the days with us...
but it was known, that it in no way meant she was our errand boy.

our home was not strict, there were three girls...and we weren't ornery...
no one farted at the table or told wiener jokes.
we played school and barbies, and (except for one lapse of judgement on
a weekend my sophomore yr)
i really did tell my parents where i would be all the time, and checked in, etc...
so yes, we'd be grounded for drama, or hormonal rants, but there didn't
need to be 1,000 rules
around the house.

having said that, the ONE DAY RULE really sticks out in my mind-
one, because it was talked about often, and two, because i hated it.
the ONE DAY RULE was this:
an annual get out of jail free card, issued by mom, for when you forgot
something and needed it run
to school.
could be anything-a paper you wrote, gym uniform, whatever...
but it was ONCE, and only ONCE.
so you knew, it better be worth it...
and there friends, was the biggest dilemma of all-
when to use it.

looking back, it was a lesson just the elimination process itself.
i'm sure certain years, there were bigger decisions than others-
and depending on how far through the year it was, it became
easier to decide.
if it was earlier in the school year, i'm sure i had to think
harder and
weigh if something bigger could possibly come into play later into the semester...
and then it was up to you, to make the call from the Sr lounge,
and give the go ahead..

no hopes in forgetting on her part either-
you just considered that card of yours stamped-
because after that, it was next sept until
you'd be picking that phone up again...
that's it, fork pit.

wow, as a mom now, i now know how hard that must have been.
when you're young, you think...geez...you're just at home mom...
taking care of two babies, yea, but what's the big deal?

can't you hook me up??
don't you WANT me to do well?? 
hand it in? 
have it?
don't you love me??
and now i sit, knowing she was hooking me up
she wanted me to do well
did want me to have it
and loved me so much, that she would come, ONLY ONCE.

in fact, she was probably hooking me up the days she "wouldn't",
more then the one day, she did
and it took more love to NOT come,
but ugh, its hard.

we want to save the day, really, we do...
but the more we wear the cape, the more they aren't becoming the hero...
every time we run this thing in, or drop that thing off. we are taking
away that tiny part in their brain that may stand up taller, to remember next time.

the quote "this will hurt me more than it hurts you", used to be
a joke to all of us, didn't it?
yeah right, we thought, i'm gettin the spankin..
but now as a mom myself, i see it.
you are looking into the eyes of someone you love more than life,
and having
to put your foot down-
no ice cream, missing a party, or going to bed early-
and now as they are older,
no, i cannot bring that in today.

some of us wont even be able to do it... it tugs too hard at your heart strings.
but as much of parenting consists of, many hard decisions
lead to even better outcomes.
i believe one of the things that could help this current generation,
is more parenting, like
we may have had.

moms and dads who are setting early lessons of "life",
the real world that our kids will one day be standing in.
and that universe of theirs, will not be completing itself
with their own personal phone booth,
to have mom pop out of, to the superman theme song-
as with everything else that includes our kids, no one said
this was gonna be easy---
these moments are the teachable ones...and only you
can make the call.

i say all of this as i sit looking at my freshman son's, homemade, mexican bean, fiesta dip,
that he woke up to heat, at five forty- five this morning-
it is on the counter, next to the oven,
on a silver platter, filled with tostitos and a handwritten recipe card.

and so it continues.....






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