MUST THERE BE...?

Must there be? A banana sticker put on my candle holder?

Must there be? Probably thirty two old VHS tapes, I cleaned out this
weekend, in perfect condition, with one
home movie accidentally stuck in the middle, frayed tape sticking out of it.

Must there be? A (reminder of) a receipt on my counter, for the $380
worth of upgrades we had to make to the mini van, only two days
before it burned to the ground?

Must there be? For some craaaaazy reason, no baseball games scheduled
the entire beginning of the week
all four, same night, same time, different fields.

Must there be? Someone who takes out a single photo from the picture
coasters we have, so there can't be a whole set?

Must there be? A never-had-kids-before model, showing me what my what my
"hide-your tummy" bathing suit that I ordered, will look like, on me?

Must there be?  Literally, eleven different styled, single, black socks, in the same size?

And finally, cracking up as my one year old, surrounded by a hundred toys, chooses
instead, to climb under the desk as I type this, and pull the
computer mouse cord for entertainment.
Just sayin-  crackin up.
Hugs!

Laundry~

Okay, really?
Someone really needs to get a grip.
If it is this way, after all this time, it may be a hint that it will NEVER change.

My laundry room is ...just ugh.
People laugh and joke and kid, and I am a gamer...I am a positive person,
I like to smile as much as the next guy...
But this area of the house?  It is sincerely no joking matter.

In fact, come to think of it, nothing regarding any part of clothes, even
touches something
funny, around here.
Not seeing them, buying them, washing them, folding them...and certainly not
putting them away.

The endless piles, endless cycles, endless dirty, clean, stained, folded...
Even seeing the basket, empty or full, is enough to give me this feeling in
my stomach,
that although I have only heard of what panic attacks are like,
may give me one.

In the house we are in now, there is a laundry shoot.
I have talked about it before-being a play toy for my boys when we first
moved here.
Well, my husband seems to think it is someone of a family treasure...being
so handy and such.
"Look hon, everyone can just toss you their stuff at night, it'll make it so easy
 for you."

Easy?  Have you lived with us for long?  Did you just get here?

As if he resides in a world where it's all done, every load of clothes,
but the last of the evening.
Yeah, the family is just stripping down after a productive end of the day...
And lined up, one by one, they just
take turns tossing two pieces of clothing each, downstairs.

And there I am, can you picture me?
I stand, apron and all, at the bottom-
Big smile ready, with my fluffy little basket..
Waiting patiently in my spotless laundry room, for just this one load.
That will keep me caught up, forever...

Newsflash!  This tunnel of love, in his eyes, is (in mine), the pit of disaster.
Not only does it scream to be fun for the boys, it also has a benefit to
the "shady" Hale kids-
Their own personal, "sneaky shoot".

We have neat organized kids and we also have the other kind-
Ones that have mountains, (clean or dirty, who knows) all over the floor,
in their closets, under the beds...
You name it.

Now, these are the kids that of course, you need to tell to clean their rooms.
They don't have to have it nice, don't care if it's tidy.
And when that day (of the freakin year) comes, guess what is guaranteed to
happen?
YES. 
The tunnel is immediately beckoned upon, requested to have yet
another job-storage unit. 
Like the woman at the bottom of it, will never notice such a thing.

Is it just coincidence that the days you clean, it is stuffed so tight, it doesn't move?
Are you kiddin me??

Every single time, my lecture of cleaning up, is put upon them, the shoot literally
vomits, over half of what
I saw in their rooms, all over me.

Having said that, the family was called for a recent living room meeting.
In part due to this issue,
but even worse?
Due to the sight of one of the most disturbing things I have
witnessed in my eighteen years of being a mother.

All waited with wide eyes, wondering what this INSULT to me could be-
There was chatter, and then I entered the room, intent on proving my point.
I took out the "evidence" and lifted above my head, high in the air.
I (dramatically) pointed at it, as I called out in my "stern" voice....
THIS!!  THIS CAME THROUGH MY SHOOT TODAY!!!
In hand?
A size 8, boys t-shirt, folded.

There were no smiles, or laughs, although I did expect them...
Maybe some confusion, but only until further explanation.

"I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TEN OUTFITS A DAY, MANY OF THEM
SMELLY AND NOT ENJOYABLE TO HANDLE.
THAT IS ADDED TO ALL THE TOWELS YOU USE, BLANKETS AND
SHEET YOU SLEEP ON,
AND ANYTHING PEED OR PUKED ON AT ANY TIME,
SO, I DESERVE SOME RESPECT.

EVERY PIECE OF CLOTHING HAS ITS OWN JOURNEY. 
IT BEGINS
WHEN YOU TAKE IT OFF AND HAS A LONG WAY TO
TRAVEL UNTIL
IT GETS ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE WORN.

IT GOES DOWN OUR SHOOT, INTO A BASKET. 
FROM THAT BASKET
IT WAITS PATIENTLY TO GET WASHED. 
AND THEN DRIED. 
AND PUT INTO ANOTHER BASKET. 
IT THEN RIDES UPSTAIRS WHERE IT GETS FOLDED AND TAKEN TO
A ROOM, UNTIL SOMEONE DECIDES (OR DOESN'T DECIDE)
TO PUT IT INTO A DRAWER.

ONLY THEN WILL IT GET TO BE PUT ON YOU, AND WORN
AROUND SCHOOL, SEEING EVERYONE AGAIN.

NOW IMAGINE, AFTER ALL THAT IT HAD TO GO THROUGH,
SOMEONE PICKS HIM UP AND
DROPS HIM TO THE FLOOR.
WELL, THAT IS SAD ENOUGH.
BUT THEN...YES,
THEN, HE GETS SWIPED UP AND THROWN INTO A PILE OF DIRTY THINGS...
AND FROM THERE, RIGHT BACK DOWN
THE SHOOT HE JUST GOT BACK FROM? 
NEVER EVEN GETTING THE CHANCE TO BE WORN!"

Even my older kids just stared at me. 
Did anyone get it?  I prayed they did...
I also hoped I didn't scar the little guys-
Making it like the shirt was alive. 
But I really wanted them to get it-there was a bigger lesson at hand. 
And that was, what the heck?

No one knew who's fault this was-
It was a size 8, but that does not mean, around here, it was the guilty party.
The point was--
Am I to bust my butt, wasting my time, and detergent, washing clean clothes too??
It's hard enough to complete the cycle for articles that truly need it.
This had to be discussed and now.
Before I ever had to feel that way again!!!

I haven't seen another folded thing come to me since.
Maybe some clean(er) things, but I wouldn't dare test,
to find that out for sure...
Just trying to open minds around here to my curse...the endless piles that consume my
every breathing moment.
Almost calling my name through the vents with every step I take around my house...

"Jennyyyy....
I know you can heearrrr meeeeeee, come wash us...."
Ugh, i have the willies just thinking of it down there....

Laundry is the worst.
I have tried sorting, buying cute bins, even the best smelling
detergents, etc to try and motivate---
Um, nothin...
It's like trying to eat a Popsicle in a snowstorm,
just not gonna happen....

I just grin and bear it, knowing it's part of having the large gang that I love...

Are you waiting for a point?
Nope, no great-ending-lesson, or moral.
Just sharing my "Hale Hurdle"...

So, next time you are at your washer, and feeling like a mountain
from you- know-where, think of me.
Not only may you laugh, but if you picture my pile,
you're sure to feel so much better !!!!   :)

Hugs! :)

A Thank You On Mothers Day :*

To My Eight Children,

Today is Mothers Day and I just want to say thanks to you.
Never before I had kids, did I know how I would feel or how I
would be, having a family of my own...
Let alone, that I would EVER have two more than the Brady Bunch!

I knew I had the heart for it, and that I could love someone
with all I am.
But the journey of creating, giving birth, and then raising
them to be a good people...you just don't know, til you do it,
what it really entails.

You don't know, really know, how much love you will feel.
Because you never knew you could love something, more
than the word love...
You don't know the bond you will already have, even before birth, or
the feeling of becoming an instant human shield.  Ready and
willing to keep you safe forever.

No one can prepare you for seeing you walk for the first time, or
say mama...
Getting your first homemade gift from Preschool or taking you to
the bus stop and letting go of your hand to climb the steps
 for the first real time away.

Watching your activities-
From the times that you would wave and wave, over and over again...
So excited to see me, so happy I'm there...
To feeling that little pinch, as it turned into only a smile, and only, when
no one else was looking.
And then I catch glimpses of you getting older-
With not much of a warning
that I'd see you less, or become more of a bother.

Soon, the friends take over this child of mine.
The one that used to want to hug me, and lay with me-
I never knew it would come on so fast....and how much
I would miss you.
Within what felt like no time, I'm now forced to untie the strings
and be okay with no longer needing me for much....

But I am still here, and will be, forever...smiling through teary eyes.
Remembering all the years, the beautiful, most amazing years, that you
were small, and I got to watch you grow.

Lily, you are still our "baby"-
Our "Lils".  Our sweet, chubby Lulu...
I'm so glad we decided on "one more" or we would never know you-
You fit right into the madhouse and everyone loves you so much. 
Your smile is addictive, and never fades-:)
Sooo happy all the time,
the best baby anyone could ask for. 

Reese, you are a bright star in this family. 
You take on the role under four brothers like it's no
body's business. 
You win for the most stylist Hale, hands down.
With the cutest pipsqueak voice ever heard.
And, (drum roll please), you are the first child of mine, to look like me!!!
Do you know how exciting that is Reese??  SOOOO EXCITING!!!

Mason, I don't think anyone has made us laugh more. 
You are witty and charming. 
And have the best one liners ever. 
I know you get tripped and wrestled down most of your days,
but you hold your own very well. 
You have a lot of love in that heart of yours.

Max, you are our Yoda. 
You lived a long time ago and I really believe knew a lot and shared a lot.
You are a leader-very wise and kind. 
Probably more than you will ever know-
I think that is why you were sent to us on 9/11/01. 
You were a gift to the world on a very sad day, to give us hope for
a beautiful future. 

G-man, you are so freakin cute! 
You have gone from the peanut of the family, to "da man"...
So organized, so together-trying so hard at everything you do, EVERYTHING.
I love that I have a boy who
washes his face and brushes his teeth because he wants to. 
And always there as my date to watch action movies---
You're awesome.
 
Reilly, what do I say to the future's best mom ever? 
You have been a little mommy since birth and
my right hand woman. 
I love our talks-
I know whatever I think is adorable or cute, you will be just as excited
and emotional.
Someone who organizes while I'm out, just cause she wants to, needs
a business plan..;0
You are an amazing young woman already!

Gabe, I cannot believe I have a son that is taller (and bigger) then me. 
I never thought that would happen.
It was just too far away for me to imagine. 
You are so handsome and funny....and talented.
As much as I hear that everyone is annoying, I watch you with the kids
when you aren't looking and it makes me smile. 
You have a lot of love and will be an amazing dad one day.

Lexi, you were our first. 
I don't remember this love without you in our lives...we never experienced
it before.
I know you're embarrassed, we talk about your milestones a lot because
it's our first time at it all.
You were leaving for Kindergarten and now have 25 days left of Sr year. 
Almost done with our "first chapter",  please know we are so proud
of what your values have become, and that addictive spirit of yours...
Keep that with you forever. 

I love you all so much and thank God every day for the absolute
honor he gave me, trusting me
to see you through this life with us.
I hope that Daddy and I show you a life full of fun, and love, and make
you never afraid of choosing things that may seem scary or different. 
Being happy, and caring about others, will take you wherever
God's plan for you will be.
Love you!!!!!!!

And finally, to my own mom, who showed me every ounce of the love
that I have adopted...
Happy Mothers Day.

No one could ever ask for a better example of what to strive to be.
You were the definition of love for my sisters and me, and we miss your
face every single day.
I hope I make you proud with my traditions and unending promise to
make all the little moments in life, grand memories.
Even from heaven, you have reminded me of what truly matters and I will
love even better because of that.
Thank you for making me who I am today.
Without you, I wouldn't have any of what matters the most.

Happy Day to every mom out there!  Enjoy the best things in life~

Hugs :)

one day rule

every household is run in a different way.
we all have things that are huge for us, and things we aren't going to be
sticklers about.
if we compared them all, i bet there are things we all agree on-
respect, manners, good grades...
and then things we differ on-those "field were willing to die on" options-
that vary from family to family...
and that's good-that's what makes the world go round----

growing up the one thing that i would put high upon almost any other, that my parents had,
was something my mom called-the one day rule.

my mom was a teacher before she had kids.
and once she had us, she decided to stay home.
although she eventually opened her piano studio, she always taught in in the evenings-
dinner hr and on, a few nights a week, so
she was still home during the days with us...
but it was known, that it in no way meant she was our errand boy.

our home was not strict, there were three girls...and we weren't ornery...
no one farted at the table or told wiener jokes.
we played school and barbies, and (except for one lapse of judgement on
a weekend my sophomore yr)
i really did tell my parents where i would be all the time, and checked in, etc...
so yes, we'd be grounded for drama, or hormonal rants, but there didn't
need to be 1,000 rules
around the house.

having said that, the ONE DAY RULE really sticks out in my mind-
one, because it was talked about often, and two, because i hated it.
the ONE DAY RULE was this:
an annual get out of jail free card, issued by mom, for when you forgot
something and needed it run
to school.
could be anything-a paper you wrote, gym uniform, whatever...
but it was ONCE, and only ONCE.
so you knew, it better be worth it...
and there friends, was the biggest dilemma of all-
when to use it.

looking back, it was a lesson just the elimination process itself.
i'm sure certain years, there were bigger decisions than others-
and depending on how far through the year it was, it became
easier to decide.
if it was earlier in the school year, i'm sure i had to think
harder and
weigh if something bigger could possibly come into play later into the semester...
and then it was up to you, to make the call from the Sr lounge,
and give the go ahead..

no hopes in forgetting on her part either-
you just considered that card of yours stamped-
because after that, it was next sept until
you'd be picking that phone up again...
that's it, fork pit.

wow, as a mom now, i now know how hard that must have been.
when you're young, you think...geez...you're just at home mom...
taking care of two babies, yea, but what's the big deal?

can't you hook me up??
don't you WANT me to do well?? 
hand it in? 
have it?
don't you love me??
and now i sit, knowing she was hooking me up
she wanted me to do well
did want me to have it
and loved me so much, that she would come, ONLY ONCE.

in fact, she was probably hooking me up the days she "wouldn't",
more then the one day, she did
and it took more love to NOT come,
but ugh, its hard.

we want to save the day, really, we do...
but the more we wear the cape, the more they aren't becoming the hero...
every time we run this thing in, or drop that thing off. we are taking
away that tiny part in their brain that may stand up taller, to remember next time.

the quote "this will hurt me more than it hurts you", used to be
a joke to all of us, didn't it?
yeah right, we thought, i'm gettin the spankin..
but now as a mom myself, i see it.
you are looking into the eyes of someone you love more than life,
and having
to put your foot down-
no ice cream, missing a party, or going to bed early-
and now as they are older,
no, i cannot bring that in today.

some of us wont even be able to do it... it tugs too hard at your heart strings.
but as much of parenting consists of, many hard decisions
lead to even better outcomes.
i believe one of the things that could help this current generation,
is more parenting, like
we may have had.

moms and dads who are setting early lessons of "life",
the real world that our kids will one day be standing in.
and that universe of theirs, will not be completing itself
with their own personal phone booth,
to have mom pop out of, to the superman theme song-
as with everything else that includes our kids, no one said
this was gonna be easy---
these moments are the teachable ones...and only you
can make the call.

i say all of this as i sit looking at my freshman son's, homemade, mexican bean, fiesta dip,
that he woke up to heat, at five forty- five this morning-
it is on the counter, next to the oven,
on a silver platter, filled with tostitos and a handwritten recipe card.

and so it continues.....






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