"My Main Man"

An amazing husband. 
And unimaginable dad. 
Neither possible, without first, being a good man.

Blind date or not, even when we were young(er), my now
husband Roman's,
heart and soul are the same today, as they were,
nineteen years ago.

A core built on life's simplest things-
Foundation -made of honesty, and being a moral man.
Strengthened by walls of undying love for his family.
All safe under the roof of creating a life that would make God himself, proud.

Think he's corny?  Oh well. 
Think he has a gullible wife?  Who cares.
Think it's short-lived?  Then you need to know him.
This is who he is.

My teammate, partner in crime, best friend, has been by my side since
our second date.
We were a long shot yes, but both of us knew the truth.
We couldn't stop calling each other..
We made dates for almost every day of the week.
And hey, I still like talking to him! :)
Marriage, parenting, living together every day, no one said it was easy all the time.
If they did, they'd be lying-
But all you need is to know is there is no one else you'd rather
ride the roller coaster with....and that, we have!

We were sent a "surprise" at a young age and never did he take a
step back from that crazy news.
Our family had begun, and although we both felt it was God's plan for us, and
completely meant to be,
we had no idea what was in store for the future.

Life's ride has taught us more about each other than anything could.
Through heartbreaking losses in our family-
a shoulder to cry on and words of light
and purpose for it all.
To the most beautiful of days, the birth of our eight children. 
The greatest moments we will ever know.
Each thing, bringing us to know the heart of the other even more.
And with all that comes our way, the smile on my husband's face, has
never faded.
Being a man, of course sometimes he says things in few words, but
his arms are always open....
No worry, no need to discect things-it's just life, were blessed.
Even when things are a challenge, we will be okay.
It's today's distraction, it'll all be good.

As a dad, there is almost nothing I can say about his love for
the position.
I have never met someone so addicted, so proud...
We know God put us together because of that mutual quality.
Never did we think we'd have a small family,
but I don't think imagining two more
than the Brady Bunch, was invisioned either.
With each birth, that same unexplainable feeling fills you...
And adds to your heart, another portion of what life is supposed to be----

Every day I watch my husband, the human jungle-gym,
devour this role like nobody's business.
It is something that no woman can explain, watching their husband
with their kids.
Just so lucky to have the full circle of life in your home.
People say were crazy, it's okay-
We love it...if you're life is crazy, your life is full.

During every huge, small, or in between moment, Roman is the the voice of
reason, strenth
and a billboard that shouts Nothings Impossible.
He has an insane work ethic topped with the one thing that sometimes does
bother me, never needing a plan.  :)

The heart of 100 men, doesn't just rear it's head when all is well.
The economic meltdown hit us, and hit us hard- about five years ago.
Everything we worked to attain and have for our future was taken
away in the matter of
months, leaving us with only our humility.

Not a single time, did the man I love, ever take the low road.
We sat at our kitchen table and prayed.
We asked for direction and help in decision making.
We had partners that didn't pull their weight.
We lost money to banks with broken promises.
Yet, we slept at night...due to knowing this was somehow in our life's plan.
Somehow this would make us smarter, stronger, better.
Maybe just show our kids that life won't always be easy or fair.
But it will end, and you will be okay--

Nineteen years ago, I was sent this blessing-
Wrapped up in (if I must say) some very nice muscles,
and a goosebump giving smile.
This blessing taught me to not be afraid to try things others may not be doing.
But more importantly, we were gonna do them and good things were gonna happen.
He was right. 
I used to care what people thought-I used to think that it mattered.
But now I live a life that is more fun than the average, probably because it's so different
than anyone else's.

Together we just have a zest for life, and it is made easy for me, because of him.
He wants to live for today-
Not looking back, or even forward during it.
Just being happy-
And that in turn, has made our family happy, our kids happy.

To our four sons, he shows the picture of love for a wife,
honor for a mother,
and what the definition of commitment should be.

To our four daughters, he is an example of what you want
to find in a future man. 
What you deserve to be treated like, and to walk through the world, next to.

Things aren't always bright and perfect, and things can throw you
off your course if you let them.
We've had both, like everyone else.
That's the way it goes..
But if you're lucky, you will feel the hand of someone you love,
wrapped around yours, and walk the road together.
You can look over and say the smallest of things, or the greatest of things.
And with them, even if nothing is said, just having them there, is enough.

Last year there was a song that reminded me, in one sentence, of how
my husband makes me feel...
"I see the best of me inside your eyes".

Thanks Ro.  I know I don't tell you enough, but thank you.

http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-husband-rocks-writing-contest.html

And off she goes...

It was nothing as I pictured.  Really.

Nothing about it was how I thought it'd look, feel or be...

I mean I knew I'd be emotional, duh, but all the rest of it was like a dream

or something.

A feeling I really can't describe because it's not how I've ever allowed

myself to feel.

All of the huge moments leading up to these past few days have been so

insane.

And the fact that I am who I am, and am obsessed with embracing them all,

and truly eating them up individually, had them come one by one,

but at lightening speed.

The cheer banquet, was the green light in my mind that things were

coming to a close...

And I had told myself that once we got the letter regarding the end of
the year festivities,
it was going to tidal wave.  And it did.

Shopping for prom dresses, online Sr week house views,
her two week notice for work, announcements,
the cap and gown coming....
But I still filled my busy brain with party planning and all of her
friend's celebrations-
leading up to grad night. 
All wonderful distractions-literally, holding on by five fingers, that slowing were
slipping to four, and then three...
Until Monday night, when I found myself holding, as tight as I could, with just a thumb.
High up in the stands, with my family and a heart that had never felt the way
it did, at that moment.

The music started and over four hundred young adults started to make
their way to an arena
filled with moms and dads holding cameras, video recorders and
overwhelming love for someone in
that line.
It gave me chills.  I knew that this was it.  Here they come.

We waited, as she waited. 
There Lexi was in line, braided hair, flip flops...that is who she is now.
That is who she turned out to be...

I flashed for a second to Kindergarten graduation-where I
remember imagining this day.
Not even being able to picture what kind of personality would
take over her life.
Would she be outgoing, or shy. 
Into style or creative.
Would she be athletic?  
And oh my gosh, what would she look like? 

I couldn't imagine that morning, 12 years ago,  as I snapped her picture
with Mrs Cuskey, her first ever teacher,
that all those questions would be answered so fast.
I had heard it would, but here we are.
And there she is.

We held hands and it was in seconds, "ALEXIS MARIE HALE".
My world was silent. 
She shook a few hands and walked down the aisle.
My eyes filled up and I just stared until a small speech of
hope for the future was spoken
and hats filled the sky...
It was over.
Childhood, the school years, anything I had ever known...

And yet, the feeling as I cried was not what I thought I'd feel.
I assumed I would feel loss.
And although the first thought naturally is to cry for the loss
of what was ending,
I was so overwhelmed with excitement for her, I never let
myself go there.

I spent eighteen years, embracing, enjoying, making memories...
with all the time
I had in that chapter.
My heart was so full of that time in our life, it absorbed any part
of what others may regret or look back sadly upon.
I stood with only the beauty of witnessing our firstborn turn
into woman,
with just the call of her name.

Looking back on this year, speeding by on the track one million
miles an hour,
it really seemed to feel we would have more time to fit all these last
school-age milestones in.
And there is still a few left regarding all of it.

We have some shopping trips planned, which is always fun.
Sr week is coming, so I'm sure to remember 20 years ago, when I
go and grab some cases of mac and cheese
and a few bags of junk food
for them. :)
And we have our week at the beach at the beginning of July.
Full of the annual fun and craziness~
But this year, it will be sprinkled with
some bitter sweet.

This will be the first family vacation, where thinking about going, is
gonna be tough.
I can't wait to spend hours relaxing, having no plan- just enjoying
everybody together.
But the third day, Roman and I will be leaving the gang with my
family, to take a drive.
The drive to drop our child off at summer session, where unlike the ceremony's
tears, will not end with hugging our little
girl and bringing her home.
Somehow, maybe only with God's grace (and the strength to move mountains),
we will be hugging her and then leaving.

How I will do it-how I will kiss her face and walk down a hall that
isn't linking her bedroom to mine-
I cannot imagine.
I don't know how something so foreign, or unnatural happens. 
I just don't.
But I will be.

This new phase will be nothing like the one I knew...but it
doesn't mean it wont be just as amazing.
Just in a different way.
Each of the chapters in their book will be full of all new things-
I think that most parents' heart aches at chapter 2
though, because
unlike the last, these next years, don't have your name
next to theirs on every page.

This next section, has them as the main character.
And although you will enter certain scenes,
these are roads they will travel without you driving.

God has it right on, ages they will start pulling back, and
wanting to be more independent.
He purposely has them getting annoyed and gravitating toward friends.
It's no accident it happens that way.
He gives us all this time~from holding them as newborns to their
eighteenth birthdays.
Time to kiss them, and hug them, and share in their memories. 
To be part of their life, every single day.

All of this, for all of us. 
So that it isn't just over night, because it is bound
to feel like it.
It's gradual as you look back, but will be hard regardless.
And knowing that early on, can help to embrace even the smallest of things-
So you, like me, can look back and smile through the tears.

The other night we were watching a movie and Lex was sitting next to me.
She fell asleep and ended up with her head on my lap.
After everyone went up to bed, I just sat there and leaned
over to rest mine near hers.
I didn't leave.
My leg was asleep at times, and my arm from time to time,
but it didn't matter.
If someone offered me $10,000 to get up I wouldn't have.
I was as comfortable as I could ever be.
We slept that way all night.

I will miss every day that I don't get to see the face I feel I've known my whole life.
I will miss all the coffee runs and the calls from the shower that she
forgot a towel.
I will miss just jumping on her bed to find out the latest gossip.
Or having her tell me that my belt looks stupid but she has an even
better one that would look great.
I will feel sad knowing how much all her brothers and sisters
will miss her being around.
And oh, how will I ever handle, not getting a kiss before going to bed,
knowing everyone is here, under one roof.

But this adventure of hers is about to begin, and it has endless possibility.
It can't happen if things stay the same, so we are doing this!
I have a new role now, and just like for her, it has never been.
So exciting!  So full of promise!!

Congratulations Lexi-
As Dad and I said at your toast-
You were our only "surprise", and what an amazing one
you were.
We never had a huge amount of money,
but you are the first of eight things, that have always made us feel rich.

No matter where you are living or even sleeping at night,
I will forever feel like that night on the couch~
You will always be that close to my heart.

I love you sooo much and am so proud of you baby girl!!!!

Hugs! :)