Who are you??

I dont know if you're like me but the holidays really give me an overwhelming sense of the
"giving bug".
It's already such an expensive time for people, and with each child added to our brood, it gets more pricey :).
You have your own family's gifts, the relatives, the tree, decorations, and then bigger food bills with all of the entertaining.
But aside from that, my heart goes out to the many families in need and collections that are taken up throughout my area.
I know we can't help everyone but even if it's a few dollars, along with someone else's, it can add up.
I buy my kid's teachers gifts throughout the year, and at Christmas, I admit, pretty nice ones.
I love them and they are such a huge part of my children's days.
And then we buy little presents (lottery tickets, etc) for our mailmen, trashmen, etc.
But now, as the older kids are more involved in things, the demand is getting greater and somewhat endless.
For example, this year-there are not only classroom parties but polyannas too.
Even the cheerleading squads are having an exchange.
Along with these parties are the festivities, which include a donation of food items and then money for the pizza orders.
A little something for their coaches would be nice.
And even if you buy on your own gift, the moms will take up a collection and you'll look like a cheap-butt if you dont contribute.
You want to anyway, so you do.
So that's just home and school, then we go to the public places-
And as if you didnt feel bad enough already, it is now officially public knowledge if you decline!
CVS, my grocery store, and even Target have the DONATE $1.oo on the debit/credit card screen now. On top of that, some even ask out loud anyway, when you're getting ready to pay-
Great, so everyone around me can think, look at this chick! What a tight wad.
I was at CVS three times this week-do they know I hit the yes THOSE times and really need that dollar for my next errand??
And then the ever-so-precious red cans with the bell ringers at every mall and store this season?
You are drawn like a magnet, feeling the need, even if it's just change from what you just bought that hadn't made it to your wallet yet.
When do you decide that you have given enough? Is that possible? And how do you let guilt not enter the scene?
While my kids were getting ready for school this morning, I was reviewing in my mind the shopping I had competed so far and who I still needed to buy for.
I was secretly checking off my list, feeling good that I would be exactly on budget this year! Whoohoo!
Immediately that thought was interuppted with one son reminding me about a school collection that was due today.
The celebration froze.
I really did feel like I had done a lot, is that bad to feel??
And it wasnt even that I didn't WANT to give something else, I just had this fleeting thought, this quick jolt of WHEN DO I STOP?
Is there a line that is drawn in giving, and how do you ever know if you have done enough?
My face must have given my thoughts away.
I would never SAY those words but I think my look was like, are you kidding me? Really?? Something else??
My heart didn't mean it, but there will surely be others donating...right?
My son smiled this ever-so-sweet smile and as he walked to the
door said, "But mom, were the Hale's."
Wow.
It was like electric shock-a combination of feelings ran through me.
And although it didn't answer my question of when, I was assured at that moment, that
we have shown the meaning of giving, the more important point of it all.
Roman and I have had such a rollercoaster ride getting married so young and then deciding to have self employment with a large family.
Years of ease; huge jobs rolled in and we took extra trips to the beach and went out to dinner a lot more.
And then years of tightening the belt. Sacrificing, and sacrificing more, and bringing things to the minimal.
But in either situation, we gave.
Not for credit anywhere, a lot of times nameless...but always, no matter what our situation.
You make decisions as a family, but do you ever really know if your kids are getting it?
If they really do grasp that their life isn't as hard as they make it sound-and that others really do need you to care.
That there are so many people that would love to have your 4 YR OLD playstation.
You pray they do, but hearing a child believes that giving goes along with your family's name? That was simply priceless.
I shared with my friends that this year we called Salvation Army to help with any recent needs they had. Their first response to me was asking if it was court ordered.
Um, no we just want to help out...Ohhh, she said.
I don't want to believe that it is more common to hear from people that HAVE to help, any more
than I want to believe that there is actually an answer to my question of when you can finally stop your giving...
Should you donate money instead of paying your water bill? No. But I do think we always picture finance as donation.
Along with your gift of time, you are able to give your family our life's most awesome present-compassion.
2010, is such a confusing time. People are budgeting while others are building mansions. People are broke while others are racking up credit cards not knowing how they're going to pay the bills.
The foundation of our country always ends up focusing our world on the financial-and look where that's gotten everyone.
If we could turn inward, having heart could cure it all.
Your heart can help you make the right choices so that you become "successful", but even better, is it can make a difference wherever you go in your life.
I was taught a lesson only seconds after I posed my question, and it was answered
by my fifth grade son.
You give of what you can, because of who you are.

Happy Holidays from one proud mama to another..Hugs!