The Hale Family~You just gotta laugh.

Twas The Day After Christmas

2011-12-26T13:38:00.000-05:00

Twas the day after Christmas,
when all through the house
Not a kid is in sight, better not be a mouse.
The stockings still hung, but now empty and bare
While the junk that was in them, lays about everywhere.

No children are nestled all snug in their beds
For video games now rule all their heads.
And mom in her sweats and a cute baseball cap
Will be the only one soon, not taking a nap.

When down in the basement there rose such a clatter
I tried to ignore it, but it didn't matter.
Kids running upstairs to tattle and yell
Someone hit someone, and someone else fell.

No moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
It's just simply cold out...just so you know.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a bottle of wine and a case full of beer.

With a handsome, bald husband, holding a flower
Reminding me of, pending "cocktail hour".
More helpful than ever, he offered to tame
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now Gabe, now Reilly, Now Gavin and Max
On Reese, on Lily, on Mason and Lex!
To the door in the kitchen, to the living room wall
Go play with your toys, go play one and all.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with what created, The Hale Pig Sty.
So off to the closet to get out a broom,
Cleaning up toys, candy canes, and each room.

And then in a twinkling I heard a strange sound
I walked down the hall, and knew what I'd found.
As I drew in my head, and started my peeking
I saw my dumb, stupid, washer, was standing there leaking.

Its a front loader, stuffed, from bottom to top
It's always turned on, working non stop.
Just gotten serviced from the Sears Guy named Michael.
Want nothing more than to have it recycled.

I spoke not a word but went straight to the table
I heated leftovers, still partly stable.
And laying my Windex down under the sink
I completed all missions with still time to think.

I sprang to my feet and gave my family a shout,
Soon in ran the circus, not a cry or a pout
And you heard me exclaim, I love Christmastime
Lets count all our blessings, then pour me some wine!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!! XO!
Hugs!

Hugs!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

"Stockings were hung by the chimney with care, while the crap that goes in them, will soon be in there. The stuff is all scattered, underneath my whole bed, while visions of dollar stores dance in my head. While mom is delirious, and dad has no clue, that the bank account is almost withdrew. The presents have almost taken over the home, while adding the "teen" gifts, almost equal a loan. Target, Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, we are finished but now need to store some on the lawn. But I hear us explain as we sip eggnog tonite, all are here and are healthy, what a beautiful life."

Xoxo for a beautiful holiday season!

With love, the hales :)

Hugs!

Hugs!

Your own Thanksgiving :)

2011-11-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

Most of us agree as parents, or anyone for that
matter, it's important to show
kids (and everyone) that "serving" is important....
Helping or creating something for someone else...and to have
the gift of giving it to them---not just at Christmas but whenever.

This first idea for Thanksgiving Day is that everyone in the family, prepare
a piece of the meal.
Not just Mama should be in the kitchen!
We are adding in the "surprise" of it all to make it more drum-rolly-
grabbing your dish from a hat.
That me friends, is two fold.
More suspense of course, any excitement around here is huge.
With a bonus of not being able
to blame mom/dad for getting that one, or wanting another.

Each of us are going to be in charge of that specific thing-
Shopping for the ingredients, making it however you'd like, picking the
presentation of it.
Whether it's a special dish or 200 toothpicks around the edges!
Then, at dinnertime, walking around the table, and placing it
onto everyone's plate.

The second idea was the "thankful five".
Having chose a family member, and writing down five things you
love about them.
After dinner is done, you go around the table and take turns sharing the
great things that you feel, when you think about them.

Every year I try and have the kids do crafty place
cards for everyone...
Someone write a special prayer....
Any little idea that can make it a homemade day.
And these two, I think will be added, to the traditions
around here..

Its so huge to me to always have a message along with the "festivities"...
And after we made our plan for it last night, I just thought I'd share in case
your family was looking for something too.

Wishing you all a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday.
Here's to sanity, love, and the simple blessing of health in your lives.

Remember, no matter where you are in your life when
you wake up Thursday, you are here.
You are alive.
There is a plan for you.
And so much to be thankful for!!!

Hugs!

The little things

2011-11-16T22:43:00.000-05:00

Jewelry, a hundred dollar perfume, weekly blow outs at my favorite salon?
Those days, even if I ever had them, are over....
The little things my husband could do for me, doesn't even compare.

It's like a daily game of WOULD YOU RATHER?
With the winning answer (for me) never being
a tangible item.
The times I feel the closest to Roman aren't probably ever the
times he would think (well, until I told him).

Our anniversary plans are nice.
Romantic dinner,
whatever sweet present he passes across the table.
I do love it.
But to be honest, the car ride with one nights no interruption,
the idea of HIM,
actually making the plan for what were doing....
those are the heart jumper things.
The stuff that make me love him.

Maybe I'm not the "norm" but I know I'm not alone here.
The idea from back in the day that you could never understand,
the giving is better than the gift, is sorta like this.
Isn't simply picturing your spouse thinking about what to do for you awesome?
Actually coordinating a freaking plan?
And hopefully connected to what
he thinks you would enjoy?
Anything after that is icing. :)

When is it exactly that the thing YOU COULD NEVER IMAGINE
being exciting, become so?
Or the things you only heard your mom wanted for Christmas or
her birthday would be on YOUR own list?

Peace, a long bubble bath with no questions to answer,
no shouting for one morning, and someone
to call out "Alice" instead of Mommy a few times?
It's not a lot to ask....
And even if everyone around you simply tries, it's a score.

Let's face it, it's sort of a running joke how mom's never get breaks-
That's why the universal picture of one, mothers day morning, still in bed
pretending to be sleeping while their circus "surprises" them with breakfast,
is so adorable.
The entire family KNOWS she never gets to rest.
And commercials, or movies, lead all to believe that she needs more
after that...
When in reality, if after she eats, someone just gave her a homemade card
and she got to stay in her pj pants, she'd be over the moon.
It's the little things----

Say them, do them--every day if you must.
And we'll be ready!!
We'll be happier, because we feel loved.
We'll be less moody, because we were considered.
We'll be less stressed, because one little thing literally means ten to us.

How about communicating?
That's a little thing...
and yet, it's just
SO HARRRDDD for men.
Please.
It's only hard because you picturing having to get
ready for an actual event.
Dressed up and headed for the kitchen table, chairs
across from each other,
like you're preparing for the high school debate competition.
Like you need note cards and to have studied..
Like you may or may not make it out alive.

We really don't ask for much.
I mean, please, we married A MAN!
How much expectation could we possibly have?

But ladies, do not make the mistake I did, and ask your
husband to throw you a bone.
YOU WILL NOT LIKE THE RESPONSE TO THAT ONE.
Ummm, not what I meant honey.

Maybe if men knew not only how much these things mean
but how long we
just may remember them...

One of the sweetest things Roman did was a few years back.
He called my cell from
the road on the way to a job and proceeded to let me know he just saw
the best looking girl.
I was like....coooolllll.....
He told me he was on the highway going toward Savannah and that her car
passed him while he was at a light.
Again, I was like, coooolllll....
Then he said, YOUR HAIR LOOKS AWESOME TODAY.
I got tears in my eyes. I had passed him, it was ME!

Still to this day, I remember hearing that, and how it made me feel.
My morning was going crazy and such a small thing for HIM to do
but so huge to me. Still.

Whether it's a single flower from your own
yard, holding hands for the two seconds you may have in the morning,
or a smile~ that after you've been
married a while,
says more than anyone else knows....do it.

If your a man, remember your wife loves if you check in to
say I love you after lunch.
She wants to hear how you feel every now and then, even if it's the shortest
sentence ever.
She also likes to be reminded that you feel lucky to have her.
.
If you're a woman, remember your husband likes to hear you still
love his butt.
That he is a hard worker and
(even if it's a long shot) that you may want some tonight. ;)
They don't need much.

Even if you can afford all the "big" stuff,
you can't buy the "little".
All those things are only sold inside ourselves....
That's probably why it feels even better
to receive it.

I know at least for me it is.
At this point in my life,
38 years old with eight kids, it's a clean sweep.

The sweetest thing Roman can do is put the coffee on.
The sparkle in my eye every morning with that, far surpasses
any diamond ring that he could ever find.

Enjoy the "little" in your life...and pass it on :)

Hugs :)

YOUR CLIMB

2011-10-20T11:26:00.000-04:00

Roman and I have joined a class at church.
It has been really inspiring, really informative.
It is based on the bible but hits on the topics of christian marriage,
family and the core of just living a good life.

Not only do you learn and relate these things, but the ten to twelve
couples there, are able to share their own opinions
and stories, whenever they feel led to.

People have laughed, cried, felt a sense of relief...
And in some instances, at least we, have left, with a true renewed spirit
to take into the next week.

It's nothing that we've ever done before , but even within our own family,
has made a
difference already.

The topic for the first few weeks was FORGIVENESS, which you assume is one
whole idea.
But as you dig deep into it, you cannot imagine how many letters are under that
roman numeral outline. Wow.

But the best class so far, was this past Sunday's---
When they added on-~stress, anxiety and worry.
Yup, something we have all dealt with, are dealing with right now,
or will in the future.
In fact, it is a guarantee.

Yes, it is promised that things will go astray or not as planned in your life.
But you are in good company.
Everyone alive will be faced with these stumbles-
so if you are prepared and have faith, you will come
out better than you went in.
The class shared so many things this week, of course
because it is so freaking relatable.

Their were stories of job loss and the feelings of fear.
Stories of daily anxieties people have, and are constantly struggling
with, some for no reason they can even come up with.
One woman's words even put an older lady in tears, talking about something
she wouldn't elaborate on.
Just feeling each others emotions, brought you into their life.
And even if your own tale wasn't comparable, you could take a little bit of it, and
bring it into yours somehow.

All of us have been there in one way or another.
And anyone that has had to walk that "unknown" so far, can only say one thing.
It not only will get better, but it makes you better.

With each thing-there are two sides, the "scary" and the "new"
Scary is the change.
In life, change equals hard.
Hard equals unknown.
And the unknown equals fear.

Unknown is uncomfortable.
And that explains why it is so difficult for people to move, change occupations,
add another child,
or have a health scare.

"I don't have enough information, I don't know if it will work, or how
I will feel., but most
importantly, will we be happier, more successful...?"

Newsflash. Life is turning, and how the heck do you grow, or make a difference
if things stay the way they are, all the time?
And again, to change lives and people, there needs to be growth.
And growing hurts sometimes.
And other times, take a while.

What we rarely think about is the basic concept of "our timeline".

We are on "on demand society" and the realistic side of us knows
that it isn't always possible
But the NOW NOW NOW people, that we have become,
expecting our outcomes to happen immediately.

"Oh my gosh, if this happened on Monday, and it's now
Wednesday, were doomed.
I thought something would have changed by now...
its not lookin good."

Think about anything in life that you are trying to change..
Joining a gym, to lose weight or get in shape.
Climbing the corporate ladder..
Even compare it to your kids in school--having to go through elementary
school, to middle school and then high school....
You don't learn, and grow, and see a difference in you life, without "the climb".

If you didn't have to work your way through a moment, or you
had a stage handed to you, you would
not only not learn struggle, you would have nothing
even close to appreciation,
for the lesson in front of you.

God isn't looking at this "page" in your life,
he's instead focused on your "story".
As you should be.

The book of your life is being written with each day that you get through,
and the last chapter can only be as amazing as you were throughout .

Just because today, or yesterday, has a question mark across it,
doesn't mean
that next week or the one after, isn't going to have
an explanation point.
Your life can turn in a minute,
but it has to depend on faith.

One of the lessons taught Sunday said that with worry and fear, comes
a "diss" to God.

It is saying, you don't see your life safe in his hands.
That you want the control, you trust yourself more, and aren't willing
to look back at your past-
How he's gotten you up your mountain.
And will again. And again. And again.

God wants the best for all of us.
He will do anything to show and prove that to you.
But promises there will be time of need.
Time of prayer.
Time of heartache.
That is the way for him to become close to you.

You may not see for a while~
What it was, or why it even happened.
But it time, it will become clear ~
And you will become a stronger version of you.

I know my family has had it's share.
After my sister was diagnosed, I could not imagine the tailspin my
life would take.
I could not envision ever having so many tears.
Or living a single day without a sister I was never apart from.

But that chapter in my life was meant to be.
It was meant for me, and hundreds of friends and people we knew,
and never knew, who were and still are, touched by her story.

A twenty five year old who chose her baby over treatments.
Someone that wanted more than anything in the world to be a mommy and
wash a t-ball uniform.
And someone who would never get that chance.

So many moms will wake up and hug their kids
tighter now.
So many people will appreciate more than they ever would have, because
of her memorial service.
Meeting her son Noah, who will have an undying example
of the ultimate sacrifice.

Financially~ a less important, but difficult lesson.
It took us sixteen years to build perfect credit and attain properties for
or kid's future
But within eighteen months, lost bigtime.

Four years ago we came back from Ga, with our tail between our legs.
Sold some, lost some, credit trashed .
Prayers were abundant...but there was no changing that plan for us there either
.
We made all the right choices, were honest, and responsible.
But the outcome was to be the same.
This was another lesson, understanding
again, was meant to be.

At the end of the day, it got us back near family and more open minded.
When we hear stories of hard work and yet struggle, we relate more.
When we see someone needing a break, we are less judgemental.
We have given our last dollars to friends in need, and somehow
things always get paid and work out.
But I don't think, the "goosebump" moments would be the same,
without having experienced it ourselves.

What's abundantly learned is that if we made a list of our struggles,
worries, fears...
only one thing is the common denominator ~
95% of our scary-list, are things, simply out of our control.

Seriously, get a pen and jot down yours-
How many things in front of you could you do anything about at this moment?
That is why you aren't to worry.
Where does it get you?
No matter what you decide to do today, it may not work for your tomorrow.

There's enough to take care of that you are IN CHARGE of.
God's letting you change your babies diapers, and get the groceries.
He's fine with you driving to soccer and Christmas shopping.
And yes, you are to work for the things you have...

But put the rest in his hands.
He wants you to enjoy being here,
being present in your story.
And no human can do that the right way, along with all the rest.

2011 is getting out of hand.
We aren't supposed to attain the mansion, brand
new SUV, clothes of Hollywood stars,
and then search to the heavens to be able to afford it all.
You aren't to live like that, because to do it, the stress and struggle
of providing for it, will hold you back from the best in life.

Were supposed to live simple,
welcome our "journey" and embrace our blessings.
No worry, stomach aches, migraines...
Think about it, how much more would you see
clearly, if you really did hand that heavy backpack over?

God's delay, is not denial.
Your troubles are no surprise to him...
and he already knows when they are fixing themselves-
Question is, how will you see yourself when it's all over?

Wake up, with your arms stretched out.
Make your coffee, love your children and stay in faith.
No crying tears of worry, only tears of joy.
There are struggles you cannot imagine, that others are facing---

"The Climb" is part of your book--and your book has already been written.
You are now starring in the production, as we speak.
Will you have a captivated audience?
What will they walk away learning from you and how you
handled your "action scenes"?

I am hoping for a standing ovation.
And one very, happy ending.

"I may not not know it, but these are the moments I'm gonna remember most "

"Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about whats waiting on the the side,"

"Keep on moving, keep climbing...keep the faith, keep your faith, it's all about the climb."

Hugs!

Don't worry about me, still waiting......

2011-09-23T17:46:00.000-04:00

Dear Fios Tech Support,

Having nine people that need my assistance every day, makes it really
easy to understand
your job description and what you are surely up against in your occupation.
I get many aspects of your existence....

Surely you wake up every morning with every intention of getting your
orders completed.
You have endless customers waiting for you to come and fix their problems.
Be their miracle worker.
I'm sure you have different hoops to jump, and many obstacles that are thrown
into your mix.
I also get that you are facing crankiness~over the phone, at the door, or even by
your fellow employees ~
As you, even you, have to wait for customer service to get the quick codes
for my order.

But there's a problem.
In my life, and most others, if I were to pull the five hour window scam, and
still not show,
things wouldn't work out so well.

If I had told my doctor I would be stopping in, anywhere from 8-12, and didn't,
after laughing his ass off,
he would probably slam his door on me, after charging me a no-show fee
of course.

If I told Giant, I'd be back between those five hours, to get my groceries, and
didn't, they'd be put back on the shelf and I'd have to shop all over again.

And if that time span was given to my kids' school, as to when I'd show to
chaperone
a field trip, the bus would surely have left me behind, along with any chance
of needing
my help again.

So why is it that I am not treated in that respect?
And if I can't be,
why can't I simply have an appointment?

Why can't someone, like I have to do, book a time to come and fix the problem
YOUR EQUIPMENT is giving me?
Then we can all be happy and no one's time is wasted.
I'm at home, you're able to get here, and it's all over.

If not, you do not agree, and this 8-12 thing works for you, why do I sit here,
at 2:30, without you here yet?
Worse yet, why haven't you even called me?
Let me know you didn't forget, or your running late (duh), or when you
are even going to eventually get here.

I get things come up.
I get I'm not the only one and you're not at the spa.
But here we are, no signal and no you.
And I'm not at the spa either.

I'm here, just like I have been.
Since eight a.m.
Because I said I'd be.

So, I'll just hang out, I mean, it's obvious you didn't think I had plans.
Just, whenever you can make it, is fine at this point.
I'll figure, that you'll figure out you're at the right place, once you pull up.
Cause once you're here, you'll know it.

Don't know if you're a parent or not, but get ready!
We'll be the house with seven kids, that haven't had
TV or Internet for almost 72 hours...
And I'll be the mom, that let's them "help" you,
the entire time it takes you,
to fix the problem.

You can thank me later :)

Sincerely,
Jennifer Hale

end to lazy days

2011-08-22T11:39:00.001-04:00

commericals with the holiday song-
"most wonderful time of the year".
endless circulars with school supply sales for
the past month.
the slightest breeze in the air, almost whispering that these
are the last ten
or so days you have left to sleep in a little later, a
few extra times-
or, (even harder to swallow), to mix up that pitcher of margaritas at six pm
that still shouts- SUMMER.

this year's break, with our oldest having taken off, our
beach vaca early,
and added craziness until two weeks ago, although relaxing- for
the most part, truly sped by.
here we are, triggered by the teacher letters showing up
end of month,
realizing that the minute
directly after feeling like you JUST relaxed from last year's
routine, it's time to start again.
the letterhead lets you know, it's about that time.
time to put on your new sneakers and place
your foot on the line of the school -year's -running -track...
waiting for
the "get set" and then "GO!".

the funniest thing to me about it all through my past eighteen years,
is everytime this hour comes,
i feel like i am just about to prove myself amazing.
THIS YEAR, im gonna be organized.
i get the schedules, the lists, the meeting dates.
everyones lunches are made the night before,
backpacks lined up, two hundred fifteen emergency cards
filled out the second I get them.
this is gonna be MY year. im going to rock this thing. Oh yeah.

who am i kidding? um, that would be myself.
but its good for us.
i really like having the kids here all summer and am bummed
its coming to an end,
so the one cool thing is that i can imagine is "routine" with
my newfound perfectness.
a whole new chance to get on top of things-be on time.
never forget a dang thing.
and maybe, quite possibly, i can trick my kids into thinking it too.

motivating at any age is hard when they've had a length of time off.
of course they're excitied (young ones anyway) for that first week.
they have a new place to go, and get to see their friends again...
but that's short lived. come on.
so maybe this deep breath of ours can carry over and get everyone
pumped.
maybe....this year.

good luck to all with the trips to target and wal mart.
have fun venting or lecturing or convincing or simply
saying 100 no's,
as they point endlessly to only the things they DONT need
on the list.
hang in there if the memory you thought you were gonna
make doesnt go as planned.
know that some years its great, and others-a semi-disaster.
and if all else fails,
follow a mom with a soon to be college bound, with her.
imagine me, (although we did summer session), doing my
last outing for
the "real" session, tomorrow.
remembering the years of hello kitty, that have now turned into a lime
green coffee pot.

this, like everything else, won't be your life forever-
the summer days go faster every time im turning around.
even if theres only a week left to create some fun, go for it!
the house will be quiet enough soon---don't rush.
and good luck with this year's race.
i'm sure to see you on the run! :)

Hugs!

DONT WAIT FOR A CALL~

2011-07-13T17:23:00.003-04:00

Just wondering, in your day to day, if something changed your vision of life,
what wouldn't be a big deal anymore.

Wonder for a second, that there was an interruption of sorts.
A test you had to get done was getting reviewed.
You didn't get the call yet, and you're waiting, and waiting, and waiting....

Would your outlook on life be the same? Would it waver?
What kind of things would you be saying to yourself?
How would the colors of the trees or the smell of your grille be that day?
Stronger, brighter, any better?
Would your children's smiles seem bigger, better than normal, because
you are looking
at them with an unsure future for yourself?

So often, life is passing at the speed of light.
We are bombarded with the news, stories, articles....
All claiming to have what's important for you to do-
Get your finances together, get your credit up to par, buy the home of your dreams.

But what about the life of your dreams?
The day to day things that actually count when your shut your front door?
What about remembering what all of this really is for?
What about reminding people, along with not
living for the past,
to not wait for the future, to live either.

Within this capsule of "the now", we are cleaning, and running, and working..
We are paying bills, and running place to place-
thinking, tomorrow-tomorrow-tomorrow....
A naive "guarantee" that yeah, we may not be here at 95,
but we
have a whole lotta life left.

Yet, with each day, comes another loss of someone young, old or
middle aged, taken, without warning.

Today is all we have promised.
If you woke up today, you got another try, another run at things~

But remember, this time, in limbo, waiting for your news.
Would the words, when the Dr called, change who you are?
Yes, it may change your lifestyle, but
would it change what you choose to do with your days?
Who you love? How you show it?
Would it make you finally take a vacation, or tell your
spouse exactly what he
or she truly means to you?

We can hop scotch through, until ten pm every day, and not
think about things, til our head
hits our pillow.
We can run on auto pilot, hugging our daughters, or wrestling our sons.
Make dinner as we eat on the way out to the car.
Or finally get to our beach getaway, and check into Facebook on
our cells, eight times, while
everyone else jumps waves.

But after your results were spoken, wouldn't all this time to embrace,
feel like double the blessing?

If you don't already, try and take a day, to wake up like your phone is about to ring.
The voice on the other line could be a relief, but it could also
limit your future, with everything you ever knew.

What wouldn't be a big deal anymore? The mess?
The trip to Acme?
The way your husband puts his feet on you during the Phillies game?

Wouldn't so much feel like a waste of complaining about?
And so much more, feel like you're a real life lottery winner?

Keep that idea going, and see where it takes you-

How you see things,
and if anything alters itself, to make your world even more beautiful.

Not only may it change what your life looks like,
it could possibly, change your whole outlook on life.

Hugs!

"My Main Man"

2011-06-20T15:10:00.008-04:00

An amazing husband.
And unimaginable dad.
Neither possible, without first, being a good man.

Blind date or not, even when we were young(er), my now
husband Roman's,
heart and soul are the same today, as they were,
nineteen years ago.

A core built on life's simplest things-
Foundation -made of honesty, and being a moral man.
Strengthened by walls of undying love for his family.
All safe under the roof of creating a life that would make God himself, proud.

Think he's corny? Oh well.
Think he has a gullible wife? Who cares.
Think it's short-lived? Then you need to know him.
This is who he is.

My teammate, partner in crime, best friend, has been by my side since
our second date.
We were a long shot yes, but both of us knew the truth.
We couldn't stop calling each other..
We made dates for almost every day of the week.
And hey, I still like talking to him! :)
Marriage, parenting, living together every day, no one said it was easy all the time.
If they did, they'd be lying-
But all you need is to know is there is no one else you'd rather
ride the roller coaster with....and that, we have!

We were sent a "surprise" at a young age and never did he take a
step back from that crazy news.
Our family had begun, and although we both felt it was God's plan for us, and
completely meant to be,
we had no idea what was in store for the future.

Life's ride has taught us more about each other than anything could.
Through heartbreaking losses in our family-
a shoulder to cry on and words of light
and purpose for it all.
To the most beautiful of days, the birth of our eight children.
The greatest moments we will ever know.
Each thing, bringing us to know the heart of the other even more.
And with all that comes our way, the smile on my husband's face, has
never faded.
Being a man, of course sometimes he says things in few words, but
his arms are always open....
No worry, no need to discect things-it's just life, were blessed.
Even when things are a challenge, we will be okay.
It's today's distraction, it'll all be good.

As a dad, there is almost nothing I can say about his love for
the position.
I have never met someone so addicted, so proud...
We know God put us together because of that mutual quality.
Never did we think we'd have a small family,
but I don't think imagining two more
than the Brady Bunch, was invisioned either.
With each birth, that same unexplainable feeling fills you...
And adds to your heart, another portion of what life is supposed to be----

Every day I watch my husband, the human jungle-gym,
devour this role like nobody's business.
It is something that no woman can explain, watching their husband
with their kids.
Just so lucky to have the full circle of life in your home.
People say were crazy, it's okay-
We love it...if you're life is crazy, your life is full.

During every huge, small, or in between moment, Roman is the the voice of
reason, strenth
and a billboard that shouts Nothings Impossible.
He has an insane work ethic topped with the one thing that sometimes does
bother me, never needing a plan. :)

The heart of 100 men, doesn't just rear it's head when all is well.
The economic meltdown hit us, and hit us hard- about five years ago.
Everything we worked to attain and have for our future was taken
away in the matter of
months, leaving us with only our humility.

Not a single time, did the man I love, ever take the low road.
We sat at our kitchen table and prayed.
We asked for direction and help in decision making.
We had partners that didn't pull their weight.
We lost money to banks with broken promises.
Yet, we slept at night...due to knowing this was somehow in our life's plan.
Somehow this would make us smarter, stronger, better.
Maybe just show our kids that life won't always be easy or fair.
But it will end, and you will be okay--

Nineteen years ago, I was sent this blessing-
Wrapped up in (if I must say) some very nice muscles,
and a goosebump giving smile.
This blessing taught me to not be afraid to try things others may not be doing.
But more importantly, we were gonna do them and good things were gonna happen.
He was right.
I used to care what people thought-I used to think that it mattered.
But now I live a life that is more fun than the average, probably because it's so different
than anyone else's.

Together we just have a zest for life, and it is made easy for me, because of him.
He wants to live for today-
Not looking back, or even forward during it.
Just being happy-
And that in turn, has made our family happy, our kids happy.

To our four sons, he shows the picture of love for a wife,
honor for a mother,
and what the definition of commitment should be.

To our four daughters, he is an example of what you want
to find in a future man.
What you deserve to be treated like, and to walk through the world, next to.

Things aren't always bright and perfect, and things can throw you
off your course if you let them.
We've had both, like everyone else.
That's the way it goes..
But if you're lucky, you will feel the hand of someone you love,
wrapped around yours, and walk the road together.
You can look over and say the smallest of things, or the greatest of things.
And with them, even if nothing is said, just having them there, is enough.

Last year there was a song that reminded me, in one sentence, of how
my husband makes me feel...
"I see the best of me inside your eyes".

Thanks Ro. I know I don't tell you enough, but thank you.

http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-husband-rocks-writing-contest.html

And off she goes...

2011-06-15T12:49:00.001-04:00

It was nothing as I pictured. Really.

Nothing about it was how I thought it'd look, feel or be...

I mean I knew I'd be emotional, duh, but all the rest of it was like a dream

or something.

A feeling I really can't describe because it's not how I've ever allowed

myself to feel.

All of the huge moments leading up to these past few days have been so

insane.

And the fact that I am who I am, and am obsessed with embracing them all,

and truly eating them up individually, had them come one by one,

but at lightening speed.

The cheer banquet, was the green light in my mind that things were

coming to a close...

And I had told myself that once we got the letter regarding the end of
the year festivities,
it was going to tidal wave. And it did.

Shopping for prom dresses, online Sr week house views,
her two week notice for work, announcements,
the cap and gown coming....
But I still filled my busy brain with party planning and all of her
friend's celebrations-
leading up to grad night.
All wonderful distractions-literally, holding on by five fingers, that slowing were
slipping to four, and then three...
Until Monday night, when I found myself holding, as tight as I could, with just a thumb.
High up in the stands, with my family and a heart that had never felt the way
it did, at that moment.

The music started and over four hundred young adults started to make
their way to an arena
filled with moms and dads holding cameras, video recorders and
overwhelming love for someone in
that line.
It gave me chills. I knew that this was it. Here they come.

We waited, as she waited.
There Lexi was in line, braided hair, flip flops...that is who she is now.
That is who she turned out to be...

I flashed for a second to Kindergarten graduation-where I
remember imagining this day.
Not even being able to picture what kind of personality would
take over her life.
Would she be outgoing, or shy.
Into style or creative.
Would she be athletic?
And oh my gosh, what would she look like?

I couldn't imagine that morning, 12 years ago, as I snapped her picture
with Mrs Cuskey, her first ever teacher,
that all those questions would be answered so fast.
I had heard it would, but here we are.
And there she is.

We held hands and it was in seconds, "ALEXIS MARIE HALE".
My world was silent.
She shook a few hands and walked down the aisle.
My eyes filled up and I just stared until a small speech of
hope for the future was spoken
and hats filled the sky...
It was over.
Childhood, the school years, anything I had ever known...

And yet, the feeling as I cried was not what I thought I'd feel.
I assumed I would feel loss.
And although the first thought naturally is to cry for the loss
of what was ending,
I was so overwhelmed with excitement for her, I never let
myself go there.

I spent eighteen years, embracing, enjoying, making memories...
with all the time
I had in that chapter.
My heart was so full of that time in our life, it absorbed any part
of what others may regret or look back sadly upon.
I stood with only the beauty of witnessing our firstborn turn
into woman,
with just the call of her name.

Looking back on this year, speeding by on the track one million
miles an hour,
it really seemed to feel we would have more time to fit all these last
school-age milestones in.
And there is still a few left regarding all of it.

We have some shopping trips planned, which is always fun.
Sr week is coming, so I'm sure to remember 20 years ago, when I
go and grab some cases of mac and cheese
and a few bags of junk food
for them. :)
And we have our week at the beach at the beginning of July.
Full of the annual fun and craziness~
But this year, it will be sprinkled with
some bitter sweet.

This will be the first family vacation, where thinking about going, is
gonna be tough.
I can't wait to spend hours relaxing, having no plan- just enjoying
everybody together.
But the third day, Roman and I will be leaving the gang with my
family, to take a drive.
The drive to drop our child off at summer session, where unlike the ceremony's
tears, will not end with hugging our little
girl and bringing her home.
Somehow, maybe only with God's grace (and the strength to move mountains),
we will be hugging her and then leaving.

How I will do it-how I will kiss her face and walk down a hall that
isn't linking her bedroom to mine-
I cannot imagine.
I don't know how something so foreign, or unnatural happens.
I just don't.
But I will be.

This new phase will be nothing like the one I knew...but it
doesn't mean it wont be just as amazing.
Just in a different way.
Each of the chapters in their book will be full of all new things-
I think that most parents' heart aches at chapter 2
though, because
unlike the last, these next years, don't have your name
next to theirs on every page.

This next section, has them as the main character.
And although you will enter certain scenes,
these are roads they will travel without you driving.

God has it right on, ages they will start pulling back, and
wanting to be more independent.
He purposely has them getting annoyed and gravitating toward friends.
It's no accident it happens that way.
He gives us all this time~from holding them as newborns to their
eighteenth birthdays.
Time to kiss them, and hug them, and share in their memories.
To be part of their life, every single day.

All of this, for all of us.
So that it isn't just over night, because it is bound
to feel like it.
It's gradual as you look back, but will be hard regardless.
And knowing that early on, can help to embrace even the smallest of things-
So you, like me, can look back and smile through the tears.

The other night we were watching a movie and Lex was sitting next to me.
She fell asleep and ended up with her head on my lap.
After everyone went up to bed, I just sat there and leaned
over to rest mine near hers.
I didn't leave.
My leg was asleep at times, and my arm from time to time,
but it didn't matter.
If someone offered me $10,000 to get up I wouldn't have.
I was as comfortable as I could ever be.
We slept that way all night.

I will miss every day that I don't get to see the face I feel I've known my whole life.
I will miss all the coffee runs and the calls from the shower that she
forgot a towel.
I will miss just jumping on her bed to find out the latest gossip.
Or having her tell me that my belt looks stupid but she has an even
better one that would look great.
I will feel sad knowing how much all her brothers and sisters
will miss her being around.
And oh, how will I ever handle, not getting a kiss before going to bed,
knowing everyone is here, under one roof.

But this adventure of hers is about to begin, and it has endless possibility.
It can't happen if things stay the same, so we are doing this!
I have a new role now, and just like for her, it has never been.
So exciting! So full of promise!!

Congratulations Lexi-
As Dad and I said at your toast-
You were our only "surprise", and what an amazing one
you were.
We never had a huge amount of money,
but you are the first of eight things, that have always made us feel rich.

No matter where you are living or even sleeping at night,
I will forever feel like that night on the couch~
You will always be that close to my heart.

I love you sooo much and am so proud of you baby girl!!!!

Hugs! :)

MUST THERE BE...?

2011-05-31T09:25:00.001-04:00

Must there be? A banana sticker put on my candle holder?

Must there be? Probably thirty two old VHS tapes, I cleaned out this
weekend, in perfect condition, with one
home movie accidentally stuck in the middle, frayed tape sticking out of it.

Must there be? A (reminder of) a receipt on my counter, for the $380
worth of upgrades we had to make to the mini van, only two days
before it burned to the ground?

Must there be? For some craaaaazy reason, no baseball games scheduled
the entire beginning of the week
all four, same night, same time, different fields.

Must there be? Someone who takes out a single photo from the picture
coasters we have, so there can't be a whole set?

Must there be? A never-had-kids-before model, showing me what my what my
"hide-your tummy" bathing suit that I ordered, will look like, on me?

Must there be? Literally, eleven different styled, single, black socks, in the same size?

And finally, cracking up as my one year old, surrounded by a hundred toys, chooses
instead, to climb under the desk as I type this, and pull the
computer mouse cord for entertainment.
Just sayin- crackin up.
Hugs!

Laundry~

2011-05-19T12:37:00.002-04:00

Okay, really?
Someone really needs to get a grip.
If it is this way, after all this time, it may be a hint that it will NEVER change.

My laundry room is ...just ugh.
People laugh and joke and kid, and I am a gamer...I am a positive person,
I like to smile as much as the next guy...
But this area of the house? It is sincerely no joking matter.

In fact, come to think of it, nothing regarding any part of clothes, even
touches something
funny, around here.
Not seeing them, buying them, washing them, folding them...and certainly not
putting them away.

The endless piles, endless cycles, endless dirty, clean, stained, folded...
Even seeing the basket, empty or full, is enough to give me this feeling in
my stomach,
that although I have only heard of what panic attacks are like,
may give me one.

In the house we are in now, there is a laundry shoot.
I have talked about it before-being a play toy for my boys when we first
moved here.
Well, my husband seems to think it is someone of a family treasure...being
so handy and such.
"Look hon, everyone can just toss you their stuff at night, it'll make it so easy
for you."

Easy? Have you lived with us for long? Did you just get here?

As if he resides in a world where it's all done, every load of clothes,
but the last of the evening.
Yeah, the family is just stripping down after a productive end of the day...
And lined up, one by one, they just
take turns tossing two pieces of clothing each, downstairs.

And there I am, can you picture me?
I stand, apron and all, at the bottom-
Big smile ready, with my fluffy little basket..
Waiting patiently in my spotless laundry room, for just this one load.
That will keep me caught up, forever...

Newsflash! This tunnel of love, in his eyes, is (in mine), the pit of disaster.
Not only does it scream to be fun for the boys, it also has a benefit to
the "shady" Hale kids-
Their own personal, "sneaky shoot".

We have neat organized kids and we also have the other kind-
Ones that have mountains, (clean or dirty, who knows) all over the floor,
in their closets, under the beds...
You name it.

Now, these are the kids that of course, you need to tell to clean their rooms.
They don't have to have it nice, don't care if it's tidy.
And when that day (of the freakin year) comes, guess what is guaranteed to
happen?
YES.
The tunnel is immediately beckoned upon, requested to have yet
another job-storage unit.
Like the woman at the bottom of it, will never notice such a thing.

Is it just coincidence that the days you clean, it is stuffed so tight, it doesn't move?
Are you kiddin me??

Every single time, my lecture of cleaning up, is put upon them, the shoot literally
vomits, over half of what
I saw in their rooms, all over me.

Having said that, the family was called for a recent living room meeting.
In part due to this issue,
but even worse?
Due to the sight of one of the most disturbing things I have
witnessed in my eighteen years of being a mother.

All waited with wide eyes, wondering what this INSULT to me could be-
There was chatter, and then I entered the room, intent on proving my point.
I took out the "evidence" and lifted above my head, high in the air.
I (dramatically) pointed at it, as I called out in my "stern" voice....
THIS!! THIS CAME THROUGH MY SHOOT TODAY!!!
In hand?
A size 8, boys t-shirt, folded.

There were no smiles, or laughs, although I did expect them...
Maybe some confusion, but only until further explanation.

"I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TEN OUTFITS A DAY, MANY OF THEM
SMELLY AND NOT ENJOYABLE TO HANDLE.
THAT IS ADDED TO ALL THE TOWELS YOU USE, BLANKETS AND
SHEET YOU SLEEP ON,
AND ANYTHING PEED OR PUKED ON AT ANY TIME,
SO, I DESERVE SOME RESPECT.

EVERY PIECE OF CLOTHING HAS ITS OWN JOURNEY.
IT BEGINS
WHEN YOU TAKE IT OFF AND HAS A LONG WAY TO
TRAVEL UNTIL
IT GETS ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE WORN.

IT GOES DOWN OUR SHOOT, INTO A BASKET.
FROM THAT BASKET
IT WAITS PATIENTLY TO GET WASHED.
AND THEN DRIED.
AND PUT INTO ANOTHER BASKET.
IT THEN RIDES UPSTAIRS WHERE IT GETS FOLDED AND TAKEN TO
A ROOM, UNTIL SOMEONE DECIDES (OR DOESN'T DECIDE)
TO PUT IT INTO A DRAWER.

ONLY THEN WILL IT GET TO BE PUT ON YOU, AND WORN
AROUND SCHOOL, SEEING EVERYONE AGAIN.

NOW IMAGINE, AFTER ALL THAT IT HAD TO GO THROUGH,
SOMEONE PICKS HIM UP AND
DROPS HIM TO THE FLOOR.
WELL, THAT IS SAD ENOUGH.
BUT THEN...YES,
THEN, HE GETS SWIPED UP AND THROWN INTO A PILE OF DIRTY THINGS...
AND FROM THERE, RIGHT BACK DOWN
THE SHOOT HE JUST GOT BACK FROM?
NEVER EVEN GETTING THE CHANCE TO BE WORN!"

Even my older kids just stared at me.
Did anyone get it? I prayed they did...
I also hoped I didn't scar the little guys-
Making it like the shirt was alive.
But I really wanted them to get it-there was a bigger lesson at hand.
And that was, what the heck?

No one knew who's fault this was-
It was a size 8, but that does not mean, around here, it was the guilty party.
The point was--
Am I to bust my butt, wasting my time, and detergent, washing clean clothes too??
It's hard enough to complete the cycle for articles that truly need it.
This had to be discussed and now.
Before I ever had to feel that way again!!!

I haven't seen another folded thing come to me since.
Maybe some clean(er) things, but I wouldn't dare test,
to find that out for sure...
Just trying to open minds around here to my curse...the endless piles that consume my
every breathing moment.
Almost calling my name through the vents with every step I take around my house...

"Jennyyyy....
I know you can heearrrr meeeeeee, come wash us...."
Ugh, i have the willies just thinking of it down there....

Laundry is the worst.
I have tried sorting, buying cute bins, even the best smelling
detergents, etc to try and motivate---
Um, nothin...
It's like trying to eat a Popsicle in a snowstorm,
just not gonna happen....

I just grin and bear it, knowing it's part of having the large gang that I love...

Are you waiting for a point?
Nope, no great-ending-lesson, or moral.
Just sharing my "Hale Hurdle"...

So, next time you are at your washer, and feeling like a mountain
from you- know-where, think of me.
Not only may you laugh, but if you picture my pile,
you're sure to feel so much better !!!! :)

Hugs! :)

A Thank You On Mothers Day :*

2011-05-08T07:58:00.000-04:00

To My Eight Children,

Today is Mothers Day and I just want to say thanks to you.
Never before I had kids, did I know how I would feel or how I
would be, having a family of my own...
Let alone, that I would EVER have two more than the Brady Bunch!

I knew I had the heart for it, and that I could love someone
with all I am.
But the journey of creating, giving birth, and then raising
them to be a good people...you just don't know, til you do it,
what it really entails.

You don't know, really know, how much love you will feel.
Because you never knew you could love something, more
than the word love...
You don't know the bond you will already have, even before birth, or
the feeling of becoming an instant human shield. Ready and
willing to keep you safe forever.

No one can prepare you for seeing you walk for the first time, or
say mama...
Getting your first homemade gift from Preschool or taking you to
the bus stop and letting go of your hand to climb the steps
for the first real time away.

Watching your activities-
From the times that you would wave and wave, over and over again...
So excited to see me, so happy I'm there...
To feeling that little pinch, as it turned into only a smile, and only, when
no one else was looking.
And then I catch glimpses of you getting older-
With not much of a warning
that I'd see you less, or become more of a bother.

Soon, the friends take over this child of mine.
The one that used to want to hug me, and lay with me-
I never knew it would come on so fast....and how much
I would miss you.
Within what felt like no time, I'm now forced to untie the strings
and be okay with no longer needing me for much....

But I am still here, and will be, forever...smiling through teary eyes.
Remembering all the years, the beautiful, most amazing years, that you
were small, and I got to watch you grow.

Lily, you are still our "baby"-
Our "Lils". Our sweet, chubby Lulu...
I'm so glad we decided on "one more" or we would never know you-
You fit right into the madhouse and everyone loves you so much.
Your smile is addictive, and never fades-:)
Sooo happy all the time,
the best baby anyone could ask for.

Reese, you are a bright star in this family.
You take on the role under four brothers like it's no
body's business.
You win for the most stylist Hale, hands down.
With the cutest pipsqueak voice ever heard.
And, (drum roll please), you are the first child of mine, to look like me!!!
Do you know how exciting that is Reese?? SOOOO EXCITING!!!

Mason, I don't think anyone has made us laugh more.
You are witty and charming.
And have the best one liners ever.
I know you get tripped and wrestled down most of your days,
but you hold your own very well.
You have a lot of love in that heart of yours.

Max, you are our Yoda.
You lived a long time ago and I really believe knew a lot and shared a lot.
You are a leader-very wise and kind.
Probably more than you will ever know-
I think that is why you were sent to us on 9/11/01.
You were a gift to the world on a very sad day, to give us hope for
a beautiful future.

G-man, you are so freakin cute!
You have gone from the peanut of the family, to "da man"...
So organized, so together-trying so hard at everything you do, EVERYTHING.
I love that I have a boy who
washes his face and brushes his teeth because he wants to.
And always there as my date to watch action movies---
You're awesome.

Reilly, what do I say to the future's best mom ever?
You have been a little mommy since birth and
my right hand woman.
I love our talks-
I know whatever I think is adorable or cute, you will be just as excited
and emotional.
Someone who organizes while I'm out, just cause she wants to, needs
a business plan..;0
You are an amazing young woman already!

Gabe, I cannot believe I have a son that is taller (and bigger) then me.
I never thought that would happen.
It was just too far away for me to imagine.
You are so handsome and funny....and talented.
As much as I hear that everyone is annoying, I watch you with the kids
when you aren't looking and it makes me smile.
You have a lot of love and will be an amazing dad one day.

Lexi, you were our first.
I don't remember this love without you in our lives...we never experienced
it before.
I know you're embarrassed, we talk about your milestones a lot because
it's our first time at it all.
You were leaving for Kindergarten and now have 25 days left of Sr year.
Almost done with our "first chapter", please know we are so proud
of what your values have become, and that addictive spirit of yours...
Keep that with you forever.

I love you all so much and thank God every day for the absolute
honor he gave me, trusting me
to see you through this life with us.
I hope that Daddy and I show you a life full of fun, and love, and make
you never afraid of choosing things that may seem scary or different.
Being happy, and caring about others, will take you wherever
God's plan for you will be.
Love you!!!!!!!

And finally, to my own mom, who showed me every ounce of the love
that I have adopted...
Happy Mothers Day.

No one could ever ask for a better example of what to strive to be.
You were the definition of love for my sisters and me, and we miss your
face every single day.
I hope I make you proud with my traditions and unending promise to
make all the little moments in life, grand memories.
Even from heaven, you have reminded me of what truly matters and I will
love even better because of that.
Thank you for making me who I am today.
Without you, I wouldn't have any of what matters the most.

Happy Day to every mom out there! Enjoy the best things in life~

Hugs :)

one day rule

2011-05-05T09:58:00.002-04:00

every household is run in a different way.
we all have things that are huge for us, and things we aren't going to be
sticklers about.
if we compared them all, i bet there are things we all agree on-
respect, manners, good grades...
and then things we differ on-those "field were willing to die on" options-
that vary from family to family...
and that's good-that's what makes the world go round----

growing up the one thing that i would put high upon almost any other, that my parents had,
was something my mom called-the one day rule.

my mom was a teacher before she had kids.
and once she had us, she decided to stay home.
although she eventually opened her piano studio, she always taught in in the evenings-
dinner hr and on, a few nights a week, so
she was still home during the days with us...
but it was known, that it in no way meant she was our errand boy.

our home was not strict, there were three girls...and we weren't ornery...
no one farted at the table or told wiener jokes.
we played school and barbies, and (except for one lapse of judgement on
a weekend my sophomore yr)
i really did tell my parents where i would be all the time, and checked in, etc...
so yes, we'd be grounded for drama, or hormonal rants, but there didn't
need to be 1,000 rules
around the house.

having said that, the ONE DAY RULE really sticks out in my mind-
one, because it was talked about often, and two, because i hated it.
the ONE DAY RULE was this:
an annual get out of jail free card, issued by mom, for when you forgot
something and needed it run
to school.
could be anything-a paper you wrote, gym uniform, whatever...
but it was ONCE, and only ONCE.
so you knew, it better be worth it...
and there friends, was the biggest dilemma of all-
when to use it.

looking back, it was a lesson just the elimination process itself.
i'm sure certain years, there were bigger decisions than others-
and depending on how far through the year it was, it became
easier to decide.
if it was earlier in the school year, i'm sure i had to think
harder and
weigh if something bigger could possibly come into play later into the semester...
and then it was up to you, to make the call from the Sr lounge,
and give the go ahead..

no hopes in forgetting on her part either-
you just considered that card of yours stamped-
because after that, it was next sept until
you'd be picking that phone up again...
that's it, fork pit.

wow, as a mom now, i now know how hard that must have been.
when you're young, you think...geez...you're just at home mom...
taking care of two babies, yea, but what's the big deal?

can't you hook me up??
don't you WANT me to do well??
hand it in?
have it?
don't you love me??
and now i sit, knowing she was hooking me up
she wanted me to do well
did want me to have it
and loved me so much, that she would come, ONLY ONCE.

in fact, she was probably hooking me up the days she "wouldn't",
more then the one day, she did
and it took more love to NOT come,
but ugh, its hard.

we want to save the day, really, we do...
but the more we wear the cape, the more they aren't becoming the hero...
every time we run this thing in, or drop that thing off. we are taking
away that tiny part in their brain that may stand up taller, to remember next time.

the quote "this will hurt me more than it hurts you", used to be
a joke to all of us, didn't it?
yeah right, we thought, i'm gettin the spankin..
but now as a mom myself, i see it.
you are looking into the eyes of someone you love more than life,
and having
to put your foot down-
no ice cream, missing a party, or going to bed early-
and now as they are older,
no, i cannot bring that in today.

some of us wont even be able to do it... it tugs too hard at your heart strings.
but as much of parenting consists of, many hard decisions
lead to even better outcomes.
i believe one of the things that could help this current generation,
is more parenting, like
we may have had.

moms and dads who are setting early lessons of "life",
the real world that our kids will one day be standing in.
and that universe of theirs, will not be completing itself
with their own personal phone booth,
to have mom pop out of, to the superman theme song-
as with everything else that includes our kids, no one said
this was gonna be easy---
these moments are the teachable ones...and only you
can make the call.

i say all of this as i sit looking at my freshman son's, homemade, mexican bean, fiesta dip,
that he woke up to heat, at five forty- five this morning-
it is on the counter, next to the oven,
on a silver platter, filled with tostitos and a handwritten recipe card.

and so it continues.....

,

It's Like a Bomb Went Off-

2011-04-29T11:38:00.000-04:00

In so many ways, I've come so far-
I really have learned lessons in balancing almost 85 % of things that go on in this circus
act, that is my life.
It's not so much really even directing myself or prioritizing, but
more of an "embracing"
and then immediately after that, letting go of some things...

Like in all the houses around the world, starting at the sunrise
of the day-
we awake to our schedules, whatever they may be, and start jogging
(or sprinting) thru, until our heads hit the pillow,
after a HUGE glass of wine.
No matter what your home may be made up of, and
if you one kid, no kids, or ten kids,
you will be pulling out all the stops to try
and do your thing-

But when the heck do the bombs go off??
Did I miss something around this house??
EVERYYYY time???
I never see a bomb, nor do I smell smoke, or hear it being lit??
But there is a freaking bomb somewhere, closets full of them I guess-
They can go off once or twice a day, and I must also have specially
made ones, that can sit and magically then explode two more times after-
Aren't I lucky?

I try, most days any way, to make it look, (even if it's just imaginary),
like I actually did
something around this place.
I'm really not a all -day- lay- around- at- home- mommy, so
it's almost insulting
to see what my
hard work completed, looks like.
If it's mopping or the infamous wiping down of any or everything.
Loads of clothes, and then
spending 2.5 hrs putting them away...
Loading the dishwasher, only to start, and empty, and reload, two more
times before dinner....
And dusting? Seriously?
Dusting is the biggest waste of time ever because it just sits right back
down on whatever you dust.
But we do it, because it is in the handbook-if you don't, your kids
will be taken away.

Whatever energy I give this house of mine, it is sure to go
unnoticed and most times, made to look in seconds, like I have never tried
once in my life to complete anything here.

Every mother knows her role as housekeeper....
Whether you work or stay home, under the definition and picture of you,
is seven words: trying to nail jello to the wall.

You find it hard to even begin to make a plan in cleaning because
(if you have young children)
even where to put them while you do it, is a crap shoot.
NO matter where their entertaining spot will be, they will need to leave
that place, in order to
clean THAT room, which only leads to them to destroying the
room you just finished cleaning...
Just play the Barnum and Bayley theme song and be done with it.
On and on it goes until you, every single time, settle for the
partially clean rooms
throughout...good enough.

Double edged sword, asking for help...
But when you are making a group effort there is a must.
You must always assign an "assistant"-
The assistant has multiple roles which are very, very, important to
a woman like you.

First, the assistant needs to have speed-
It cannot be one that tends to be a straggler or the
caboose of your clan..
This child will be sent off with things you are picking up here and there,
and must be able to put stuff away, at lightening speed, returning for more.
Second, a good deligator-
If new jobs arise, the assistant will be telling
someone, to tell someone else, what someone else,
should be doing.
And third, but maybe most importantly, take on, like they're life depends
on it, the role of "spy".
There is always one family member
that veers off course more than the others.
You can count on them to be easily distracted and end up playing
with the Legos that he's pulling out of the vacuum hose-
The assistant will be your "rat", enabling you to stay on top of the
delays that are sure to happen.

This is all on the days you even WANT help..
Another reason were exhausted when we have war- zone- houses,
are the arms of dilemma.
Some days it is simply more tiring to have
to give orders rather then just get things done all ourselves.
Like company in for dinner, that is trying to help you-
putting things in the wrong places or
needing to be told where everything is...
Not really called HELP, although they mean well.
You must decide.

Around here, you (almost always) choose help.
One of the great
things about a large family
is the competition in things.
Yes, we love when different sports are chosen, or some go a
different route
with an interest, things are all their own in certain areas.
But when a few are involved in the same thing, they really
do watch each others strengths and weaknesses.
And not because they are so wise and knowledgeable, well,
maybe a little...:)
It is the race of life, sibling rivalry, and wanting to be the best...
Pleaseeee...have you met their father?
Voted most popular in high school, most athletic, and something else..
Me? I was runner up for best party....wonder if that helps at all..

Having said that, it's very strange...
On one hand we have that, and on the other-I have never
seen such independent people-at all different ages,
different interests,
really believing things should always be even and fair.

I know it is a kid thing-
He has a ball, I should have a ball.
She got a cell phone at 13, so I should, etc.
But in this house, it is relentless.
And when we are cleaning and organizing-it is front and center
to conversation.

Everyone gets their lists and it begins.
Wait, why does she have 4 things and I have five?
If I have to clean our room, why doesn't he have to help?
They made the mess, why am I the only one....
I always have to do everything.
He never has to do anything.
I do everyyything.

Um excuse me, no you don't...
Mommy does everything.
And the answer to your questions, why do we always have to clean?
Yeah, that would be, because you are always making a mess...

So they start...and if all are involved, yes, it can be more of a
commotion,
but it does take 1/2 the time.
We turn on the music, and with everyone running in their directions,
me and my assistant run in ours.
Our fastest time (without scrubbing but just wiping down) is just over
two hours.
That will give an impressive shine, pine sol smell, and crisp clean beds.
Not bad.

It's annoying, It's work. But it's part of life, part of a household-
And you can get into battles with each other, if you
don't learn to work as a team.
Why we feel guilty sometimes, for involving everyone, is beyond me.
It was a squad's mess, the squad cleans it up.

If a bomb, no, when your next bomb goes off, remember...
Moms everywhere, are dressed in their camouflage just like you.
We are all dragging our bodies through the rubble, just in a different
colored living room.
We are barking orders to our own armys, and like we did last weekend,
asking our co-captains to set the timer
for cocktail hour.

As long as you are living, you will have your battlefields to clean.
But there will come a day, that
you won't need so much ammo to do it with.
All too soon, you will have more free time to get it completed,
and it won't be
spread across so much of your territory.
But as nice as that sounds, it will only be for one reason-
Your troops have completed their mission with you, and are gone...

When you really think about it, you aren't measured, (by awesome people anyway),
on how clean and organized you are.
Is anyone that's truly important to you, really leaving, having judged
your kitchen while you guys had coffee ?
I'm tellin ya, you're getting more smiles from neighbors that see you
having a picnic in your front yard
or jumping under the sprinkler, rather than scrubbing your deck.

Truth is, you can believe (and announce) that this will be the last time
you will let it get this bad.
You can tell yourself over and over, that chores are gonna change,
or your husband
is going to pitch in more...
You can even set up the whole house with the fanciest bins and gadgets
to make thing run more smooth-
But in the end, it doesn't matter.
Unlike the rule of life, there is a guarantee.

After all is said and done, there is one thing I can promise you -
Once your house is clean? No one will stop by.

Have a home be your home, whatever that looks like-
And "they will come."

Hugs :)

Young Love-

2011-04-26T10:54:00.003-04:00

So--- It's not enough that I have already been there.
Not enough, that my heart has already broken, and I couldn't eat for days.
That I waited for the phone to ring for hours upon hours, and that my pillow
held more tears that month than the world's largest mop.
Now I had to go and have teenagers that would walk the swamps of sadness-
And I have to re-live those feelings, again-
But this time, through their hearts.

Ugh, what I would give to have all this just be "spidey-proofed"...
Just never be allowed to be seen, felt, or even heard of-
For their sakes, and frankly, for ours too.
But yes, as the all- encompassing "rights of passage",
We must go through it, in our own time.
And this, my friends, to me, is one of the toughest.

It's no secret that I can be a little too attached...duh...I have a hint of
OCD yes...and not where
it comes in handy.
It is "OCD OF THE INSIDE"...which has no impact on making life glamorous
IN ANYTHING I do-
You see, most OCD has it's ups-and can create chatter amongst others...
But not mine-
It doesn't impress people with organization, or endless delicious recipes for apps
on a summer day.
Never have I been asked, how I put such a touch on style-as I put together
my outfit for the third time this week....

My "infliction" is inside, and I must say, I'm not the only one-
It's the (sometimes too heartfelt) obsession- with my kids and wanting things to
always be well.
But for all in close range, here's another Jen- Hale -Newsflash!
It won't always be...and if you're honest, it is better in the long run that way.

I mean, of course, if we could "guard rail" them forever, that would help.
But we all know, like
life's book says on a daily basis, "the stepping stones of life, are built by difficulties
and heartaches.."

BUT WHY IS THATTTTTT??
Why cant we just learn from happiness and harmony?
Guess that's a story for another day.

Soooo...here I sit, watching one of these moments hit our house,
and hating every second of it.
I would fear for my life, announcing which teen of mine this is about...
But it doesn't matter, and seriously, it is sad.
And hard. And really sucks.
And although the "Hale child" was the one to do the breaking up, it wasn't easy-
they really do still love their "friend"...

Most of us have been there.
And whether you are the one that ended things, or the
one that had it ended ON,
neither position feels good, and neither is an easy road to walk, let alone, get over.
But what I DIDN'T have to feel at seventeen, when it was happening to me, is
the mother's part of it all.

This position as a mom, really has some hard hats to have to wear.

In the beginning you think-the "baby"
Okay, I'm gonna lose some sleep, and my boobs are gonna hurt...and maybe
leak in public.
I'm gonna have to potty train, and have to know when to take them to the ER
with a high fever.
But man, it goes from worry and panic, to this new phase-
Where you are literally remembering
this stuff like yesterday....and it's (unless they let you in) not even involving
you anymore.

As women, ugh, it's probably even harder-
The one thing we have going through a stressful situation, the only thing that
may help us at all, is control.
But as they age, even if you are still technically "the boss", some things, well, you're out....
It's this new day- and hellooo, I don't know when it freaking happens...

It is now them, and their issue-
And as much as you may want to still continue your role
as ringleader, (all you know to be), you are only called upon when needed.
AND NOOOO,
Not when you think you're needed, when they think you are.....
Which makes parents, especially mommies, go crazy.

I want to know what's going on, what happened, how everyone is feeling
about things.
So unless I want to be an insane maniac, I have to wait patiently for a knock
at my door-
And then try and win the Oscar for looking like I'm not the most excited person
on the planet-
Not only getting to hear the latest, but have the chance to (casually of course),
find a miracle way to spit out everything I have had to say, but
make it sound like I'm just tossing in my two cents.
You know, play things cool.

Having said all this-
What am I getting at?
What (besides having no say) make it so darn hard?
One thing.
And that is, (the absolute beautiful sight of ), someone loving your baby.

The first time you hear someone is crushing on your kid, whether it be
preschool, or 5th grade...it is precious.
Well, for most of us.
A mommy's head tilts and says...awww, reallly???
And you immediately ask for a class picture or for someone to point them out to you...
"I have to see who loves you!" lol

Then, the years go on, and if it gets more "serious"
they come by or stop
over on a weekend with a friend or in the infamous "group".
You catch yourself listening to how they speak to each other or
any flirting that you can
bust on them for later.

And as they age even more, if you allow it,
they start spending even more time together...
That is where we were these last seven months...

Vacations, weekends, even a few weekdays, together a lot----
And that dang mommy part again? You become attached.
You watch them enjoy their talks and laughs...
You start to get to know them and their families-
You see your son or daughter, have this sweet light in their eyes when they're around---

And then, lightening strikes one day, and it is over.
And YOU WEREN'T READY.
You didn't call the shot, you were right smack in the middle of what you thought was simply
awesome. And what? Nooooo!!...

Yes. Just like in 1991, hearts are broken and you feel helpless.
Ugh, I hate it.
I hate it for the child of mine that was so torn and still loves them.
And I hate it for the one that still has those same feelings, and is hurting.

As parents, again, we have no control-and I get it...
Some of you may end up being really good
as removing themselves-that's awesome. And healthy!
But I'm not one of them.

I remember my mom telling Roman years ago that I am a "go hard" girl-
When I'm mad, I'm furious, when I'm laughing, I'm hysterical and when
I love, it is wholeheartedly.
So freaking true.

I give my all, maybe not to having the best looking bathroom in the
neighborhood, but in all honestly, but to
any friend, child, or thing that really matters.
I know I joke, but my OCD to "love and addiction to my babies" does have good things
attached to it.
Two very good things-
(1) That I will always know I did all I could with the years I got
(2) To not have much regret at the end of my days...
Those things will sit in the back of my mind, and will
probably help me through a lot on this
roller coaster ride of ours.
Even this.

Funny enough, because of the way I feel about things-and just like I say here
on my blog,
I have really good talks with my kids and their friends about these kind of things...
A lot of parents lecture on sex, respect, good grades-
But I talk a lot, besides that, about life and our experiences-and funny things that
have happened through the years...
With a huge emphasis, on everything happening for a reason-
I really think that's a great thing to talk about if you are a believer...
And very recently, had a talk with the boyfriend/girlfriend that we are discussing here,
I remember it being a really good discussion-and how we really connected with it.

I am hoping they remember that talk now, while things are hard.
And remembering that if things are truly meant to be, they will be...no matter what.

At times like this, I am glad that my talks have happened early-
Before these things even start happening---
I am constantly amazed with the quantity of things they have come to me
about, and the personal things, they feel they can share with me.
I don't know what specifically I have done to earn that trust but maybe it's simply just
that open door feeling I try to give to all of them.

It's hard to juggle eight different ages, with eight different needs and to
be honest, sometimes
I do worry-
I am only one person, we all are.

How can we concoct a recipe with a balance of love and come to me with issues,
but include a strictness and were still your parents thrown in with it?
Am I saying enough, teaching enough, talking enough?
But maybe the answers to our questions can be found in the simple
connection we have
when we are alone with them.
We must be doing it right if they are confiding in us!

If your kids are still young, think about what kind of mommy (or daddy) you
want to be.
And how much you want to share or be shared with-
Some don't want details-don't feel comfortable talking too
personal about things...
But then the other side of that, is praying they hear the truth from
someone else, which doesn't always happen-
I can talk about anything so that wasn't hard for me, but I still search
for a balance to it all..
How can I not be in denial about what is coming up for
Sr Week but not condone it??
We will always be learning and growing-that's our job :)

Whether it's relationships, behavior, school---we are bound to be filled
with the rainbow of parenting colors-
And although we will hopefully have more brights, some gloomy will be mixed in there too...
Seriously, who said it was easy?? NO ONEEEE!!!!
We can't help feeling it, our hearts are still connected, and will be, for freaking ever.

So, for all of the sweet people that now, or in the future, hang out with us,
and love our kids, I want to say-
you will always have a special place in our hearts.

For all of these memories are ours to share too,
Just now (as the parent), in a different way :)

Hugs!

And it ends....

2011-04-25T08:45:00.000-04:00

I know the house is quiet.
And yes, we will be able to control the "disaster zones" of blankets, opened gallons of Turkey Hill
Iced Tea and endless bags of Tostitos-
But man, I miss those buggers.

Spring break was so awesome this year-and not because we stocked it with fun filled
things to do...
We did hit the movie theatre for DIARY OF A WIMPY KID and then an evening showing
with the big ones to SCREAM 4...both very good in my opinion :)
But the rest was just chilling-
Trips to Five Below (my kids favorite place on earth), sleeping in til 9 something, and
a few b-ball practices.
Then on Thursday we took them all to Brigantine for the weekend.
We played every sport imaginable
in the front yard, went to the park, had fifty two games of
UNO and fourteen of Rummy, and just enjoyed
doing whatever we felt like, um, whenever.

Summer will soon be here and I know my grocery bill will be higher and
I have to balance my
part time job, when that time comes, as referee.
But I really do (when I'm not in the black and white striped outfit with my whistle)
enjoy all my
monsters, being around.
Nice weather is coming soon to stay!!!
Okay so----
Get something done people-your house is a mess.

Hugs!

DAYS ARE LONG, YEARS SO SHORT

2011-04-18T15:48:00.000-04:00

"A parent's days are long, but the years, so short."

I have heard this quote and talked about it with other mommies so many times....
Why is that? Are we overdoing things sometimes?? It's crazy!

We wake up to some days of insanity-the dog pees on the rug, no one ran the
dishwasher,
seven bills to pay, and the cars in the shop with four baseball games at six....
Your head is spinning in one million, five hundred and two directions, all
with ideas on
how you are going to finish this list of yours, and make anyone involved, happy.
Now can you just drink your coffee before tackling the world??

One woman, one hundred ways to be the best.
And every single day, you wake up
to try again.

I think there is so much to be amazed with, in our every day. So many grand,
wonderful
things that we will see, take part in, and enjoy more , if we included in that
outline of our day, being present.
Mommies across the world, have so much to eat on that daily plate, that many aren't "tasting" as
they swallow it down.
They aren't able to bring the fork slowwlyy to their lips, not only getting to
anticipate what is about
to fill their stomachs, but even getting to enjoy being full.

If you feel your days are long, maybe its because yes, sometimes they are
just that, full.
But other times, our own doing...our own FAULT.
Self inflicting, this demand of ours.
Things must be tackled with perfection, and tackled immediately. And
then it's tomorrow, and time to do it all again.
And that, my friends, is why the years end up feeling so short!

If your minute to minute of hustle and bustle are drug out,
but it seems like just yesterday you were
dropping your fifth grader off at Pre-k, then there is the proof in the statement
above, life is
speeding by.
And we need to grab hold of that train and not just get our ticket stamped.
We need to ride with our own windows down and
faces to the wind.

The "rat race" of life, in most cases, can be controlled.
It is chosen, (to a point), and anyone that says differently, needs to take a
closer look.
Just as we are meant to have "life" along with working, we aren't meant to
pack every single
sport, recreation and school activity into our kid's childhood or our own lives
with our kids.
There should be time here and there, to build a tent, rent a movie, or go on a
walk in
the back woods of your neighborhood.
Their creative mind should be awoken here or there, to pretend they are
superheros, tying your
sheets around their necks.
Or store cashiers,
lining up your can foods next to a calculator.
I didn't need a Nintendo DS or a laptop, in the 1980s.
I started a water ice stand, and pushed the button on my snoopy snow
cone machine in the
driveway with my sisters.

If there is no "free time" leftover, it is one more reason, you are overwhelmed
with long- butt days...
Stuffing your hours to the max is creating a life where
no one feels their time is showing.
No one is feeling "gratified", because there isn't twenty minutes left, to
fit that
feeling in.

The reason we may feel days are long is because many people cannot
picture it
ever coming to an end...
Just as the concept of our house ever being clean again, we can't always
see that
in just a few
short years, our kids wont need this much attention, or explanation...
Moms are screaming at the mall when they're Christmas shopping, they're
worried about everything always looking perfect, instead of taking the time
to involve anyone,
making things more fun...
I know that every day can't be a dream scenario, but it doesn't have to be
THAT HARD either.

So many parents get burned out in exhaustion, solely because of their own
expectation.
Organization, never running behind, dropping a ball, or being tired...
Truth is no matter how your vision is for parenthood, you will have days that
you fail...
You forget something, or had 2.5 hours of sleep due to the stomach flu....
But life goes on....it is universal, and up to you to embrace it-
Because you know what? Time will move, with or without you....

Look at your own family and where you are today...
Don't you remember JUST having your children, now matter how old they are??
The "younger years'-
The first coos, smiles, scooting across the rug for the
first time??
How proud you were??? Jumping up and down...
The little teeth popping up, the "da-da", "mommmmmaaaas"....
Pre- School, with their first artwork, and little Holiday shows...

Yes, those years are full of emotion and sleep deprivation-
Were lugging the infant seats, diaper bags, strollers-
But once they're packed away, so are the chubby little drooling cheek smiles,
and the cookie
fingers touching your face and your white shirt...:)
The little piggies that don't smell yet, and the arms stretched out when you
walk to their crib, like
you are the end -all to life.

And then you get the Kindergarten registration-:(

You envision, where you are now, as being this way forever----
Newsflash, they won't be begging us to play UNO or Candy land for that
many years....
They won't need rides to every sport, or friends house, for too much
longer either-
But that thought doesn't come into play often, because we are in the
midst of it-
We are the center of all that is needed right now, so we push play, and
we go....

Teenagers will not always be sarcastic, and rolling their eyes...
They will leave for prom, and then for college...
The years of lecturing them about making good choices and wondering
when they'll ever not think you're lame will end...
And you will be buds, can you imagine that?
They will be your friend one day....

We should know better to believe what feeling is created in life's chaos...
We know were aware, we cry our eyes out to videos of DON'T BLINK,
or people's home movies of their own
kids growing up-
We listen wisely to the elderly who say these are the best years you will live.
But we let the shuffle change our outlook sometimes-
Instead of the opposite- letting us, rearrange that shuffle...

We need to get off the auto-pilot.
We need to re-focus so that
we are present, and able to enjoy all that comes our way-
If a mom can wake up, reminding herself, there days are limited and on loan
to us, I bet it
could make a huge difference on how easily she becomes frustrated
with the list in front of her that she sometimes thinks will never be done.
If she thought of how fast life has gone already, it may just may allow her to
enjoy her circus, that much more.

Having eight kids, doesn't make me an expert by any means...it really is just
having done
it eight times, and maybe having a bunch more experiences to talk about-
I'm not a pro or know it all, but I feel the heart of all us mommas when it comes to
wanting to
do the best I can, in the most important job I could ever be given.

But I do have a lucky streak besides having eight healthy, sweet kids-
I was given this little token of finding it easy to make my days fun and involve
everyone
in this amazing life I get to live-
I've always been good at huggin insanity, making things into memories and not
sweating the small stuff....
Which is probably what led to wanting a big family, and why I love doing a
mommy blog.

I have met so many moms that find that hard, and I hope to help (even in a small way)
in that area...
In fact, (as corny as it sounds), my dream is that my little stories or writings, can not
only make
you laugh, (because that's the most important lesson of all) but maybe
change the things you feel are holding you back, from
having more fun in your life...

We all have our areas-
Things we could teach someone, and the things we
could use ideas for.
And all of us, an outlook that is realistic and true.

We are guaranteed to hit icebergs, hellooo....it is a promise.
And our kids are going to have kids, and they will too...it's called life.
But it is up to us, to adjust our sails and upon choppy waters, still enjoy our ride.

The best memories we can create, ones that will forever stick out in our minds,
are times when we probably will have had no plan.
There was no worry, because there was no expectation.
Try and make a lot of those-it is freeing.
Have days when you say, lets just go with the flow, and see what happens...

God wants this to be the ride of your life....so let it be.
We have no hand in how fast the years go-
But we can make the best of the days, that lead us up to them....

Hugs! :)

NEVER GROW UP

2011-04-12T08:22:00.000-04:00

I am a sap, so freaking emotional-and really, reallyy, try to untie these "apron strings" of
mommy hood a little at a time, so I am not in a mental institution once all my kids
are grown.
A few weeks ago, at Lexi's Sr Banquet, they did a slide show with all the pictures us
moms and dads sent in through the years, to this song, Never Grow Up.
I hadn't heard it before but it was sooo beautifully done and went so well with the ideas
that sweet Taylor Swift sings about.
The innocent laughter, never having been burned....just wanting them to stay this little....
What a wonderful view on childhood that we all surely feel for them---
I am holding on to every single second I have left of all my babies surrounding me...
Soooo hard to let them go......:*

Here it is.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDbFxAtNNnU

Hugs!

Bright Sunshiney Day :)

2011-04-11T12:04:00.000-04:00

The weather is one of the key factors in influencing your day.
It is proven, (by me), that if you open the front door, to birds
chirping, sun in the sky, and some
well-deserved mild weather, you are in for one great,
brand -new, day.
Watch the animals -as crazy as that sounds.
We were checkin out the squirrels and a little groundhog thingies
earlier, and they were running and chasing each other....
Just loving the day, for probably nothing more than what it is...
So get outside, breathe in some fresh air, and do something
with this gorgeous afternoon!
Theres a song from an awesome movie that talks about it-
I'm gonna find it-
Here it is,
Live like animals, "careless and freeeeeee"---

Off to the park!!!
Have a good one!!
(and yes, I'm a dork)

Hugs :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBn9JrQZ9KE

Hard Lessons

2011-04-08T10:16:00.002-04:00

I would say "life" throws many a thing at you, that are hard to explain.
Hard enough to explain to yourself, but then you become a mom, and feel the need,
or even desperately WANT, to have explanations....
Especially when it is posed as a question to you, and then wide eyed faces sit waiting, for
your miraculous wisdom to be worded just perfectly.

I remember feeling, and still do, that my mom was the most brilliant woman
that ever walked the earth.
And with that, no matter what was asked to her, the answers I would get left me with no
more questions, it just was....and I understood.
Then you become an adult and realize that so much of life is made up of the same
common components in most of us
Good intentions on your part, massive confusion at times, forgiveness, compassion,
wound up with a great, big bow of, sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.
All we can say, as their moms and dads during the "wondering why" stage, is to look for
a lesson, and to wait patiently for
the truth or reason.

My eighth grade daughter is learning that this week-due to some teenage drama at school.
Someone, told someone else, something else, and that someone, told someone else,
who told her about something she supposidly did..
And most importantly, it was damaging to her character....and that is
not okay with any of us Hales.
She came home and told the whole story-and my heart ached.
You don't want any negativity surrounding
your kids, and especially when it's a full out lie.
Without saying what the issue at hand was, she was blamed for something that
was done, ON THE WEEK SHE WAS HOME WITH THE STOMACH FLU!
Even more irritating? Girls are THE WORST!

I sat there trying to make sense of it but when Roman and I talked about it that
night, although visibly annoyed that anyone would say anything at all about his baby girl,
he added the three basic life concepts, like a freaking wall plaque.
YOU CANT CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE SAY,
AND YOU CANT CONTROL WHAT THEY THINK.
Followed up by,
THIS IS GETTING HER READY FOR THE REAL WORLD.

How sad but how true.
As we talked (Reilly and me), I tried to listen more than lecture.
It's the worst and I did share remembering all too well my middle school days,
and how certain girls there, were exactly like these-just wanting a story.
They wanted to have some sort of great thing, exciting to say, with
everyone's attention, if only for a minute.
And at just about any one's expense...almost picking people out of the air,
and many, many times, girls that
people seemed to like.
Not always out of jealousy but to start crap, making at least one negative
thing, to go along with her name.
I'm sure you all even remember the names of these girls, even to this day.

Reilly didn't defend herself during the briefing her friend gave her....just said she
couldn't believe that someone
would say that about her....
And some slight immaturity came my way while, I must admit, I wished she had gone up to the
two brats, and said how
amazing they must think she is-
Making things happen at school, from her bed ,while throwing up at home.
But that isn't her.

And since this was a "no explanation" situation, and more of a "these things happen for various
reasons" lecture, I couldn't even end it with, it will be over soon.
Because even as adults, just when you think you have passed into the end zone,
and scored that touchdown of "womanhood", it can still rear it's ugly head.
Some people will just always have something to say....and we, as human beings,
and now even adults,
have no hand in what those around them, will believe or relay to others.
We can say, who cares, one million, five hundred times, but if it isn't true, it never
feels good.
Even if you are a confident person who isn't gonna lose sleep over it.
Women more than men, just have so many opinions-and many times are so
insecure with either their
own lives or themselves, it really does give them a feeling of self satisfaction I guess.

This life has so many layers, divots, boundaries, lines of personal space, along with
maybe a few areas marked, DO NOT ENTER.
Kids are usually that area- the BEWARE OF DOG section-
I can handle most of everything- but DO NOT hurt hearts.
Much different to me is the drama that is "every day", or discipline, etc-
We tend to steer far far away from the NOT MY KID parents-
More likely to blame ours first,
because we want them to be different than a lot of them.
I don't care if something is "being done" or considered "acceptable", I want
my kids to rise above the garbage that is handed to them.
Just because something may be legal, doesn't mean it moral...or in any way, okay to be, or do.
Whether it's teenage issues, adult issues, all the way to our government.

Reilly is learning her first lesson in character building, the concept of true friends, and what
choices she may make in a different position one day.
She will see how quickly conclusions are come to, and how fast reputations can
be impacted by just one simple sentence that isn't true.
And although all of this is super common during the school yrs, it is the first written
thing on her life's list
that will make her who she will become as a woman.
Not to be corny, but it's true-
As annoying as it was to have those specific negative girls we all grew up with,
the awesome thing about it is, they're figured out pretty fast.
And even better? They helped mold us into the women we become.
You just have to hang in until then.

Hard lessons are just that...hard.
There's not much worse than someone
who has a great heart with kind intentions, and then marked with an X, with wrong ones.
But opening that confidence to the truth, is so important.
And as long as our kids know who they are, it's
only a matter of time, until others figure it out.
The nay- sayers will always be heard the loudest, but then they go home.
And they're alone.

Life has a way of always working out-
And like we said to Ry, God is a fair man, and He will, in His time, clear your
name, and let you shine.

Have a great day with whatever lesson you (or your kids) are learning :)

Hugs :)

FROM HEAVEN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

2011-03-30T13:52:00.002-04:00

If you have ever lost a loved one, and had someone get married soon after, you know how
emotional a time that is for everyone...
I was the maid of honor for my sister Stacey's wedding and it was the most amazing,
most beautiful day!!
The only thing that could have made it any more perfect, would be having our
mama and sister there!!
My mom's best friend read a poem I wrote, about what I hope to be true...

FROM HEAVEN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

Excitement, happiness, every single bells been rung
Signs throughout the heavens, a celebrations soon to come.
Most angels start to congregate, whispering of who it could be
Someones loved ones getting married
With pure delight, they wait to see.

Peering down through all the clouds, all are patient with a smile
Soon one angel gets the spotlight, as their earthly loved one walks the aisle.
The bride stands before the alter, they lift her veil of lace
In the church the people smile, as they see her blushing face.
Tonight, two precious angels, feel the glow and fill with tears
They slowly step aside, all know now who's weddings here.

This time the bride is Stacey, radiant and full of bliss
But on earth there's a mom and sister, that today are truly missed.
Missed for the things they'd say today, would we all be one big mess?
Would they cry with us beforehand, would they love the wedding dress?
What would they think of Mike, the man that Stacey gets to marry?
Wouldn't it be lovely, to have just one more picture of our family?

The bride and groom hold hands, and vow to live a life of love
To appreciate the gifts God gives, even smallest from above.
The church fills with applause, and of course it carries
And the heavens fill with joy, as the earthly sister marries.

When you lose someone so close, the thought that you just never fathom
Is that God still keeps them near, you just cannot imagine.
They still share in all the joy and the wonders you are given
Even though you are on earth, and they are up in heaven.

For no distance is too far, no universe too wide
For a bond of family unity to ever possibly divide.
God will always let us love, even when he calls us home
To cherish what we had here, whether young, or fully grown.

So today, your wedding day, feel the close bonds and the love
From the families and the friends, in this room and up above.
Know that those not here are celebrating, but today, up with the Lord
And the journey they all took to him, is our greatest reward.
Make the most of even simple things that will surround you in your life
Feel blessed for every day you have, to spend as man and wife.

Hugs!

ANOTHER DAY!

2011-03-29T09:22:00.000-04:00

We should all remember, we have a brand new day.
A new start, no matter what you are thinking, worrying about, or trying to get done.
Anything can take place, or happen, to change the course of our day, week, year, or maybe lifetime.
We were not promised this, but received it...some did not.
Make the most of your coffee, your drive, your friends, your family.
Smile, at even the thought, that you have more time to see more things through-
Be happy and blessed to have a life, whatever it may be, with promise...
The promise of a new day-----

Hugs!

OUR VIDEO DIARY

2011-03-26T16:23:00.002-04:00

Well, we are home.
We are back to the swing of things, well, trying to be. :)
It just may take another week to feel AMAZING! :)

"Stepping outside your comfort zone" is not easy, but it drives the force
inside of you, to do what you sometimes need (or want) to do, with some extra courage!

Since I left everybody discussing that, I figured my "documentary" of
OUR ADVENTURE TO ENGLAND-would focus on that theme. :)
Cause we will all have that choice throughout our lives.

For me this time, it was a trip-
I am not good at leaving, but once there, was so glad I made the decision I did-
to spend time with a special lady ! (who looks wonderful I must say!)
Her outlook is all she needs and she is teaching everyone around her that the human
spirit is an awesome thing!!

We saw beautiful places, tried amazing food, and although jet lagged-had some great,
and sometimes hysterical memories, to hold onto forever.
Some of my trip wouldn't download, (of course, some of the funnier ones)
but I do have some to share if you're bored-
Didn't post all the sightseeing, you would have been here forever, just us on "the road"-
And excuse the doubles-my computer is acting up and copied a few twice,
not letting my delete right now-

Finally, I must warn you, the clips you are about to see, could not be edited.

You may want to have young children leave the room due to scenes of deliriousness,
exhaustion, and annoying laughter.

Enjoy the show!!

So, remember, just because you are freaking out about doing something-

doesn't mean, you won't be glad you did it!

"It isn't brave, if you aren't scared."

Live life being brave.

Hugs!

Outside Your Comfort Zone

2011-03-15T14:55:00.001-04:00

So I'm nervous, but excited.
Overwhelmed with worry and the unknown.
But know I will have fun.
Having to let go of my "life's control" but knowing it will be good for me to do so.
I am going to England.
This Friday-
Yes, I said ENGLAND.
And yes, my stomach has had butterflies since the day my dad called me to go.

My dad, met his "lady friend" a few years ago on the Internet.
They met playing some game, and connected right away with the common
ground of losing a child at the same young age.
Gillian's story, so similar, had added grief, losing her only other child, a son, and then
her husband. Unbelievable.
They would go on to talk and talk until they met on "holiday" and within months, had
started a back and forth lifestyle.
Gill comes here, every few months for six weeks at a time, and has brought a lot of
love to the family...
Recently, a new struggle, advanced cancer, to one of the most wonderfully courageous
women this world has seen.
And with the same grace and bravery as she had before, she holds her head up now, just
the same.

So with that, I instantly become the mommy-jeckel and hyde.
I am thrilled to spend some special time with her,
but having a slight struggle with um, well, going. :)
But as with anything, it always seems to be hard to leave your "norm", so I am putting
on my big girl bra AND panties, and diving in.

I don't do well leaving...not the older ones, who frankly could probably
use the break from me, but from the little ones? Very tough...I get anxious...
I start worrying.
I have a comfort zone-and it's here...changing things up is not comfortable. I need to be
surrounded by the craziness-it's who I am.

I am bringing Lily. She's so little and will totally brighten the mood.
It'll give Gillian a kid fix (all of them love and miss
her so) and help me to not be AS anxious.

So as the day seems fast approaching, I try and get organzied.
I'm catching up with the endless laundry nightmare, paying all the bills,
highlighting the calendar, and writing notes to each teacher of advanced
apology, in case no one matches for next six days in school.
And Roman? His job is to put me at ease.

God bless the man, seriously.
I am a lunatic, when it comes to some things-
And while, through the years, he has become much more sensitive then he
started out, he is still a man.
And for being one of those, he is pretty good, most of the time, at calming me down.

One of them, being I need to go.
Anyone can say that, but the truth comes out in how you try and make your plan work.
Neither of us really do away without the other or the family-so since this was a last minute idea,
we scrambled how it would work, with everyone always being all over the place.
But we both knew we wanted to find a way.
Can you guys make it without me??
He convinced me the world would not end.
And from there, how great it will be for me to go hang with Gill, my dad, Lily and my sister.
An adventure, that will be difficult to start, but rewarding, and fun, and maybe never again to happen.

Second, not to worry.
I got this, he said...and we both laughed but he kept repeating it.
"We will have a great time!"
MAWA wrestling tourny, (he and Gabe are doing it-), and he will bring all the kids to
watch TEAM HALE compete.
They'll surely have no routine, and just fly by the seat of their pants every day....
No brainer, could have called that one. lol
He's gonna take Mason to see a karate school, and they're gonna go on hikes back
in the woods, all of them. Bonfires-
With no plan whatsoever-
Dream -life for children: forts, ice cream, dirty faces w/no washcloths coming at them....

But most of all, my four year old-
I know it will bring Gill smiles but for myself, I would have nervous times 100, if I were leaving
all these babies and a nine month old...she's too young !!!
Having said that, I also have Reese, who is with me all day, how was this gonna work?
If I could have brought her, I would of, but she's too old to qualify for lap baby :(
Believe me, I tried.
But this too, was actually put to rest before I even started to vent with concern.

Ro has a sweet and completely different relationship with all of our kids-
Each one, with different personality, every parent knows, brings a whole different
relationship to you and that specific one..
And for some reason, since Reese was veryyyy little, Roman and she have been like Velcro.
It is hysterical, (and adorable) to watch them.
When he gets home she yells the loudest and every single night, they get out the cookie sheets
and whip the whole family up cookies.
Theres just this crazy little banter they do-too funny.

As soon as we discussed the trip, one of the first things Roman talked about was not
working that week.
He said that he planned on doing paper work, ordering
and dropping by the job sites....
He wasn't going to work the "normal" labor so he could have "daddy time".
My heart melted. I didn't say it.
He did.
I'll bring Reese to Home Depot, and we'll stop for Ice Cream, then we'll go home and
do our thing, I cracked up.
His mom even offered to come help-but he told her, they had a daddy plan-
He was excited to have these days with them alone....

Right hand man, yes, annoying, enough times that I can list on college ruled paper, sure.
But such a good partner with this kind of thing-
Not one that just does what he needs to do as a man, husband, father...
But one that goes that step that we women are always so happy to see-
A man that wants to do things-one that loves to do them.
One that never needs to be asked to, because its already desired-

Yes, my tummy is gonna be in knots while I take off, land, and get where I'm going...
But if I am to step out of my comfort level, I am so thankful to have a safety net, at home,
while I'm away.

Think of my Friday at 7:33 pm, as I depart on this unknown "journey" of mine-
Looking forward to hugging Gill, and getting some English coffee :)
And then skyping my kids, seeing the falling down house in the background, and
how things go with Daddy in charge.

Have you stepped outside your comfort zone? (this is my first time)
It's probably good for us, and the others, in our lives...
Maybe they'll see how much we really do on a regular basis? Maybe not (uhoh)...
And maybe, it's good for your "right hand" person-
To take the wheel and steer for a few days.
Hopefully they'll see what a great team you make and how much that good driving of
yours does for the family
If not, (sry about that), you'll still have one thing-
Some freaking great stories to hear, from your kids, when you get back, for days to come....
.
Wish me luck :)
Hugs!

FIND YOUR WINGS

2011-03-09T08:26:00.000-05:00

I know I have shared this on Facebook, but rarely do you find a song that says EVERYTHING.
This song has every word, that any parent would speak, and want their kids to know.
Gave me goosebumps and tears...and pretty much everything else.

"I'll have tears as you take off, but I'll cheer as you fly."

Enjoy!
Hugs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4NS7gChzvk

My Letter In Outrage-

2011-03-08T10:40:00.002-05:00

Okay, so anyone that knows me knows I RARELY get riled up and go on defense.
Although I love sharing our passion for family, I, in no way, just as anything else, think
it's the road for everyone.
I am a believer, just as the occupation you choose, you create the family you desire.
Having said that, as I do not preach to you to follow my lead, I do get a little spunky when I
feel disrespected.
With age, you do get confident, but I came across an OUTRAGEOUS article that was just too much!
Wish I had it here, but I will share my letter back to the author.
Yes, I replied!
He made my "Target brand" panties, bunch up.... a lot.

Mr Woodgate,
I was online this morning reading through some fascinating articles on large families.
I love searching for people like me, that have gone this route, and share their outlooks, advice, etc
on a similar lifestyle.
It was there that I came across your article Fruitful Extinction, and although I didn't read any others
from you, it was extremely upsetting to me.

I cannot believe, with how things are out there-in a world where so many are stressed to the max,
on depression medication, or searching for the meaning of life, a large family is a unbelievable concern
to you, and as you put it, the country.
The idea of taxing as punishment, the idea that we will run out of resources due to them
having a fourth, or fifth child? You have got to be kidding.
If you are lecturing on the men and women that are many times in discussion, who populate
and continuously use government funding to "survive", that is a single issue up for debate.
Of course most of the US would concur, it is not fair to expect taxpayers to flip the bill for
anything you cannot afford, or provide a decent life for.
(And from how I read it, that IS NOT who you are speaking of entirely because that I see a point on.)
But two people, that simply want to, (and can afford to), surround themselves with (maybe)
more children than the average person, raising them, to be good, productive, members of society?
What then?
In that instance, they will surely give back more than they'll take from the earth,
I can promise you that.

Only today, are we to find families chasing the corporate ladder until ten pm every day,
on their cell phones and laptops at the park, not even making eye
contact with their kids on their "time off".
Then say its "for them", to be able to "provide a good life", ACCEPTABLE.
Only in a world like today, are we to find the OBSESSION with Hollywood-
Their three nannies at home, RAISING their kids, so they can jet around the world
(and still complain), ACCEPTABLE.
Only in a world like today is, (in many families)-status, above everything else in life, yup, ACCEPTABLE.

THESE, sir, are taking away the "quality" from our lives.

Like I said, I didn't read on.
Maybe you did write articles on the unbelievable shift in priority that this country has seen
in recent years.
The fact that somewhere in the last few, family became second notch to "lifestyle".
On lists, hung opon refrigerators across the world, children are next to, and sometimes
sadly, placed underneath, advancement and material things...you cannot deny it.
I'm not saying this has anything to do with how much you may LOVE your family, but the idea of
truly sacrificing, to make it first in your day, is slowly dying.
How can family really come into (any part of ) what you see wrong right now?
No matter the size.

I almost worry about those that understand all of the above, but then need explantion for
why someone could feel that same fulfullment, with children?
You will never find a person pressed for explaining the desire for another new car, but this is
somehow different.
Why is that?
Maybe to us, you're the strange ones.
We don't understand how you wouldn't love it....but we don't say that, because who
really cares?
But how sad that it is so often not understood.

I would be interested in your view on divorce.
Is that okay to do 3, 4 ,5 times?
Because that has too, become acceptable.
But kids, well, "they use too much of our oxygen".

And one more thing-
Maybe you did, but have you sat down with a few large families?
Because I'd like to address the "baby addiction" part of your "research".
Now here, I would be an expert right?
Can't say I know many moms that would say the feeling that you described of "cozy baby",
goes away once they learn to walk.
I will admit, that newborn feeling is like no other, but watching them grow, loving them,
and seeing in the amazing transformation into adults, is just as rewarding.
I myself, have never met a single woman who gave birth, just for those first few months of infant
holding, but you took the polls.

In closing, the words "go forth and populate" are never going anywhere.
They can never be taken back or revised, so I don't know who you think you are.
God wants this world to have good people.
He wants the love of a baby in homes, and in my humble opinion,
I think with each birth, no matter how many you have been through, it makes
HIS love, that much stronger in your life.
There are many examples of families that exist today, of every size, doing it right, with a few
(or a bunch), and there are some, no matter the size, doing it wrong.
A chapter on HOW DID WE GET HERE?
The crazy messed up world, is not due to parents wanting more kids, it's due to selfishness,
greed and control.
I think even people living under rocks could recognize that one.

An opinion lumped toward one specific kind of family, (or anything for that matter), is amazing
to me.
I have some really cool little guys at this house, part of varsity team sports at school and helping
The Salvation Army.
My kids volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters, and have done things involved with the troops
overseas.
If you were to only see my family at Christmas Eve Service last week, Mr Woodgate,
you may have had, even the smallest glimpse, into "our idea" of family.
The non-judging, busy, yet simple, dream of ours.
One that has humility, to fend off all the Nay-Sayers, that make you feel, for a second here
and there, you should explain your reasons for having them.
One that has compassion, which to me is the one quality that will guarantee success.
And one, where there is promise and love.

You can read me all of your statistics from books you have studied, or charts
and graphs you have drawn up.
You can even tell me what, along with other countries, you, or anyone else thinks my family
should be.
But at the end of the day, when the world is quiet, and you close your door at night,
what is there?
What makes you smile and look at your life?
Only blessings.

Maybe if you had more of an open mind, you'd be a little happier in life.
You sound very judgemental, very angry...that's not good.
Maybe you can take a nice, long, look into the moms and dads, that you
yourself, called "selfish"....
We find it perfectly acceptable to be called Crazy, Insane, Mental...but Selfish?
That is the word?
Wow.
I think even after all your jet setting , bigtime interviews, and knowledge of the "real world",
you really may need to get out more.

I will pray for you,
Jennifer Hale

Hugs!

Laundry Shoot

2011-03-07T08:48:00.000-05:00

We have a laundry shoot.
It is an amazing creation.
Really, especially one for an insane family like ours, that laundry is beyond
out of control, and that is even an understatement.
Clothes are, and probably always will be, the toughest thing to manage in a
family of ten.
I have been close to caught up- eleven times- as a mom.
Yes, I counted and yes, I am proud.
But Murphy's Law runs ramped around here, and each of those times, someone
either peed or puked that night, which made that blue ribbon feeling, end
within hours.
The shoot has become a friend of mine-helping to deter the floor, or corner
of the room stations, to which most children's outfits, magnet their things to.
Having said this, why or why do my children MAGNET THEMSELVES to the shoot?
Yes! My boys go down, PHYSICALLY. And think nothing of it.
I was in the office, the first time I realized, and remember hearing laughing.
Anyone with boys knows that is the first warning sign...hysterical giggling...it's
not a good thing.
I ignored it for a few minutes, and then it was followed up by a few bangs.
"What is going on?!!!" No answer....
Second warning...shady.
Then I heard "Whoooooo"!!!!
The boys sent my youngest one down the shoot!! Seriously?
Did anyone even research this beforehand? I'm not kidding-
Did they realize that the slide of theirs, actually goes three floors?
It starts on the 2nd floor hall but has to go past the first floor and then
the basement?
Did anyone look to make sure there weren't any nails sticking out in the
tunnel of fun?
Did they check to see even what they were going to land in at the bottom?
It's not like I have this big fluffy pillow waiting for the jeans.
Boys are insane.
I will have so many stories when this life of mine is coming to an end...
These little guys that one day will be men, will be laughing their butts off,
and probably still be crazy.
Gotta love the "see what happens" attitude of the male gender....
It starts early and continues on....
The "We'll worry when we need to", just like their dads.
Have a good day!
Hugs :)

Happy "Heavenly" Birthday.

2011-03-05T15:27:00.001-05:00

Nine years ago today, I lost my best friend.
Someone I never knew life without, and someone I always thought I'd have.
My little sister, by three years, the ones that could make me laugh harder than anyone else
I have ever met, still.
Kelly was diagnosed with cervical cancer at age 23, after finding out she was pregnant.
The meeting was plain and simple. Hard to listen to, and like a movie.
And as many questions as my entire family had, (we walked in like one, big,
crazy mob), I don't think she asked a single one.
When the option of terminating came into the conversation, it was dismissed.
But continuing with the pregnancy would surely create the "unknown".
Unknown speed of spreading, (its slow growing but fast moving) and unknown
stage at the end of the nine months.
With ending the pregnancy, being so early on, it would
guarantee a fighting chance, chemo and radiation could begin.
"This baby is my guardian angel, I would never know about this without them."
That is all she said.
Noah Kelland States was born Feb 12, 2000 at 3 lbs 10 oz.
Kelly's "baby house" was removed from her body and radiation followed.
We had a few great months, an awesome
vacation, and many "just like old times" days which gave us promise.
Then the cancer returned.
I watched the girl that echoed my dreams of raising our kids together and
maybe starting a business as moms, turn thinner and in horrible pain.
And when the holidays of 2001 came around, I knew she wasn't well.
Noah turned two, and the hospital staff threw a party for him.
Kelly smiled as he made his rounds, through each patients room, in his wagon.
A temporary escape, if only for an hour, of the illness.
Then, a few wks later, she fell into a deep sleep.
I had no idea that those times visiting would be the last ones we would
laugh about eating Swedish fish with a
feeding tube or bringing her cool ranch Doritos at 10:00 pm.

The end of the month came and my mom called one Sunday. It was time.
We called my sister Stacey, who was at school in Colorado, to meet us.
We were planning some "girl time", for the last time.
For seven day exactly, my mom and two sisters, spent every single minute together in
Kelly's hospital room.
Although she is "resting", the nurses swore she could hear us.
We gave her manicures, shaved her legs, watched Judge Judy.
Even busted on this one woman that Kel couldn't stand, who was always stopping on the annoy us.
We told stories and said prayers, and read her favorite highlighted verses from the Bible.
And that next Monday, with all of us there, we turned to Lexi who was telling a joke, and my
sister let go of her pain.
Like I had heard my mom whisper to do, she saw her light and followed it.
My sister, Kelly Leigh Wylie, was gone on March 5, and our lives will
forever be changed.

Although THAT day seems like yesterday, it feels like forever that I've
talked to her.
All she ever wanted to do was be a mom.
Bake her unbelievable chocolate chip cookies and wash a t-ball uniform.
But for some reason, God's plan was not for her to live here,
but to teach others FROM her days of living.
We helped my mom go through her baby books for the service, with the highest hope that yes,
people would be sad, but even more, find a message.
A message of hope.
A testament to a mother's unending love, and ultimate sacrifice.
It was more than we could have ever hoped for.
Every tear with glistened with a glimmer of light, I swear it was.
A light only lit through a story, and that, with one important line. Live for today.
There was a letter read, that none of us but my mom had ever heard.
It was a note that Kelly had written to someone that was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.
The most amazing letter that I have ever heard and in her words, describing her
outlook and journey that this woman was about to begin.
It was full of hope, and although aware things aren't in her control, offered so many refreshing
words of encouragement.
She mentioned that although she would have loved to have a big family
like her sister, it was okay, she had a beautiful little boy and her life was full.
This loss was two fold.
On one hand, here I sat, over night, having lost someone I talked to
every day of my life.
I called her a few times each days, our kids were supposed to live down
the street from each other, and we had a whole life planned out, she was gone.
Then there was the other side of my heart..
My role as a mom, and watching MY mother have to bury her child.
There is not a doubt in my mind I couldn't have made it through all of that without her.
But I CANNOT IMAGINE, her loss, from that side.
And yet, every single day, she checked on us, talked about God's plan and became a
fountain of strength for all around her.
We has so many talks about the "miracle" that was going to take place.
And then it didn't.
Mom would continuously say God has given her legs that aren't collapsing like she always
imagined they would.
And being blessed with a Teflon shield, that is keeping her "basket case" away.
Then reminding us, that through her ultimate sadness, we need to remember, children are on
loan from the Lord.
They are His, and he can call them back when He says it's time.
She cried and cried, but that bond with God, made her a pillar for all of us.
She was unreal.
"Dear Noah" letters were created. Sent to him from many people, to tell him how these friends knew
her, and some stories about things they shared through they years.
I requested "over 21" ones from her closest
peeps....
I want the juicy stuff, for when he's grown, so he can see the "Friday night" mom of his.
Love it.

It is so important that those lost young, or anyone for that matter, get to leave having made
a change, even a bit, in people.
I love telling parts of her story...it's too long, and emotional to hit everything, but bits here and there.
I love talking about the great person she was and even
more, how many have been touched by her.
Maybe appreciating things more, or maybe not getting as easily stressed, even
just here and there.
I remember the nurses that she grew to know, and then one day, towards the end, none of them
being around.
I thought that was strange until one of our favorites came in and explained that
they all had a meeting to talk to a therapist.
They were her age, and become emotionally affected by this "journey" of hers,
how they had grown to feel about her and the family.
We were speechless.

If you have ever had this kind of loss, young or old, it is so important to be okay with
however it affects you.
I tried for months to not have my meltdowns of crying in front of my kids.
I used to hide in the laundry room and just bawl and bawl on the dirty clothes.
Then my husband pulled me aside on Christmas Eve, during the ugliest of all,
and said, IT'S OKAY. THIS HAPPENED.
YOU CAN CRY AND THEY WILL HAVE QUESTIONS AND YOU CAN
ANSWER THEM. IT IS LIFE.
I took classes, and if you don't mind snot running down your face for ninety minutes, it is rewarding.
No one stares and no one judges.
People with broken hearts are wonderful friends.
I was taught, what I still say today, about having to create a "new normal".
And your goal is to one day, to get out albums, or home movies, and be able to watch your
loved one with a smile and teary eyes.

You can talk about life lessons every night of the week.
What you learn from the economy, less money, or Charlie Sheen's latest rants.
But at the end of the day, in families across the world, people are taken from those that love them.
Someone will now live, on a daily basis, without that smile, that story teller, that friend, that child.
And just as they have to alter their thinking, take from it, and pick up to continue on, you can too.
You can live with a head held higher, or hugging a baby tighter.
You can try your best to not lose your cool with the electric bill for them.
Or maybe even not complain about having to wash those mud stained baseball pants.
Thinking only of my sister, who's dream that was to do.

In honor, we chose to do the best we can, for someone who we respected,
or loved, or maybe even just heard about.
Let us all wake up feeling a little more lucky, and fall asleep a little more wise.
Set in your mind that yes, some days it will be hard seeing that tornado come through
but know it is put there for a purpose. It will make us stronger in the end.

Now I have two people to honor.
My mom's name was called more recently, opening the gates for one beautiful reunion.
Stacey and I spoke at her service (just like Kelly's) and my son Gavin had the words of
a grown man.
He told me how cool it was that while Nana was here, she could only see
two of her children for the last years. But now she can see all three of us again.

Live a life that would make those, who may not have been finished yet, smile.
Not only is it a tribute, but an antidote to anything negative.
Family, friends, addictive spirit and zest for living.
Do it for yourself, do it for your family, do it for them.
Live for today.

I miss you Kelly, every single day.

Noah is the token from you, for this earth, and will forever remind us all of what you truly stood for, love.

Hugs!

HE STOLE MY WORDS!

2011-03-02T12:10:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of repeating in my life.
A lot of saying the same things over, and over, and over again.
There's also many a day, the sound of my own voice is annoying.
Some days I try and even limit myself because lets be honest, my children
would love it, and duh,
my husband would too.
The whole world could use a rest from it I'm sure, but don't get used to it :)
Nothings better than a mom, or wife, that does everything for you but doesn't
ask anything (or yell at anything) in return.

Having said that besides having to repeat myself, nothing irritates me more
than when I say something, and days later, my husband says it, taking 100%
credit for the thought.
It's one thing if it was something that was just simply wise.
But the days I tend to be amazing, which is just so dang often, it is worse.
You just can't steal something, even if it's someone that lives with you, and put
YOUR name on it!

Have you ever come up with a great idea?
One that you are just like, oh my gosh, this could make millions?
Or have thought about something in your life that just made so much sense
the way it came
across in your brain?
You make it into a funny story or write down something
meaningful, really are proud of your maturity?
So what do you do? You go to your husband and share it, right?
Then days later, when you think all is normal-he just walks in the room,
and without getting a stool for his soapbox, he says it, and of all people, TO YOU!
Like he heard it on Good Morning America or something?
Then he stands, chest out, like he is freakin (MR) Maya Angelou.

Well, that was my day yesterday. My husband STOLE, (in broad daylight), some
things that I said weeks ago, and totally believes HE thought them up on his own.
What's worse is he REALLY DOES NOT remember me saying these things and was
so dang proud of himself.
I know a mature wife would have blown it off, but, well, hello, that's just not my style..
Instead, here I am writing on my blog....

So here is a little note to my friend....

To my dearest husband,
I love you.
I want nothing more than to grow all the rest of my hair gray, alongside
your "invisible" ones.
I know I talk a lot, but if you would listen harder, it would help you to remember
what I said.
And when I say "harder", I, in no way mean, the way you quickly (and oh so cleverly), rewind, after I ask-"Were you listening, then what did I say?"
I know you secretly LOVE the way I ramble.
You're cute when you try to say you don't.
But it isn't fair to take pieces of conversation, and use them, like you
were the writer, as your own...
I will show you and help you guide your creativity, so that you have your
own words to tell others.
You can do it, big man!
And I will help you. After we have a nice, long, talk tonight. :)

Love you,
Jenny

HUGS!

What More Do You Want From Me?

2011-02-28T10:44:00.000-05:00

This is the first chapter in my book, that I am taking my dandy old time writing.
I will try to have it finished by the Spring of 2089! So look out for it-
Just wanting to share! :)

"The S on your cape is fading Jen." My friend told me once.
Huh? What? It is not! Not for one day!
What are you talking about? What are you trying to say?
Why are you looking at my cape anyway?
The S will NEVER fade! It won't lose an ounce of color, ever.
It will shine bright for all to see, forever and ever.
End of discussion, do you hear me? That's it.

After all, isn't that perfection? Isn't that what most of us moms in the world try to be?
Maybe not 100%, but as dang close to it as possible. Don't lie. Supermom with a cape.
Not just any cape either. A perfect one, ironed and pressed, blowing beautifully in the wind.
A cape almost as nice as our blown out hair and adorable outfit.
The one that fits perfectly, I might add, on my rockin Zumba lovin, yoga doing, flat stomached
body of mine. Um, yea, that's me. Ya know.
Did I mention that I walk this bod around an (always) clean house, and my kids are never dirty?
I know, aren't I amazing? I am also always organized.
I could tell you my tricks right now but I will be volunteering at school many days.
I will call you back though because I don't fall behind on things.
Nor do I procrastinate, forget about anything, or am outdone.

That is my job. It's actually the first thing every day on my to-do list. Not to drop a ball.
After that comes, don't forget red shirt day at school, or be without a checkbook at the dentist.
Followed up by noting all sports schedule changes, spelling bees, piano or what I'm doing for dinner.
My list can be endless, but it is life, every mom's life, and we handle it was grace, every single day.

Okay, stop the insanity. It's a new day-let's get real and start REAL-ITY.
And to be real, there is one thing that we all need to REALize.
YOU ARE ONE PERSON.
ONE PERSON WITH ONE BRAIN.
YOU HAVE TWO HANDS, AND TWENTY DIRECTIONS TO GO.
And as one individual, being realistic, we can only do so much that can only go so far.
Life is unknown, but we are not. We are AMAZING. But not perfect- and there it all begins.

A long time ago, there was a meeting that took place.
It was headed up by a man who stood up wanting to speak to every woman alive at the time.
So they gathered.
This speech lasted hours, speaking of all the unbelievable qualities that this sex was given.
It used words that had never been used before.
Describing supernatural things, that they would see us do and things WE would
make happen-within months, days, even minutes.
It talked extensively about new scientific data on moms, revealing a never-before concept.
That we were, well, perfection.
From there a huge uproar took place.
Mothers, because of the pedestal we were placed on, were expected to be exactly that, and so it was.
We believed it until the day that one woman
finally did the unthinkable.
Although she was unnamed in the report, sources close to her say, she was from our area,
and not granting interviews at this time.
Details aren't entirely clear, but word is, one morning, (drum roll please), she messed up.
And then, hold your panties, she brushed herself off, and said,
YA KNOW WHAT? I'M STILL HERE!
I'M STILL AWESOME.
AND IT"S ALL STILL OKAY.
The crowds erupted.
The scientists then went back to their study.
They dug deeper into their ancient experiments and soon realized there was a mistake.
Looking back, the data showed these unspeakable qualities, only came from lab rat moms.
Here, after all this time, it was rodents that didn't mess up, the ones that never tripped and fell.
All these millions of years, we lived a lie.
The news was joyous.
And men and women alike, gave her a standing ovation, and champagne.

It's time to talk yourself down off your personalized ledge of imperfection.
Even is super powers existed, if you were truly honest, you would probably be pretty darn proud
of yourself (even without ever using them).
How you're put together, how others see you, and how many things you have crossed
off your list by six pm? Come on.
You are worth far more than you ever give yourself credit for.
All that we are in charge of making happen, and the volume of greatness and love we hold
in our hearts, every single minute?

We do all we can, with the time we have, and the ability that we hold.
We do our best and that will
forever be good enough-
Say no to more, say no to guilt, say no to any voice that is telling
you it isn't enough-

Which leads me to the most spoke hourly phrase of my day, and what you need to say,
anytime the amount you do is questioned-
What more do you want from me? :)

Princess For The Day.

2011-02-25T09:41:00.000-05:00

"Can I get an "Oh, YEAAHhhh-"
"It's my birthdayyy, gonna partty, like it's my birthhhdayyy-"
What is better than your birthday?
A day all your own, where you are it, baby.
It is all about you, the star, which is, come on, one of the best things ever.
(1) my family (2) coffee (3) being all about me.

It only comes once a year, one out of 365 days.
It takes so long to get here
and is over before you get a chance to pee, twice.
So hello, whatttss up, mine is today.....holla!

Crazy as can be, the feeling of it stays the same, but some weird
things happen through the years, don't they?
Like things you noticed about "old" people when you were young.
But never thought you'd be there-
Number one- member how shocked you were when your parent, didn't
know for a second, how old they were turning?
When you asked them, and they were caught off guard, and had to
think for a minute...
How insane and unimaginable was that, that someone WOULD NOT
know how old they freaking were.
But every year, for the past few, I DID have to think about it.
"Well, let's see, I was 36 or wait, maybe I was thinking about that
being next year.
Okay, I was born in 73 and it's 2009" So let me minus twenty and add...." Please. IT'S INSANE.

This wasn't one of those years though...
I awoke to the sound of my husband's voice, "Let me look at you Jenny,
let me see what 38 looks like."
Whateverrr...don't bring me into your swamps of 41...
I still have quite a few years to be an senior citizen like you Roman. lol
So, here I am, old or not, enjoying the first hours of my
"Princess of the Day" and lovin' it.

The doorbell rang this morning, and Lexi's boyfriend and his little
brother came in, soaking wet from the rain, with a dozen Dunkin Donuts.
How sweet was that?
Everyone so far has woken up in a good mood, and only one shift
left of kids to get on the bus before I decide what to do as the star.
I AM NOT CLEANING that's for sure, because in fact, I am the princess.
(In case you forgot).
Oh, it will be time to check my Facebook soon.
The internet" house of love", where no
matter how many friends you have on there, you cannot NOT be
overwhelmed by the kindness,
(or just boredom on their part so they wrote to you), that
you are shown, as you turn a year older.
By 7 am, I already had almost 30 messages-thank you friends, thank you.
I will, yes I will, enjoy celebrating-right after I sweep up the 100
cheerios on the floor. :)

Another thing that's different?
How far you come from your younger years, with parties at each age or
needing to whip up the town?
Please, no surprises now...I'll be asleep by ten and everyone
will go home.
Now, I just want to chill with people I love, or maybe go to dinner
and a movie with the hubby, every so often.

But the biggest change has got to be, just wanting simplicity on our "special" day.
"Hey, can you guys not argue at all today, as my present?"
"Don't spend money, just make me a massage coupon."
"How about everybody just does their chores without needing to be reminded?"
Like you could ever, at nine years old, imagine a great birthday would be everyone in your family getting along, making hot chocolate and playing PAYDAY.
How life has changed.

We aren't going anywhere this year.
Roman told me he and the kids, wanted to pick up all my favorite
foods later today and grill on the deck.
(It's raining but supposed to be 55, so we are gonna be so cozy!)
I thought it sounded amazing.
A plan without my input...the best thing ever.
And I listened last night, as he and the little ones made me
a cake.
It sounded like it was going great until someone yelled that it was
exploding in the oven.
I snuck in and peeked, and it looked like the batter has a right arm hanging off the side.
Only my cake, would look like a mama with a little baby connected to it.

One more year down, and so many blessings-
With each passing of twelve months, more and more takes place.
Just as my Barbie Mansion amazed me at eight, I never would
have imagined my life would amaze me, ten fold, at thirty eight.
Birthdays definitely change through the years, but when you really think
about it, it's probably not because our expectations became any smaller.
I think it is simply because, our lives became bigger.

Hugs!
Love,
The Princess :)

In Between Seasons

2011-02-24T10:34:00.000-05:00

Hey guys-
I just wanted to say it is so crazy but I have NOTHING to do today.
NOTHING.
Well, not nothing..
I did have a dentist apt and I do have to run to the bank, but you know what I mean.
No deadlines, no, mom, you need to be at _ at _, and not a second late, or the president
will call you, type of trips.
No where to go, no one to drive, or drop off, or pick up.
No one has sports, or work.
Cheerleading has concluded, wrestling season for High School and the little guys, ended Saturday at 1:56, when we jumped in the van.
It always feels really weird.
I am the busy body lover, but every so often, especially in the evenings, its nice to
just chill with everybody.
Having said that, too much of it makes me figity, almost kind of dizzy
(which doesnt make sense, but
what do you want from me?)
I like to "jet set" around in my 15 passenger van...ya know, being cool.
What is next? Now where? Oh, I forgot about those things----
What can I make happen? How can I be proactive and amazing...lol
But around this time every year, and then in summer, there is a lull in insanity-
Usually a wk, maybe two, that sits between these two sports seasons-and I take full advantage of enjoying it!
What should I do?
Maybe shoot over to Old Navy and look at all their adorable
spring baby clothes?
Drive home without my cell ringing, and make a nice relaxing dinner?
Have my beer
at 5:01? Holla!
I'll let you know, (not that you really care, but I tend to flatter myself when excited)...
Have a great day everybody!
Hugs!

OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS! MY SON IS AT SCHOOL AND WANTS TO KNOW IF HE CAN STAY AFTER AND LIFT!!!!!!! And so is life........lol

THE BEST YOUTUBE VIDEO

2011-02-23T10:02:00.000-05:00

Once again, if you know me, I have posted this YOU TUBE video (or you've probably even watched
it yourself).
It is the most beautiful video-and shows what our world can scare you into being-or what you
can just chose to do, out of belief of what you WANT it to be :)
Enjoy :)
Hugs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Exercising? Ugh.

2011-02-22T13:07:00.000-05:00

I need to do it.
I need to motivate myself to do it, every day.
I need to wake up knowing it is the best thing for my energy level.
I need to wake up knowing it is the best thing for my body.
I need to greet it, at the same time in the morning, so that it becomes part of my schedule.
I need it to even THINK about getting in a bathing suit this summer.
I need to remember without it, the stretched skin that with each child, becomes an even bigger pile,
hanging here, will never deflate.
I need to remind myself that I am almost 38 and it's not going to disappear on it's own anymore.
I need to do this, so that my pants don't look like I have a muffin baking in the top part of them.
I need to WANT to do this!!!!!!
So why don't I????
Wish me luck!!!
Hugs :)

Got A Teen?

2011-02-21T08:35:00.003-05:00

Okay. Moodiness is surrounding me.
There is no escaping it. No one is helping to ease it.
It has invaded this house, and probably will not exit for the next eighteen years.
The rolling of eyes, the words that no matter what size, are exaggerated,
"But Moooooooommmmmmmm."
Even the way they walk in and out of the room you are in, like the weight of the world
has attached itself to their butts, and won't let go.
I know I was one, but forget how my parents reacted to all these antics of mine.
Maybe it's MY personality as a mom.
I mean, I tend to be sarcastic, and absolutely harassable.
So, (since my parents were mature), maybe I don't recall the comments that I make, having been said.
I'm sorry, it takes a lot, (and I mean a lot), of self control, to not react and say, exactly how you
feel they are acting. In fact, it takes a lot of control to not laugh in their face sometimes.
There are moments, that they are being totally serious, and I have just busted out hysterical.
You cannot use every ounce of your might, and hold it in....it just HAS to be a joke--the things they are describing.
Girls more than boys of course, with that example, but the insanity in totally different ways.
Anyone with sons or daughters, within this age bracket, is feelin me right now.
Their daily dose, sometimes more than others, depending on how lucky you are, is probably a little
gift from God.
It's helping ease your transition from addicted, to letting go.
His little creative concoction, that he gives each hormonally imbalanced teen, to make it a tad easier to
help untie the apron strings, a little at a time.
They can drive you so insane, that I have heard of parents, willing to let them leave for college at 15 1/2.
But so, is the circle of life.
Okay, so in this house we have three right now.
Three, out of whack, could snap at any second, kids, and they are all completely differently insane.
Our oldest Lexi, was never drama crazy.
Don't know if we lucked out with who she hung out with, but she is so much (and always has been)
like her father, who doesn't play that game, so I think it wouldn't have been her, no matter what.
She didnt have it in Ga, and we moved back to Pa her sophmore year, and she doesn't have it here.
She never needed to have the HOLLISTER clothing, always wanted to put stuff into her own style.
So nothing with that dept either. She's always been where she says, calls when she's not coming home.
We've always called Lexi, a great, "pave the way and get us into this parenthood journey", kid.
Having said that, she tends to have issues in the "non motivated" category.
And has a room that a pig sty would win a blue ribbon before.
The hormones tend to show, with her when she is "sooo annoyyyyyyed."
which can be all day or simply, ten minutes.
Her boyfriend hears it every time he walks by, or sits down.
We are all annoying-and you probably would be to her, too.
You will also (again, like her dad) lose her, if you ramble on with a lecture or instructions-just tell
her what you need her to do and be done.
She loves her siblings and with how annoying everyone is, she isn't too annoyed by them very often.
Good big sis and very proud of all of them-
She and her friends tell me what's goin on and we laugh a lot. She is good about
letting me in her life-
I love that. But again, wear a hard hat when entering her room.
Now we move onto Gabe. Here we have our first example of a boy.
My oldest son, so we are learning the difference between boys and girls...very strange-
The strangest to me, would fall upon being a woman...and not understanding, for a second, how
there cannot be ANY detail, whatsoever, to ANYTHING that is said.
Like most men, he leaves me, (and any female) wondering about any "main ingredient" to a story.
He can make some massive statement, that leaves your chin on the ground, wondering what, or
how the heck? And immediately, leave the room....
I follow, needing to know more, and I become the annoying one.
"Mommmm, I don't knowwww....why do you need to know everyyyytthinngggg...."
The drama with boys is so opposite from the girls---your ears aren't bleeding from stories but more dehydrated, if you will.
There isn't enough to even formulate a story in your mind. It's just not right. It's not normal.
Gabe is very open, but quiet. He is such a good boy when it comes to letting you still hug him, or show emotion.
Not for long, but I am allowed a few seconds here and there, which I know is hard, but he's good about.
He allows me to still be his mom that way....for me.
I would say his annoyance, (which turns into mine), is his position in the family.
Having so many siblings is great sometimes, and not so great others.
And Gabe would definitely rank #1, in being the easiest annoyed by the little guys.
He likes organization, things in their place, and little noise. And that doesn't come along often around here.
Things tend to get loud when he's in the room because they don't listen to him when he gets mad.
And the fire is fueled. They run by, his leg gets stuck out, people trip into a pile.
He says things to egg them on....they start to cry....the oldest brother job position.
Then I have to be referee so I'm annoyed. He's also a mumbler...I cannot understand half of what he says, so I get annoyed. There already isn't enough TO be said, so let me hear you!
But every so often, I see him teaching wrestling moves to his brothers in the basement or picking up the baby
and just playing with her...and its heartwarming....
I know it's in-there, it's just being a teenager.
Our last and final contestant, is Reilly...our thirteen year old daughter.
The heavens parted with Ry was born. Seriously. She has always been a very in touch little girl,
and a born "mama".
She looooovessss kids, loves organizing, and makes everything a big deal when it happens, like it's happening to her.
She will tell you how she feels about things, and would really do anything for anyone.
There have been numerous times, we are at a sporting event, and come home to the entire house clean.
She loves to do things for people, and has always said she actually LIKES it. God bless her.
Having said that, just as she loves to express her feelings to you-
oh my, does she ever, about everything else under God's green earth.
A book is written, on a daily basis, with every single tiny detail, of every word spoken, and is
then put into the LIBRARY OF REILLY, to re-read to us again, later.
It takes at least twenty minutes for that girl to tell you the beginning of what happened today in homeroom, because it takes that long to describe (simply) the setting, and what everyone was wearing...
Like that has any relevance in why the teacher gave his Science test, two days early.
Then you have to understand how big of a deal everything that happens truly is.
I mean, life threatening. And she is serious.
Her face gets this weird look and the arms move in every direction, the voice shakes,
and then gets really quiet....
"No, mom, you just, oh my gosh, you don't even understand, it's just, oh my gosh, mom...totally insane,....and we were all like, totallllyyy freaking out...I'm not even kidding."
Roman and I just look at each other.
So here we have the "clean freak, sweet emotion" example, but drama out the ears, until the cows
come home.
There is no EASY teen people....and not enough space here to list the daily occurrences or what
they're all about.
I think the best to remember is that they are all divided.
Made up of bits and pieces of the things that will drive you nuts for a while-in all different ways.
Along with a few dibs of their sweetness, you remember loving for the first twelve years, so much.
In fact, that's the part of this time,, that is kind of funny to watch.
Just as the personalities vary, so do the qualities, that are "challenging" you to stay sane.
The important part of it, is that they stay respectful and you stay encouraging.
I love that each of them still seeks me out- to confide in me, and talk to me about things that are going on.
I had that with my mom, and it was so important for me to have with my kids.
You don't always have to have your head on straight, you're only human.
They will tempt you sometimes to pack their
bags and drop them at the train station with a one way ticket.
But stay true to what you want them to take from you and this time in life.
Words hurt-
Don't get too caught up in it....they don't mean to be unbalanced loonitics.
Underneath this mask of disguise, is still your little boy or girl...and they'll be back....I promise.
We just have to keep praying ,we make it til then, and we will....:)
Hugs!

Flip a Coin.

2011-02-18T10:25:00.000-05:00

Just flip a freakin' quarter-
If your kids are sick-Sinus', horrible headache, ear infection, or stomach pains-
Throw one in the air-
Go to your wallet and yell out heads or tails, to tell you if you should keep them home.
You cannot win!
First of all, you can't win with the right or wrong...
You can let them go to school and feel great, and you're in the clear.
You can keep them home and they run around after the first hour on the couch, like it's gym class.
You can let them stay, and their puking within fifteen minutes of when they'd be on the bus.
Or you can let them go, and get a call from the nurse by nine a.m.
Two ways of right and two ways you were wrong-
And you know, even if you are a great fortune teller, you can't win anyway.
The school has this two sided approach to whatever your choose to do-I love them dearly, but it's true.
If the kids are sick and they're home, there's a letter generated that they are missing school
and you need to know that this can become an issue.
If you send them, and they call you, and they then tell you this (is also) an issue.
You shouldn't have sent them.
So, my morning lesson? Flip a quarter, dime, nickel, or penny.
If you live near Atlantic City, go to the roulette table.
The odds there are just like predicting the flu, a gamble.
Have a good one, off to make some jello for my patients :)
Hugs !

Team Work-:)

2011-02-17T12:35:00.000-05:00

There's nothin like middle of the night puke-
The sound of footsteps, the little (or big) voice, almost in warning mode, and then the impact.
Whether they make it to the toilet, or the sink, or some ends up on your comforter, the pity
takes over your being.
Not just because you know how crappy it feels to throw up, (really, what is worse, ever?) but
because you would take it from them in a heartbeat.
In this house, last night, it came, almost to a tee, at the exact second my baby was waking for a feeding.
I had just gotten her out of her crib, when I heard someone heaving.
It was my fifth grader, who insisted he would feel better after taking a shower. So in he went and I went to breastfeed.
About ten minutes later, my three yr old, who had come into our room earlier, and was sleeping there,
started throwing up on her pillow.
My dear husband, who had to work AFTER work yesterday, (at a salon that can only
have repairs done when they're not open), had just gotten home, and been sleeping only about an hr.
Although he needed to get his bearings straight, he helped me get her out and
things organized.
Then I took the baby, and the two patients, downstairs to make up the "sick ward".
I had to run up to get another pillow, and saw Roman, standing at the sink, scrubbing something
that must have gotten hit by chunks.
There he was on one hr of rest, cleaning.
I grabbed what I needed and smiled, to which he said, do you need help?
Do you need me to do anything?
In the chaos of life, no matter what the issue or saga, or even daily moments are, isn't that all we want?
Someone to just simply offer to lend a hand, or grab an end here and there, and help you carry
something, even if it's just for a minute?
Everything was handled, and he got to get back to sleep, God bless him, but those seven
words were priceless.
I love team work.
But even more I love having someone that I just know has my back, even when I'm cool with
handling things.
When he gets home today, I'm gonna tell him what his continued "assistance" means to me...
I know he's heard it through the years, but I think it may be one of those phrases that never
gets old to share with people that are truly there for you.
I know not every man is built with that part, doing something without needing to be asked, and luckily he didn't miss that additive on the production line.
I get to stay home, so although I'll be tired, being sleep deprived doesn't affect me like it does someone who is performing physical labor for nine hours this afternoon.
If you have a teammate in life, make sure you are telling them how it makes you feel to have them.
We are very blessed to have an extra set of hands, especially at three in the morning. :)

Hugs!

Cartoons Of Today

2011-02-15T14:27:00.001-05:00

Someone PLEASE get me either earplugs, or a bandanna for my eyes-
I cannot believe the difference in the cartoons that my kids watch now and then ones I did...
And now with the BOOMERANG channel, we can even revisit, and prove it.
The shows on for kids of today, of course with some exceptions, are full of either
a good amount of violence, whining voices and even cleavage.
Seriously, do you see some of the women that are "fighting" in some of the Cartoon Network shows?
They have big boobs! What the heck?
My younger ones love Calliou...people, seriously, could Calliou, who I keep swearing is a girl,
be more of a whiner if he tried?
If he says MOMMMYYYYYY, one more time today, I am going to beat his ass.
And the (ever so not entertaining) shows my little boys like to watch?
Ben10, Total Drama Island, Ed Edd and Eddy? Are you kidding me?
What the point is to any of those?
I really, truly, can't understand.
They fart as they stab some other guys heart with their sword.
I'm not even prude, I love the semi-adult humor in Sponge bob, Ice Age and Shrek.
It keeps parents WANTING to take kids to the theatres and stay awake at the same time!
But breasts and talking about pooping?
Did the Pink Panther or Papa Smurf do that?
It is just really far from even what was "walking the line" back them...
Even if I wanted to take my older kids to see a classic horror movie, my favorites back then and still now,
I'd have to prepare them for VERY GRAPHIC killings, and of course, soft porn.
Somewhere along the lines, the public must have demanded it.
There is so much crappy stuff replacing the old time, (more wholesome), television/movie industry.
Our kids have to go from age 3 watching Sesame straight to bizarreness, Pokemon.
Nick Jr has some cute shows, (Oswald is adorable) and Disney's Suite Life makes me laugh, really.
I have even seen a few more on some other channels that I don't mind them watching.
But from a mother's standpoint, I really wish the executives would slow the progress of innocence.
The kids will watch anything exciting, loud and busy, but why Elmo can't keep telling us about HIS WORLD, really bums me out.
Here's wishing more of our childhood could still be around on a daily basis-
It may not still be like the Dukes of Hazard days, but I'd give anything to only have to explain why some cute chic's shorts look like that.
Have a great day!
Hugs!

It's Goin Fast-

2011-02-14T15:59:00.000-05:00

Ever just see a picture and think, how the heck are my kids so old?
I'm not talking about Lexi being a Sr, (cried that story to you last week), but really, some
minutes it just hits you?
I found a picture taken at the holidays and just stared at it-three kids, (of mine), pretty much as tall
as their father, posing together.
Not that I thought they'd stay little forever, but I think sometimes life just goes so fast that unless
it every so often, hits you between the eyes, you just don't see it coming.
One day you just wake up and the car seat and diaper bag are simply missing.
There are no more juice boxes, and you and your girls are sharing UGGS.
You have to look up, even if just a few inches, to tell your son to clean his room....and the endless
hanging on you becomes merely a distant memory.
I still have little guys, and will for a while, but I have THREE teenagers.
Three kids that are old enough to go on dates and watch a Rated R movie.
Sometimes I even see them talking to each other, and hold onto your seat, without me making them.
One actually asked advice of another one last week!!
Isn't that absolutely insane? I KNOWWW!!!
It's crazy to hear their stories, and remember those times, cause it wasn't too long ago that it was me
doing it with MY mom.
Shouldn't it have taken longer to get to this place?
God bless us all because life is like a bullet.
Just wanted to share my amazement, cause it hit me again today-that's all. :)
Hugs!

Here's the picture----

MY CIRCUS

2011-02-11T07:30:00.001-05:00

This day will be just great as I wake in early morn
As I stumble out of bed and stop on kernels of popcorn.
"It's gonna be a new day!", as I walk into the hall
Moving things out of my way, and tripping over my son's ball.
Of course it is still dark out, all my neighbors are asleep
But my one year old is rising, for the dawn she likes to greet.
"Shh" I say, don't wake them, this early, one is sure enough
And down the stairs we go to pile her with lots of stuff.
Why would any channel have a show at six am?
Let's go find your Barney tape and watch it once again.
I begin to make the coffee, and who's footsteps do I hear?
Two others are awake, around the corner they appear.
Cereal is poured, and in just two seconds juice is spilled
After just one bite they both insist that they are filled.
Stop watching your cartoons, can't you see were in a rush?
We need to save ten minutes just to find a single brush.
Home from all my errands, coats off, I start to sigh
Walking by the bin of laundry, that has reached it's all time high.
The afternoon goes crazy, as it always seems to do
"MOM, I FINGER PAINTED!" "Yea, that's great, but you used glue!"
Husbands home for dinner, what exciting should I make?
A turkey with potatoes, from your dream you need to wake.
Bedtime is coming up, but tonight were out of luck
Running low on milk, so we pile into the truck.
Tub time is a nightmare, water stains upon the floor
As I leave to get the towels, those little buggers lock the door.
Bring them all downstairs, "Ok, I'll read you each one book."
"Who goes first tonight?", as they both give me a look.
We say our prayers, jump in bed, and kiss them all goodnight
"I'll see you in the morning, and I'll leave on the hall light."
Giggles last a minute, and sometimes they try to stall
But before long eyes are shut, and there's quiet in the hall.
It always is a saga, and it's always very busy
But how good is a soda if it isn't really fizzy?
I run around, but when I'm still, all I do is stare
At piggies, and big smiles, and their different colored hair.
I have my own small circus, that I can't believe we made
And there's not one thing at all, that I would ever trade.
This Thanksgiving, I give thanks, for my three clowns most of all
For the laundry, and the lost brush, and the spilled juice and the ball.
For the shuffle, and the errands, and the oh-so-dirty rugs
For the quiet time with Mommy, and the kisses, and the hugs.
For my humor and the love, that I can give to them each day
For the family God has blessed me with, in each and every way.

(My Thanksgiving prayer in 1997 at our family dinner-and I thought I had a circus then, if I only knew)

Hugs!

You have HOW many??

2011-02-10T14:32:00.000-05:00

"Are they all yours?" "I dont' know how you do it." "I can't even handle my TWO." "God bless you."
"Did you always want that many?" "I don't know how you afford it." "What about college?" "God Bless You." "What does your husband do? "Do you work?" "God Bless You."
My daily dose, on average about 5-10 times a day.
Everywhere I go, with most, or all of my brood.
In a world like today, that is in the condition ours is in, where more people are complaining rather
than praising their life, why someone can't just see you smile, and enjoying your life, and figure you're
happy, is strange to me.
Somedays I answer, understandingly, it's not the norm.
Other days, it's annoying.
I have gotten better through the years I must say.
In the beginning, (it started after baby four), it used to really boggle my mind.
I think more so, because I have NEVER been like that.
If people are different than me, I am the type that may think, I wouldn't do that, but I don't
need to go tell them.
In fact, it is likely, since they didn't ask my opinion, it wouldn't matter what I thought.
The interest isn't the issue,were used to the staring and stuff, just more the verbal part of it.
The sarcastic God Bless You's are what rank at the top of my annoyance list.
There is a definite distinction between the people that mean it, or the people that use it as a dig.
I didn't ask if YOU could handle it, in fact it's evident in what your ONE child is acting like,
even as you talk to me. lol
But on the flip side, there are many lovely people who are simply curious and nice to talk to.
It wouldn't work for them, and they are just wonder how we do it. If Roman helps a lot, etc.
People have shared stories of how they weren't able, or they always wanted to but just couldn't.
Some have said were insane but laughingly, and I laugh back and say yeahhhh, we are.
And the sweet little nanas and pop- pops? I can't take it....
Their wide eyed, wisdom -filled eyes, coming to tell us their story.
Reminding Roman and I that these are the years, the ones that are most rewarding, the
ones you'll remember forever.
Most of them DID have big families and talk about their holidays now and all their grandbabies....
I can't count the number of them that walk over to us at restaurants and just look down the table.
They tilt their heads, and pat our shoulders or hug one of the kids-I get goosebumps just thinking
about them.
And sometimes, I'm just as guilty.
My teenager's girlfriend goes to a church where the pastor's wife is having her tenth baby.
I asked her so many questions about them, I would have to consider myself a hypocrite, if I
didn't understand that part of it.
For years, I tried to come up with a general comparison for all who asked.
It's wasn't important to me that anyone agree with our choice to "overpopulate", but if I could
come up with a comparison or some sort of general idea, those who were just
completely floored by it all, may just, (a tiny bit) understand.
I conclude all talks now with family size being decided, just like most choose their occupation.
It has helped.
In life, we are all built to withstand many different things.
Not only in tolerance, but talent and ability.
Some of us are made with more patience than others. They grow up wanting to be teachers, people
that can sit in a classroom with up to thirty students all day and instruct.
Others must be made up of 'Butterfly" free stomachs, they can stand in front of judge and jury
and fight for a man's freedom from prison.
The sweet, quiet and to- themselves? They want to be librarians or file clerks.
And thank goodness for butt doctors right?? We need them.
Well, for the same reasons, I think family sizes are created. What you want in life and what's good for you.
There are women and men that want one child. Plain and simple
Some want two- how many times have you hearsd,-two hands? two kids.
And others, three is the magic number.
My husband and I didn't say from Day 1, were gonna have a family of ten.
(although anyone that went to high school with him said that he always said 6).
But time we went on, we always felt an itch, like one more person was meant to be.
We love the insanity, a playful home, caos. It is us...
There is always going to be massive piles of laundry and a sport to drive to.
For some, this would be the ingredients for life's disaster, but that's what makes the world full
of difference. The things that make us separate from others are one thing, but how people
relay their opinion toward a different choice, is another.
I'm sure they don't go into their foot doctor and ramble on and on about how insane he is to work
on feet all day, asking explanation after explanation on why he does it.
But, maybe I'm wrong.
I wish they would know, it's already a little tougher on a large family.
And I'm not talking the financial.
Any mom to a circus will tell you, most of the time, unlike everyone else, you don't
have days where you are granted a get out of jail free card (except by maybe a good friend
or family member).
There is a "Large Family-It just can't happen list", and on it are things that, unless you want to
continue on the TOLD YOU SO bandwagon, you need to avoid.
Let me clue you in on our secret club.
First off there cannot be any complaining. No whining, or venting or break down of the parents.
Let's say you are having a crazy day and you are a mother of two.
You wake up to dog pee in the family room, low on milk for breakfast, no clean socks
and are running twenty minutes late.
Later that day, you are standing in the deli line at Acme, and start telling the woman next to you, all about it. She would probably smile, and say encouragingly, "Aw, it's just one of those days...hang in there."
Now, let's have the same day to a mom of eight.
I wake up to dog pee, and forget things.
I have refereed eleven times so far, and have a much better shot at not having enough clean socks. lol
Then I go to the deli.
If I were to vent, or laugh, about all that didn't go as planned that day, what would happen?
They would probably think, Hm, shouldn't have had eight kids.
The same goes for our children.
I have seen people at Target, with kids screaming at the top of their lungs, hanging half way out of
the cart, pulling things off the shelves.
I'm sure people would judge that, but maybe at the same time,
pity the mom who couldn't have predicted an earlier than normal met down before nap.
If it were reversed, and any of my kids acted even half that bad, I would be sure to be judged harsher.
Theres a woman who chose to have EIGHT KIDS and they act that way! ?
If they can't teach them how to act properly, why'd they have that many?
But the biggest, the most common thing that comes our way, of public opinion, would have to be college.
The conversations I have been lectured through, I can't even begin to tell you.
If I think back to even when I was growing up, that never seemed to be in discussion.
When large families, were more a little more common- I don't think it was such a dramatic topic of discussion.
And yes, things were less expensive back then, but its always relative, they were making less money too.
I don't base my family on the size house we are in right now, what my husband is making at this time,
or what car we are driving this week.
So why would I base having another baby on how much we are, (or they are ), gong to pay for further education?
If I had a quarter for everytime I heard the question, What about college? I'd have enough to pay for them to go!
We have our children for eighteen years BEFORE that, and many, many, many after.
I'm not going to not add to my family, because of the four years in between.
That's like saying you don't want to have anther baby because of the teenage years...Um, yeah, we just couldn't handle out last thirteen year old, so NEVER again.
My question for those people-Do parents of one, two or three kids have their college money set aside?
Are they irresponsible?

Health care too....many people are without, it's one of the biggest issues right now in Government.
At a normal monthly payment, for an average family, for many, is tough---
Could you imagine if we had a bad year in business and applied for a discount insurance?
What would people say? Surely more would judge than not. Saying we didn't plan according.
Shouldn't have had all those kids if you couldn't have afforded to.
I'm not saying you should approve of people just pounding out kids and not paying for them.
I, in no way want to start a debate about how many is too many-
Or the latest article I read on those that believe large families are using too much of the earth's oxygen.
(yes, I am serious).
I'm just talking about my own individual situation, and it isn't asking anyone to flip the bill.
So next time you see me, remember my club membership, and try not to judge, because you may
have a different lifestyle choice. Just Kidding-but tell anyone you know that, just in case.
We aren't exempt from days that go wrong, kids that misbehave or an income that fluctuates.
But none of any of that should make anyone not have the family they dream of having.
More than college funds, and bank accounts, you need faith.
No matter what job, how many kids, or what you are trying to decide for yourself.
You need to make choices based on happiness and belief in what is meant to be.
If there is heart, and love, and trueness, in whatever you are deciding to do, you are making
the choice that is right.
What a shame if you had to look back, and saw that you COULD have done what would have made you happy....but it just seemed like too much at the time.
The tides don't always just sweep you up, and float you away into the sunset every day.
Each person is given a boat. Your job is to fill it with whatver love you have and
everything that can make your journey asea worth sailing.
You must prepare for choppy waters, but more than that, a beautiful ride.
Don't let other people's maps affect the course your looking to travel.
It won't work for you.
Life is best when it's all your own.
The only thing that quiets our nay-sayers are three simple words....We love it.
And that friends, is all that matters.
Hugs!

Seriously?

2011-02-09T12:01:00.002-05:00

Seriously, did I just freaking order a cap and gown?
Did I really just write a checkmark next to those words and total an amount?
Was I sitting next to an "almost woman", who was in second grade, literally, three years ago??
I cannot take it.
I'm sure this won't be my last rant and whine on the topic, I can't help it.
And although I'm at the top of the list for emotional, it will probably NEVER become easier, starting
this process of "lasts"....
And added to it, I've never done it before, so it's crazy!
As I sealed the envelope I thought oh my. Here it is....over half way through senior year,
and I am denying that it is going like the speed of light.
I've wanted it to trickle by so I could embrace SLOWLY, these months...
Her still hanging out and eating with us.
The Saturdays she wants to rent a movie in the afternoon or just run to Wawa with me to get a
French Vanilla.
But it's not going very slow----it's past the send your baby photos for the yearbook, and now this.
The screaming at the top of my lungs, while she clicked send for each of her college applications, has come and gone.
And running to the mailbox every day, for envelopes that will determine where she will be living (without me)
this coming summer, will be over in the next week or two.
The only thing that has worked, to keep me off needing therapy, is choosing to look at all of
this "newest journey", is seeing it through her eyes.
And for those that haven't been here yet, it works, a lot.
Just as she has completed her first phase of life, I have completed my second.
I'm not DONE by any means, but we are getting ready to close the chapter of "creating someone good to put
out into our world."
And my book has tears on these last few pages.
Not because I didn't know this day was coming. We all know.
I got as much time as anyone gets, and although it went too fast, and she will always be my baby, I did
every ounce of what I could, with the time I had.
But this is such an exciting time for her (and her friends) and being part of all these moments is so awesome.
These next months to come, (and actually the last few), have been fun and will only continue to be.
She and her friends were talking about their Sr Week house and who was going to be there.
We are planning a great graduation party and getting ready to choose which picture to use in her annoucements.
Her girlfriends, and her sweet boyfriend, hang here all the time, I am so blessed. I love that.
The years we've had don't seem long enough yet to almost be dropped off at college.
But they are, and it's here....and you can cry every day and be a basketcase, or you can embrace it and be thrilled.
I look at her and know she is going to leap into Act 2 of her life with endless possibility.
She has become a beautiful daughter, sister and (just about) friend.
You can't get your time back, so make the most of the days while you have them. I'm so glad I did.

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the Best Songs Ever!

2011-02-08T12:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, so if you're a good friend of mine or a family member, chances are I have either begged you
(or forced to you), to listen to the song LITTLE WONDERS by Rob Thomas.
I think I have even posted it under my profile on Facebook once or twice.
Well, get over it, I'm talking about it again! :)
I know there are a million and one tunes that make your eyes fill up, or give you goosebumps.
There are another million that have words that hit home to whatever mood you may be feeling that day.
But people, this song is just awesome, and really speaks to all of us about what life is about.
Not the huge, big things, but the little moments, the "small hours".
It touches on your life no matter what you do or who you are.
Whether you are single with dreams, young or old, married with a family, divorced, even an outlook for children.
The twists and turns of life will always be here, time falls away, but these small hours, still remain.
PLEASE, if you are having a great day and just want to keep smiling, or when things just aren't going your way, turn it on and close your eyes to the words...
It's called Little Wonders because it speaks wonders...
Hugs!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsT2URr1Igc

Who are the Jones' Anyway?

2011-02-03T20:05:00.003-05:00

I was at the Exton Mall the other day next to two mom's who were drinking coffee.
I wasn't paying much attention, (except that I wished I had Starbucks), until one of them started
talking rather loud, and began to rant on and on about "Keeping up with Jones' ".
She talked about her things, and then some other women she knows things, and how hard it is....
They sat going on and on, (I left a few times), about society, and all the demands of life, especially
when you are raising a family...
Which got me thinking, now that I'm a "blogger"!! lol
I wonder how many people we know like this? Women (or men) wanting or trying to be this unattainable picture of perfection. A member of the Jones Fam.
I've talked about the perfect mom before but do any of you know the people like this woman?
I wanted to tell this girl, stop the act. Stop the worry-it's gotta be exhausting.
The constant looking around, wondering if anyone is judging you.
Miscroscoping every move you make. Thinking others have it so much easier.
Most people are just like you I'm sure-
Good years, bad weeks, sometimes falling upon harder times.
Who are the Jones' ? Those dang Jones'!
The mom and dad with 2.5 kids, white picket fence, cute dog, and a paycheck that handles
everything coming their way?
The couple that looks great every time you see them? Leave It To Beaver times one hundred?
Those that live without a care in the world which makes people like us, who stress about a noise
coming from the engine in our mini van because it will take the money you need to repair you roof,
seem unusual.
Not a care? Or does it just seem that way?
I saw on a morning show last week that 70% of the U S is living paycheck to paycheck.
That means that 70% of the people you see driving those awesome cars, living in those huge homes
and wearing the clothes you could dream of putting on, CANNOT AFFORD IT.
Well, maybe they can, but it hurts.
Yet, no matter what we hear or believe, even how we view people like that, we want so badly to
look like it.
No one would dare brag about getting a final notice for water.
Or that their cell phone company gave them a payment arrangement for the third month in a row.
Why the gray streak in their hair hasn't been touched up or why their kids don't go to private school anymore.
It may BE more normal than not, but even those that have been there, (or are now), would
probably make a face like they had never heard such a think-
WOW, THAT MUST SUCK, I'M SO SORRY.
We, as human beings, in 2011, have to cut the crap.
In BREAKING DOWN OF US INCOME, it states that the average median household income is
$46,326.00, that equals out to be $3215 and some change, a month, take home.
I never knew it could go so far--------hmmmmm.
The best thing ever would be a TAKE YOUR CREDIT FOR THE DAY, day.
A day when every bank, lender, or family member, took from everyone what was still owed on,
and you haven't paid outright for.
Would that not be great for those that feel "less lucky"?
Can you imagine the type of cars that would be driving alone on the road? What people would be wearing or what jewelry or clothing they would still have available?
Endless amounts of people, walking the streets in sweats from four yrs ago, and only a handful
of Gucci bags would be on arms around the country.
My kids would finally have proof that the people "shopping" all the time, aren't always rich.
A few years ago we gave up our plastic. Since then, we explain that when we are out of money,
we are out of things to do.
It isn't always easy, trying to explain why we seem to be the only ones EVERY SINGLE FRIDAY AND SATURDAY not at dinner, or the movies.
It's been a lesson. And although we balance the "things we do" with "homemade fun", it's a hard concept to teach. That we PAY for things as we go. Great lesson for my daughter that will be leaving for college this summer.
We lost big in the real estate market a few years back, along with part of our
ego and 75% of our dignity.
The awesome thing about your dignity though, for those that may not know, is when it takes a dip,
your humility takes an elevator rise to the top.
It goes straight to the driver's seat, and takes you places you never would have gone without loss.
Four year ago, we lived in a seven bedroom, 3864 sf home, with (almost) perfect credit.
We had five properties and a savings account.
Although we always sacrificed having a big family, it had paid off.
We didn't go crazy taking trips or buying stuff-we will forever be in a budget-mode.
So, besides building our new house, most of any profits through those years, we tended to roll into
our next investment.
It was more lax though, and that was nice.
Our plan was to have a property for each child at retirement since we are self employed.
We were almost there, but God had a different plan.
Business went "south" in the south. lol
So after much discussion, we packed up the family and moved back North.
It was a very hard time, wondering why these companies with our good-standings, wouldn't work with us.
We juggled this for two years, hoping and praying that something would sell, or someone would come along...but it just wasn't meant to be.
The stories you hear about the banks are true. It was disturbing.
There were a few things we could have even taken to court if we wanted to continue in that bubble.
We actually paid one company to modify a loan that was changed back in 30 days to an even higher amount.
We saw some bad stuff, but the banks aren't the ones that have to sleep at night. We do.
Very hard.
In the end, we sold a few and lost a few. And the credit that took fifteen years to build, didn't
take long to get hit.
Hit like a hurricane in the middle of....well, hurricane season.
In a world like today, if you have stayed in the game, be thankful.
But if you haven't, please know, it will all be okay.
We are here, still breathing, still happy.
And financially, although there is nothing BIG monetarily (anymore) for our future, that has plenty of time
to change. And oh well if it doesn't.
Our family is larger than life, we will still HAVE a beautiful future.
We don't feel special. Many people went through what we did, but you need to
keep your head in the game....learn some lessons-even if it was simply, "the times".
Like I said, we haven't used a card (except debit), no car payments, and we are re-building
our credit, thankful that we are still young enough to be able.
We are all here, a life planned for each of us. Go with it..know it is for a purpose.
At the end of the day, don't be the woman thinking about the Jones'.
When you shut your door at night, what is between those walls is the most important thing.
Teach you kids about "real life". Tell them how great it is to dream and to not be scared to take
the chance. If you fall, you tried, and you'll be standing stronger because of it.
But most of all, the best lessons are those after hardships.
Many people think obstacles occur to throw you off track. Not at all.
The twists and turns of fate will make your ride here more meaningful.
And nothing will build your character more.
We showed our kids a lot about life during those years. Yes, it was difficult and embarrassing at times.
But I'm a firm believer that when things aren't going your way, it is a good thing for kids to see.
Look what happened when stuff fell apart; Mom and Dad talked a lot about plans, kept
holding hands and we survived.
We may not have been thrilled while it was happening, but it happened. And business is great now.
Why not talk about it? It is what it is.
Maybe your story isn't financial, maybe it's an addiction or other struggle.
Tell someone. It may just make them feel better about their life, to not feel alone about things.
Remember, it's easy to be thankful when all is well-
Next time you see who you think are the Jones', remind yourself it just may not be what it seems.
And love your life, the way it is, no matter what it is, because of what you have today.
Hugs!

HARDEST THING-

2011-02-01T11:08:00.006-05:00

Well, today I'm just going to quickly rant and rave about my Facebook status-
the hardest thing about raising eight kids.
The hardest thing is:
Not the bickering, or the refereeing that goes along with that.
Although I spend many a day being a small shuttle service, it's not the driving.
And as much laundry that there will always be for me to do, it's not even that.
(although it surely comes a very close second).
THE HARDEST thing, by far, in this house, is EXPLAINING to my sons why they need to
wear a winter coat, every single day of winter.
WHAT THE HECK? Does it end? EVER?
It starts around here, somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas, during second grade.
And from there, until, well, either I stop debating, or just simply stop caring about it.
The beast that is my daily enemy.
From the time they are getting their backpacks, until they
have lost the morning battle-
It is the creator of the frown, slumped shoulders, and one last, I'M THE ONLY KID THAT
HAS TO, as they are defeated once again, walking to the bus stop like
they just lost their baseball championship game.
My rule with the important things around here has always been a trueness to "fields I'm willing to die on".
There will be so many things in my kids' lives that go on-year to year.
What other parents do or say really
isn't a concern to me,  they will use that to try and convince you that other parents let THEIR kids.
Whateverrrr....there are eight of you and what goes on with the Smith family just isn't gonna work
around here...
I weigh each thing carefully, wanting the things I am willing to fight for to be taken seriously.
That's why I choose to let the other things, slide.
The "no biggies".
We all have them, but in every family, they differ.
It helps to show them the things that are important to us, that they can do, or not do.
And yes, usually in large families, there are many more on that side of the list-
Because, frankly, we'd be yelling at someone, at all hours, for something, if we weren't more
laid back then the norm.
That has been able to create fun and laughter but balance in the things that just aren't gonna be happening around here.
Yes, we are like the movie CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN-
If you don't like the circus, get out of our tent. :) haha.
So we expect a little from them, and give a little to them, in may topics of discussion...
especially those blessed teenage years.
Example: The girls are allowed to get piercings done on their ears, as many as they want...
Some they do themselves, some they've gotten done.
I don't care if they have two or three, whatever...I did that.
Even one high up on that area at the top-I forget what it's called.
Knock yourselves out, and they look adorable..(we trust that they aren't going to make themselves look crazy)
But the other side is no nose, or bellybutton.
Because they see us lax on part of it, there's not much discussion on the rest-
I'm not giving in or kissing butt, it's just what seems to work .
And since you're not super strict on everything, they really are understanding with the things that
we aren't diggin.
But having said that, this is just a talk with NO END!
The only one that we have come upon that doesn't die-lol
With these boys of mine, nothing I have ever said with the coats, matters.
It's just not an option-when there are inches of snow, and school is delayed and you are sliding
your way to the bus, (call me crazy but) you need to have a coat that is thicker than a
long sleeved tee.
I have lectured about the weather, how cold they will be waiting outside, the fact that their
school wants it, and what the other students wear is like this.
NOTHING.
They HATE winter coats.
Their latest attempt failed- when trying to pull their sweatshirt hoods up and wear gloves,
thinking it's gonna make this disguise of theirs pass, as they walk by me.
Ummm....noooo fellas.
I dont' need a reason, I understand that.
But as every parent knows, it's so much easier if they get it.
Not only to have the silence in the matter, but if they understand, they see why, even if they don't agree.
I see that will just not be happening in this area of our lives.
One day it will be a story to tell, but for now?
The answer, every morning, is, BECAUSE IT'S WINTER, AND BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Those words we all swore we'd never say.
We have become our parents---and it's just too funny.
Thanks for listening! :)
Hugs!

ONE DAY

2011-01-31T15:07:00.001-05:00

One day it was your turn, and I sent you on your way,
To make a mark upon this world, I kneeled down to pray.
Sent down to a mother, from my heart to her own,
She'll love you like no other, you will never feel alone.
One day you will start to grow, with great big wondering eyes,
You'll point at birds, and run in fields, catching butterflies.
You'll turn four, and faster six, and one day you'll be ten,
And from always holding hands, you'll start to hang out in the den.
One day you'll be driving, independent the first time,
You're on your very own, a chance to really shine.
Your parents pace at nighttime, and they'll want you to check in,
But they trust that these are steps of life, and smile a nervous grin.
One day you'll decide, where your road is going to lead,
You'll choose a future's path, and what you soon will be.
You'll wear a cap and gown, and walk down a long, red aisle,
Your mom and day will cry, taking endless pictures of your smile.
One day we'll have gone from a newborn baby's toes,
To a grown up man or woman. How'd we get here? No one knows.
One day you will see what your journey's meant to be,
What I sent you here to do and what I sent you here to be.
Make your best decisions, use your heart and please stay true,
For all I gave to mom and dad, I will surely give to you.
Then one day, you'll look upon, the beauty you've lived here,
The blessings and the love, soon will be all too clear.
Yes, it only takes "one day", to send my miracle to earth,
But what you've made with all your days, shows what my gifts are truly worth.

Hugs!

REAL housewives?

2011-01-30T18:41:00.002-05:00

Real housewives? Really? REAL ones?
I must admit, I do tune into the Bravo hit, at least most of them...
I love Orange County and New York, I'll watch New Jersey sometimes....but the latest Beverly Hills?
I'm just not so sure what I'm doing watching it-Like a train wreck, I sit and stare.
Amazed at their clothing, their five cars, their beautiful pools.
But more so in awe of what these women think are problems.
The things that are just so huge in their lives, that they babble on and one about throughout the entire episode.
Then I wonder if there are limits to their meltdowns over nothing.
And soon realize, no, there aren't.
From the endless drama of where to meet for their afternoon cocktail to who they DO NOT want attending the insane get together they're meeting up at on Friday, I can see any title appropriate but REAL HOUSEWIVES.
First off, to be a housewife don't you need to do the things in the home?
Almost zero of them clean, rarely do you see them eating at the house, and don't get me started on the parenting.
Beverly Hills is starting to make me feel a tad sick in fact.
Watching someone who says, on one hand that she lives for her children, her number one priority, but in the next scene brags that she has
rotating nannies.
What is her job?
Where is she when she is in NEED of the nanny?
I even watched a scene where a nanny was telling her that her
child was sick.
Maybe it was just for the camera, but she was like...awww...and
went on about her "business".
In the Reality TV world, I know the more drama the better the ratings,
but after watching the reunion show the other night, I am wondering how much is truly real.
I pray after seeing the episodes that most of it is somehow scripted or exaggerated.
But the way these women sit on Andy's couches and speak to each other makes me doubt what I had hoped for.
Their arguments are so pitiful and I know if it wasn't crazy we wouldn't be so fascinated but come on-
I just can't believe that life is seen as so hard for these women and would love for them somehow to have a simple dose of reality.
Along with the rich and famous, I dare any of these women to walk a day
in a "REAL housewife's" shoes-
One that cooks, cleans and cares for her kids all by herself.
While trying to drive eight places in one day, run errands and
balance a checkbook that isn't an endless pot at the end of a
dreamer's rainbow.
I wouldn't be as entertaining but I really think I would watch
a show about the normal soccer mom, running her butt everywhere like we all do..without help around every corner.
Look how well the Jon and Kate series did for a while-that's real.
Well, it was...
REAL HOUSEWIVES they are not, but we love it anyway..for some reason.
I just wish they could stop their complaining.
Here's praying they never have to deal with an issue that would take away from what they really think is so dang hard-
Maybe one day, the REAL HOUSEWIVES can step into the REAL WORLD.
That'd be the best rated show ever!
Hugs!

Make snow your excuse

2011-01-26T10:01:00.001-05:00

Anyone wanting a free day and feel like they don't deserve it?
Do you work but really can't afford a hooky day?
Do you stay home but still have a million things you should do?
Working moms, stay at home mommies, take the day and enjoy it.
Even if the roads are possibly okay for you to get there, call in.
If you just took a sick day, tell the boss it's back---
If you stay home and the list is endless, throw it in a drawer.
Make some hot chocolate, rent a movie, get out your Apples to Apples game.
Build a tent, color ten pictures of Hello Kitty.
Rent two movies in a row and pop enough popcorn so you don't have to move
until they're both over (except to pee).
Be the "greeter" as the piles of wet clothes enter your house from sledding-
Hang them on chairs or throw them in the dryer with a smile today...
Pull out the crockpot for dinner and light a candle in each room-
Take the day for your kids and for you....
Make a sweet memory and use snow as your excuse for it all.
(If it's not snowing where you are, call out anyway :) )
Hugs!

Ear Infection Preaching Day

2011-01-19T08:07:00.002-05:00

Okay everyone-here is my lecture on Ear Infections, the most popular antibiotic shoveled to your child.
Best Bet -Wait and See.
If your child has been DIAGNOSED with an ear infection they are one of 15 million kids out there.
It is the most common reason for them to get medication and that antibiotic's resistance is a health concern worldwide at this moment.
Whether you are a believer or not in the "waiting period", please try and read up on this or ask your dr for further information on the topic.
They will almost always prescribe, without a discussion of both sides.
The most important fact to know about this condition is that in most cases, 80% in fact, your child's infection will go away on it's own.
There was a study done in the Journal of American Medical Association.
In this study almost 2/3 of prescriptions were never filled that were urged to delay, while 9/10 parents who werent talked to about the "wait and see" filled the order.
The myth to all of this is your child needs this to kill the infection and relieve the pain.
No one wants their baby hurting, not being able to rest or sleep through the night. I don't either-duh.
But the answer most dr's give you isn't always the answer.
Feeling better and getting a good night sleep is in pain relieving medicine.
Most ear problems, have tag along symptoms like fever, headache and fussiness, we all know.
With ibuprofen or tylenol, you can get the achiness under control while letting their natural immunities take care of the rest.
Letting the antibiotic do it's work, will open the door to side effects like vomiting, diarrhea, and rashes but also adds another notch which is worse, future resistance to the drug.
Some day you may REALLY need it to work.
Even the AAP approved the wait strategy (years ago) for any child over 2, up to 72 hours, because most WILL cure themselves.
I don't want to debate what we all think is best, to each his own.
And of course, after the wait and see, if it's hasn't cleared, go for it.
In waiting you aren't DENYING anything, just holding off for a few days.
And for some, I understand that can be scary.
You rely totally on what your dr thinks is best, and you're now questioning what he's telling you to do.
This has just always worked in my house and I have read so much on it through the years.
I just wanted to share my thoughts to anyone that may have
not known or experienced it before.
Knowledge is power :)
Hugs!

THANK YOU !!!

2011-01-17T17:15:00.000-05:00

Monday, January 17, 2011 Time for some awards... and my 5 guilty pleasures. FUN!
So it's time to pay it forward with the "Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award" and reward 3 of the blogs I feel are the ones I run to every day. They are all very different, not necessarily sweet (which is what i like LOL) and full of inspiration and laughs. As I said in my previous blog, i recieved this award from Jewels from Turning 30 - A Journey of Self Exploration - mad love to ya Jewels! xoxox

The winners of the award are...

1 - We Are One - written by Ruth with incredible insight and a good dose of inspiration, it follows her successful journey to overcome her depression and not just "survive but thrive". She has an amazing story to tell and she tells it wonderfully. Please check out her blog!

2 - Jersey Girl Gets Real - Michelle is a true jersey girl and so friggin funny I look forward to her words every day. She can be dirty and funny and always seems to get it just right. She's had an issue with certain blog followers so she's made her blog private. Send her an email tho and she will approve you to be able to read it. (as long as you aren't one of her sisters or her cyber stalker lol) Comment below and I will forward you her email. Her blog is well worth the extra step!

3 - The Hale Family-you just gotta laugh - written by Jen, who is new to the blogging game, you will be amused, amazed and inspired. Jen and her husband have 8 beautiful happy kids from 18 yrs old to under a year, and this blog is filled with her stories of how to manage life with a smile and a sense of humor. Whether you have kids or not, are a mom or a dad or single without kids Jen's stories will warm your heart and give you a great positive perspective on what life throws at us.

AWWWW my first award!! sooo sweet!!! xo!!

Wrestling Parents: Chill.

2011-01-17T09:49:00.004-05:00

Attention parents of wrestlers...can you PLEASE remember you
already had your shot? Your spotlight? Your time to shine?
This is now your child's turn and as much as your heart is out there,
with theirs, it is not you.
Okay? Freaking calm down.
Our oldest son is fifteen and started on the mats at age four.
My husband will say til the end of his days, that high school wrestling practice was harder than any college football practice he ever attended.
It's the best workout there is, not to mention, a sport where you can blame no one else for your loss. On the flip side, it's all you if you win.
There is no teammate to look over and point to....that's it.
Win or lose, it's because of the move you put out there, and the move you did to get out of the moves put on you at the same time.
Having said that, the energy level and giving it your all makes it a very passionate sport.
You leave it all on the mat so it can get crazy.
It's many dad's dream sport, (if they arent the type that say their son won't be rolling around with another male) because of the one on one pressure.
But as much as a mom may love it (it's my favorite), it's a double edged sword for us. We feel bad if our kid loses but if he beats someone, we feel bad for cheering, cause someone was beat.
The best is watching a mom while her son's out there.
You can pick her out from anyone because as soon as the whistle blows she looks like she is slowly turning into a pretzel.
Whatever moves her child is placed in, she twists and turns the same way. It's hysterical.
But as much as the excitement can get to you, as much as you want your kid to be the one getting his arm raised high at the end, parents, can you TRY to control yourselves?
It's happeneing at many kids sports across the country, wrestling isn't the only one, where moms and dads, living through their kids, are getting to be a little too much.
Where on certain days, I have truly caught myself staring for minutes on end, wondering why this parent can't see how he or she is acting, even a little?
At wrestling it seems worse.
Maybe because it's indoor and in such close quarters that with the echoing, it's 100 times more loud.
They are screaming like their kid is two years old, in the middle of the street, with a truck coming.
They are hitting the mat, slapping it twelve times in a row, so loud that even the ref yesterday looked up from the match.
We all feel the same way about our kids.
And I realize that maybe my high school son should have more pressure, he's getting up there and it's becoming more "big time", but the Youth teams? Come on.
Sometimes it makes me wonder if I should worry about children's home life after this?
I have witnessed losses where as the kid leaves the mat and walks toward the family, the father has walked away before the son makes it over there. Really? It's THAT huge to you?
I'm not saying, don't get hyper. I'm not saying there aren't moments I don't get passionate.
Believe me, you're talking to (with wrestling) a mom, who could use tums by the handful before my sons go out, and now all four are wrestling!
And my husband? He has to pee every five seconds, starting three matches before our kids'.
It's nerveracking, for all of us.
And yes, you feel part of it, cause it's part of YOU out there, but again, NOT YOU.
I just wish, there could be a parent/child connection, safe enough for all of us to feel, love, hope for, express, and then have faith in.
If your kid wins, that's great.
You review what they did, congratulate them, and create some new moves for next time.
If they lose, you're disappointed. Maybe pissed.
But you review, hug them and create some new moves for next time.
I was never an athlete and I'm learning about all of it as I go.
But it doesnt take having been one, to know what kind of parent I want
to BE to one.
Don't be fairweathered and nuts-
Your time has come and gone, and your role now is audience and support.
Please don't embarass yourself (or your loved ones)and chill.

DON'T LOOK AROUND!

2011-01-14T13:44:00.004-05:00

Don't Look Around!
This is my endless advice to all of you.
This is the key element to TRULY embracing your day.
So many moms I talk to always ask me, with ten people in my house, how I ever relax on a given day. Especially a holiday, day off from school or weekend when everyone is home, and you want to just enjoy everybody.
No matter what your plan is, or when you decide to not have one,
NOT LOOKING AROUND, will take you places you have never been.
It is the #1 thing you have to do.
100% letting go, to an equal 100% being present, to have 100% enjoyment with your kids.
Say you wake up and shuffle one eye opened to your coffee pot.
If you see any dish "soaking" from last night, that you didnt get washed, still in the sink, that can be a "distraction".
It takes a piece of the coffee goodness away.
That looking forward to an orgasmic twenty minutes with your morning companion, turns to thinking of having to do that pot right after.
Drinking your Maxwell House is now sharing your mind with dishwashing.
Well, on a day you just want to chill with everyone, things work the
same way.
Tasks that you see, that need to be done, because were women, can become a barrier to the fullness of your precious moments.
So......don't look. DO NOT look around.
Im tellin you, it will help so mcuh.
Get the Connect 4 game down and keep your eyes on the shelf.
Shut the closet door without looking at the the floor.
Carry it to a table that is clean.
Play in a room as if there is spotlight on the game and the child
you are playing it with.
DON'T LOOK AROUND!
You can't help your brain from knowing a list of the other things that need to be taken care of, but you CAN help the eyes from REMIDNING your brain every two seconds.
If the phone rings-don't answer...it is a distraction.
Put your cell upstairs if you're in the family room.
Put it downstairs, if you're building a fort in the bedroom.
Distractions...
There will always be other things needing your attention...always.
And contrary to popular belief, they will still be there were you're
done having a good time.
Never, in the seventeen and a half years that I've been a mother,
have my things gotten up and walked out of our house because
it took me too long to get to them.
They arent going anywhere and even when you do get to them, helloooo...they'll need to be done again, in like, five minutes.
Enjoy your day with no regrets.
If you don't give in to the distraction, oh my gosh, it is so much more fun.
Is it always easy? No.
We are multi-taskers and can sometimes feel like were spinning if we sit for too long. But ladies you'll love it!
You put your whole heart into the house, your job, your errands,
You should embrace the best part of your life, and enjoy letting
yourself go...
Fall into a "family day", "afternoon", or "hour" with as much
power as your give a ZUMBA class.
Your kids will see a whole new you.
And when you've made even better memories because of it, you'll
master it in no time.
Go have fun this weekend with your ENTIRE being-
You (and your family) deserve it!
Hugs!

Hugs!

The Perfect Mom

2011-01-13T09:27:00.001-05:00

I, like you, believe I have seen her.
I can't remember if it was at the mall, or pre-school drop off, maybe it was at the park
last summer, but it could have been on vacation.
The perfect mom.
The look, the demeanor, the everything.
Her make-up. her perfectly groomed kids, the way she walked around, even her bag that seemed to have every single thing available at a whim.
There she stood, chatting with other moms, laughing the day away.
She's not distracted by what she will need to do later or how her house looks if someone stops by when she gets home.
Because it's all done, it's sparkling clean with a roast in the crock pot.
She looks like that, and has, in all that is her perfectness, probably mastered everything there is to do. She probably even lets her kids finger paint!
Because she is simply, that perfect.
After I figure all of this out, I keep staring. I look down at my own bag, all tattered with a stain. It's from Target and last years model.
Then I look at my outfit, it's not bad but I can't put it all together to look cute-and don't get me started on my house right now.
After realizing, I am alone in this, I stoop to a new level, one that I'm not too proud of. I go flaw searching. I talk about her, this innocent woman.
She didn't do anything to me...except flaunt her "all that" self around me at the playground. I mean, that's not cool.
So there I stand, giving excuses---She's probably not a nice person, maybe she's a mean mom, yeah, that's it. And she never plays with her kids, look at her showing off.
Whateverrrr.
What is it with us girls? We've all done it.
Maybe not with looks (because I'm exaggerating here to make my point), or "things", but maybe you see a sweet, simple mom.
Who just makes balancing look so easy
or seems to have created the perfect formula to makes life work.
We've all taken a mental-back seat at one time or another, thinking were inferior to another mom's magical being.
A mom that is ten times better than you, even on your best day.
Or so you think....
But stop right there. Why continue? Let me clue you in on something. Something huge. Something very important.
You haven't seen her. And as much as I want to believe MY eyes, I haven't either.
You haven't happened upon her at the schools, or an engagement you've attended.
Haven't been introduced at Bunco or the elementary school fair. She doesn't exist, at all.
Not anywhere, it's a mirage. That image was NEVER there, so yes, you're seeing things.
There is not such a person walking the earth. Not today, next week, or next year.
And the sooner we realize that, the better off we (and those we love) will be.
As soon as we can accept ourselves with a forgotten library book, an undone list, or yes,
even a wrinkle on that infamous superwoman cape of ours,
the sooner we can truly embrace all of the things that we do complete, wonderfully.
It will always equal out somehow, were human.
So if you look great, you probably have a house that's a wreck.
If your kids are always well-behaved, you probably aren't a great cook.
If you're always on time, I'm sure you don't get out much.
For every positive, each woman, yes EACH ONE, has a negative.
And if you remind yourself of that, you will be able to "forgive" someone for looking
like perfection.
You will learn to smile at someones "plus" while embracing your "minus".
Like-"Wow, that's great that your car is spotless, but I prefer mine, my kids always have something to grab for show-n-tell."
See?? Cool huh?
Love what you're made of and what that offers your family and friends.
You would never be happier is anyone else's shoes, so don't be happy wishing
your act, (or hair), was that well put-together either.
We, as women, need to stick together, we are one.
And each one of us IS perfect, just the way we are.
Hugs!

List or No List?

2011-01-12T11:40:00.001-05:00

Lists to me, are simply a double-edged sword. A list in itself is a great idea.
It is a paper, most of the time super cute because for some reason it is the only pad we are always willing to spend good money on.
As if that little animal, or phrase in the left hand corner, is gonna help us make things happen. And we do believe it will, so the process begins at Target by forking out $4.99 for this newest "companion" of ours.
It will happily be filled with what we either are planning on buying , needing to do, or dream of getting accomplished, before we die.
A list can be like a good friend. It has every intention of making your life sweet and making things better. It is something written only when in the mood- feeling, like you, (tomorrow of course) will be tackiling the world.
Your list is immediately partnered up with it's universal soulmate-a plan.
And the plan always consists of two things-getting up early because there is so much to do and then having the motivation of three countries to do it, having it all crossed off by dinner.
Yes, it's a wonderful feeling, writing one, and it can be organization all in itself.
From cementing it all in your brain, reminding you of all there is to do.
But the question is, will you use it? Will you take it, rip it off, and swear by all things that it will go into your bag and be used?
Or will you leave it sitting nicely on that couch of yours until it falls, by the wind of someone walking by, deep within the cushions, never to be remembered (or found) again.
Think about it, are you REALLY a list person?
This can be answered in remembering, in memory, all of your past list experiences-
Were they loved? Used until they were little wrinkled up pieces, helpful to every store you entered?
Or was there writing that ended with putting the pen down next to them on the table?
Be honest, was the last thing you remember about your list, scribbling a phone message on it?
Are you a "USER" of the list? You write them to simply procrastinate (even for 10 minutes) having to start the things on it?
That's alright too..I dont know if they're all that loyal to you either.
Lists can be motivators but they can also, on occasion, help lead to forms of depression.
First, I have found that they can remind you of how little money you have to do and buy all you have written of.
But second, and most importantly, they can turn the end of what you may have throught was a productive day, into an evening of LOOK HOW HARD I BUST MY BUTT AND ONLY CROSSED OFF THREE THINGS, song and dance.
There is nothing worse than bursting a mother's bubble that only floats by once or twice, every few weeks.
So maybe it IS for you, maybe no, and that's okay.
Whatever helps you get, or amazingly, STAY motivated and on task is what you need in your life.
But to anyone out there, I think I may have a solution.
A way that no matter what type you are, you can still feel great and get to use that awesome notepad of yours.
Instead of a list in the morning, we should all do one at night, in fact, EVERY night.
Doesn't matter how tired or what you FEEL you accompolished-
Every mother in the world should brush their teeth, get in bed and write down everything
they did that day, and then lay there, crossing them off.
I bet you, no matter what kind of day you had, you'd be amazed.
After all, even on an off day, we freaking rock.
Let me know if it works!!
Hugs!

Who are you??

2010-12-15T10:09:00.001-05:00

I dont know if you're like me but the holidays really give me an overwhelming sense of the
"giving bug".
It's already such an expensive time for people, and with each child added to our brood, it gets more pricey :).
You have your own family's gifts, the relatives, the tree, decorations, and then bigger food bills with all of the entertaining.
But aside from that, my heart goes out to the many families in need and collections that are taken up throughout my area.
I know we can't help everyone but even if it's a few dollars, along with someone else's, it can add up.
I buy my kid's teachers gifts throughout the year, and at Christmas, I admit, pretty nice ones.
I love them and they are such a huge part of my children's days.
And then we buy little presents (lottery tickets, etc) for our mailmen, trashmen, etc.
But now, as the older kids are more involved in things, the demand is getting greater and somewhat endless.
For example, this year-there are not only classroom parties but polyannas too.
Even the cheerleading squads are having an exchange.
Along with these parties are the festivities, which include a donation of food items and then money for the pizza orders.
A little something for their coaches would be nice.
And even if you buy on your own gift, the moms will take up a collection and you'll look like a cheap-butt if you dont contribute.
You want to anyway, so you do.
So that's just home and school, then we go to the public places-
And as if you didnt feel bad enough already, it is now officially public knowledge if you decline!
CVS, my grocery store, and even Target have the DONATE $1.oo on the debit/credit card screen now. On top of that, some even ask out loud anyway, when you're getting ready to pay-
Great, so everyone around me can think, look at this chick! What a tight wad.
I was at CVS three times this week-do they know I hit the yes THOSE times and really need that dollar for my next errand??
And then the ever-so-precious red cans with the bell ringers at every mall and store this season?
You are drawn like a magnet, feeling the need, even if it's just change from what you just bought that hadn't made it to your wallet yet.
When do you decide that you have given enough? Is that possible? And how do you let guilt not enter the scene?
While my kids were getting ready for school this morning, I was reviewing in my mind the shopping I had competed so far and who I still needed to buy for.
I was secretly checking off my list, feeling good that I would be exactly on budget this year! Whoohoo!
Immediately that thought was interuppted with one son reminding me about a school collection that was due today.
The celebration froze.
I really did feel like I had done a lot, is that bad to feel??
And it wasnt even that I didn't WANT to give something else, I just had this fleeting thought, this quick jolt of WHEN DO I STOP?
Is there a line that is drawn in giving, and how do you ever know if you have done enough?
My face must have given my thoughts away.
I would never SAY those words but I think my look was like, are you kidding me? Really?? Something else??
My heart didn't mean it, but there will surely be others donating...right?
My son smiled this ever-so-sweet smile and as he walked to the
door said, "But mom, were the Hale's."
Wow.
It was like electric shock-a combination of feelings ran through me.
And although it didn't answer my question of when, I was assured at that moment, that
we have shown the meaning of giving, the more important point of it all.
Roman and I have had such a rollercoaster ride getting married so young and then deciding to have self employment with a large family.
Years of ease; huge jobs rolled in and we took extra trips to the beach and went out to dinner a lot more.
And then years of tightening the belt. Sacrificing, and sacrificing more, and bringing things to the minimal.
But in either situation, we gave.
Not for credit anywhere, a lot of times nameless...but always, no matter what our situation.
You make decisions as a family, but do you ever really know if your kids are getting it?
If they really do grasp that their life isn't as hard as they make it sound-and that others really do need you to care.
That there are so many people that would love to have your 4 YR OLD playstation.
You pray they do, but hearing a child believes that giving goes along with your family's name? That was simply priceless.
I shared with my friends that this year we called Salvation Army to help with any recent needs they had. Their first response to me was asking if it was court ordered.
Um, no we just want to help out...Ohhh, she said.
I don't want to believe that it is more common to hear from people that HAVE to help, any more
than I want to believe that there is actually an answer to my question of when you can finally stop your giving...
Should you donate money instead of paying your water bill? No. But I do think we always picture finance as donation.
Along with your gift of time, you are able to give your family our life's most awesome present-compassion.
2010, is such a confusing time. People are budgeting while others are building mansions. People are broke while others are racking up credit cards not knowing how they're going to pay the bills.
The foundation of our country always ends up focusing our world on the financial-and look where that's gotten everyone.
If we could turn inward, having heart could cure it all.
Your heart can help you make the right choices so that you become "successful", but even better, is it can make a difference wherever you go in your life.
I was taught a lesson only seconds after I posed my question, and it was answered
by my fifth grade son.
You give of what you can, because of who you are.

Happy Holidays from one proud mama to another..Hugs!

The Hale Family~You just gotta laugh.: Are YOU ready?

2010-12-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

The Hale Family~You just gotta laugh.: Are YOU ready?: "I'd love to sit today and brag like I was listening to some women do yesterday- I'd love to tell you all how organized I am with the upcomin..."

Are YOU ready?

2010-12-13T14:26:00.000-05:00

I'd love to sit today and brag like I was listening to some women do yesterday-
I'd love to tell you all how organized I am with the upcoming holiday festivities and that 98 % of
my gifts were bought and wrapped. That there was nothing needed for this coming weekend and my inlaws visit, but the actual trip to Sams Club, because even the list was written and in my wallet. That my house was spotless, the liquor cabinet stocked, and all the stocking stuffers were in a great hiding spot...all just simply waiting for the day to come.
But, um...no.
While yes, we did clean this weekend, it really doesn't look like it anymore...
We had wrestling tournaments, birthday parties and the nutcracker performance. We had to return outdoor lights that didnt match the sets we were short on, and someone needed new contacts. Then there was the parent teacher conferences that were every few hours, spread out just enough that there wasn't much to get done in between....
But having said that, for some reason, INSIDE, it doesn't change a thing-
Regardless of where I am in the "holiday shuffle", this time of year has a spark that can't be taken from inside of me. Nothing that gets, or doesnt get done, changes the feeling I have listening to the songs, lighting our candles or watching Rudolph for the 45th time.
It doesn't make my baking (well, buying the premade dough and decorating) more rushed, or
shlepping up a hill for miles to find a tree that ten people agree on any less hysterical.
Christmas spirit is like the flu in the wintertime around here-spread across each floor of the house and hitting all in it's path.
No matter how far you are from "being done", preparing and shopping for the holidays are part of the fun...one of the ingredients of the recipe that will become your children's tradition.
It's not a race or a contest, and certainly shouldn't be taking away the joy in even a last minute trip to the mall with your adorable scarf on.
Have fun in even the little things. Show your kids it really is all about what you make it, and you're planning on making it BEAUTIFUL.
Hugs :)