It's Like a Bomb Went Off-

In so many ways, I've come so far-
I really have learned lessons in balancing almost 85 % of things that go on in this circus
act, that is my life.
It's not so much really even directing myself or prioritizing, but
more of an "embracing"
and then immediately after that, letting go of some things...

Like in all the houses around the world, starting at the sunrise
of the day-
we awake to our schedules, whatever they may be, and start jogging
(or sprinting) thru, until our heads hit the pillow,
after a HUGE glass of wine.
No matter what your home may be made up of, and
if you one kid, no kids, or ten kids,
you will be pulling out all the stops to try
and do your thing-

But when the heck do the bombs go off??
Did I miss something around this house?? 
EVERYYYY time???
I never see a bomb, nor do I smell smoke, or hear it being lit??
But there is a freaking bomb somewhere, closets full of them I guess-
They can go off once or twice a day, and I must also have specially
made ones, that can sit and magically then explode two more times after-
Aren't I lucky?

I try, most days any way, to make it look, (even if it's just imaginary),
like I actually did
something around this place.
I'm really not a all -day- lay- around- at- home- mommy, so
it's almost insulting
to see what my
hard work completed, looks like.
If it's mopping or the infamous wiping down of any or everything.
Loads of clothes, and then
spending 2.5 hrs putting them away...
Loading the dishwasher, only to start, and empty, and reload, two more
times before dinner....
And dusting?  Seriously?
Dusting is the biggest waste of time ever because it just sits right back
down on whatever you dust.
But we do it, because it is in the handbook-if you don't, your kids
will be taken away.

Whatever energy I give this house of mine, it is sure to go
unnoticed and most times,  made to look in seconds, like I have never tried
once in my life to complete anything here.

Every mother knows her role as housekeeper....
Whether you work or stay home, under the definition and picture of you,
is seven words: trying to nail jello to the wall.

You find it hard to even begin to make a plan in cleaning because
(if you have young children)
even where to put them while you do it, is a crap shoot.
NO matter where their entertaining spot will be, they will need to leave
that place, in order to
clean THAT room, which only leads to them to destroying the
room you just finished cleaning...
Just play the Barnum and Bayley theme song and be done with it.
On and on it goes until you, every single time, settle for the
partially clean rooms
throughout...good enough.

Double edged sword, asking for help...
But when you are making a group effort there is a must.
You must always assign an "assistant"-
The assistant has multiple roles which are very, very, important to
a woman like you.

First, the assistant needs to have speed-
It cannot be one that tends to be a straggler or the
caboose of your clan..
This child will be sent off with things you are picking up here and there,
and must be able to put stuff away, at lightening speed, returning for more.
Second, a good deligator-
If new jobs arise, the assistant will be telling
someone, to tell someone else, what someone else,
should be doing.
And third, but maybe most importantly, take on, like they're life depends
on it, the role of "spy". 
There is always one family member
that veers off course more than the others. 
You can count on them to be easily distracted and end up playing
with the Legos that he's pulling out of the vacuum hose-
The assistant will be your "rat", enabling you to stay on top of the
delays that are sure to happen.

This is all on the days you even WANT help..
Another reason were exhausted when we have war- zone- houses,
are the arms of dilemma.
Some days it is simply more tiring to have
to give orders rather then just get things done all ourselves.
Like company in for dinner, that is trying to help you-
putting things in the wrong places or
needing to be told where everything is...
Not really called HELP, although they mean well.
You must decide.

Around here, you (almost always) choose help.
One of the great 
things about a large family
is the competition in things.
Yes, we love when different sports are chosen, or some go a
different route
with an interest, things are all their own in certain areas.
But when a few are involved in the same thing, they really
do watch each others strengths and weaknesses.
And not because they are so wise and knowledgeable, well,
maybe a little...:)
It is the race of life, sibling rivalry, and wanting to be the best...
Pleaseeee...have you met their father? 
Voted most popular in high school, most athletic, and something else..
Me?  I was runner up for best party....wonder if that helps at all..

Having said that, it's very strange...
On one hand we have that, and on the other-I have never
seen such independent people-at all different ages,
different interests,
really believing things should always be even and fair.

I know it is a kid thing-
He has a ball, I should have a ball. 
She got a cell phone at 13, so I should, etc.
But in this house, it is relentless.
And when we are cleaning and organizing-it is front and center
to conversation.

Everyone gets their lists and it begins.
Wait, why does she have 4 things and I have five?
If I have to clean our room, why doesn't he have to help?
They made the mess, why am I the only one....
I always have to do everything.
He never has to do anything.
I do everyyything.

Um excuse me, no you don't...
Mommy does everything.
And the answer to your questions, why do we always have to clean?
Yeah, that would be, because you are always making a  mess...

So they start...and if all are involved, yes, it can be more of a
commotion,
but it does take 1/2 the time.
We turn on the music, and with everyone running in their directions,
me and my assistant run in ours.
Our fastest time (without scrubbing but just wiping down) is just over
two hours.
That will give an impressive shine, pine sol smell, and crisp clean beds.
Not bad.

It's annoying, It's work. But it's part of life, part of a household-
And you can get into battles with each other, if you
don't learn to work as a team.
Why we feel guilty sometimes, for involving everyone, is beyond me.
It was a squad's mess, the squad cleans it up.

If a bomb, no, when your next bomb goes off, remember...
Moms everywhere, are dressed in their camouflage just like you.
We are all dragging our bodies through the rubble, just in a different
colored living room.
We are barking orders to our own armys, and like we did last weekend,
asking our co-captains to set the timer
for cocktail hour.

As long as you are living, you will have your battlefields to clean.
But there will come a day, that
you won't need so much ammo to do it with.
All too soon, you will have more free time to get it completed,
and it won't be
spread across so much of your territory.
But as nice as that sounds, it will only be for one reason-
Your troops have completed their mission with you, and are gone...

When you really think about it, you aren't measured, (by awesome people anyway),
on how clean and organized you are.
Is anyone that's truly important to you, really leaving, having judged
your kitchen while you guys had coffee ?
I'm tellin ya, you're getting more smiles from neighbors that see you
having a picnic in your front yard
or jumping under the sprinkler, rather than scrubbing your deck.

Truth is, you can believe (and announce) that this will be the last time
you will let it get this bad.
You can tell yourself over and over, that chores are gonna change,
or your husband
is going to pitch in more...
You can even set up the whole house with the fanciest bins and gadgets
to make thing run more smooth-
But in the end, it doesn't matter.
Unlike the rule of life, there is a guarantee.

After all is said and done, there is one thing I can promise you -
Once your house is clean?  No one will stop by.

Have a home be your home, whatever that looks like-
And "they will come."

Hugs :)

Young Love-

So--- It's not enough that I have already been there.
Not enough, that my heart has already broken, and I couldn't eat for days.
That I waited for the phone to ring for hours upon hours, and that my pillow
held more tears that month than the world's largest mop.
Now I had to go and have teenagers that would walk the swamps of sadness-
And I have to re-live those feelings, again-
But this time, through their hearts.

Ugh, what I would give to have all this just be "spidey-proofed"...
Just never be allowed to be seen, felt, or even heard of-
For their sakes, and frankly, for ours too. 
But yes, as the all- encompassing "rights of passage",
We must go through it, in our own time.
And this, my friends, to me, is one of the toughest.

It's no secret that I can be a little too attached...duh...I have a hint of
OCD yes...and not where
it comes in handy. 
It is "OCD OF THE INSIDE"...which has no impact on making life glamorous
IN ANYTHING I do-
You see, most OCD has it's ups-and can create chatter amongst others...
But not mine-
It doesn't impress people with organization, or endless delicious recipes for apps
on a summer day.
Never have I been asked, how I put such a touch on style-as I put together
my outfit for the third time this week....

My "infliction" is inside, and I must say, I'm not the only one-
It's the (sometimes too heartfelt) obsession- with my kids and wanting things to
always be well.
But for all in close range, here's another Jen- Hale -Newsflash!
It won't always be...and if you're honest, it is better in the long run that way.

I mean, of course, if we could "guard rail" them forever, that would help. 
But we all know, like
life's book says on a daily basis, "the stepping stones of life, are built by difficulties
and heartaches.."

BUT WHY IS THATTTTTT?? 
Why cant we just learn from happiness and harmony?
Guess that's a story for another day.

Soooo...here I sit, watching one of these moments hit our house,
and hating every second of it.
I would fear for my life, announcing which teen of mine this is about...
But it doesn't matter, and seriously, it is sad.
And hard.  And really sucks.
And although the "Hale child" was the one to do the breaking up, it wasn't easy-
they really do still love their "friend"...

Most of us have been there. 
And whether you are the one that ended things, or the
one that had it ended ON,
neither position feels good, and neither is an easy road to walk, let alone, get over.
But what I DIDN'T have to feel at seventeen, when it was happening to me, is
the mother's part of it all.

This position as a mom, really has some hard hats to have to wear.

In the beginning you think-the "baby"
Okay, I'm gonna lose some sleep, and my boobs are gonna hurt...and maybe
leak in public.
I'm gonna have to potty train, and have to know when to take them to the ER
with a high fever.
But man, it goes from worry and panic, to this new phase-
Where you are literally remembering
this stuff like yesterday....and it's (unless they let you in) not even involving
you anymore.

As women, ugh, it's probably even harder-
The one thing we have going through a stressful situation, the only thing that
may help us at all, is control.
But as they age, even if you are still technically "the boss", some things, well, you're out....
It's this new day- and hellooo, I don't know when it freaking happens...

It is now them, and their issue-
And as much as you may want to still continue your role
as ringleader, (all you know to be), you are only called upon when needed.
AND NOOOO,
Not when you think you're needed, when they think you are.....
Which makes parents, especially mommies, go crazy. 

I want to know what's going on, what happened, how everyone is feeling
about things.
So unless I want to be an insane maniac, I have to wait patiently for a knock
at my door-
And then try and win the Oscar for looking like I'm not the most excited person
on the planet-
Not only getting to hear the latest, but have the chance to (casually of course),
find a miracle way to spit out everything I have had to say, but
make it sound like I'm just tossing in my two cents.
You know, play things cool.

Having said all this-
What am I getting at? 
What (besides having no say) make it so darn hard? 
One thing.
And that is, (the absolute beautiful sight of ), someone loving your baby.

The first time you hear someone is crushing on your kid, whether it be
preschool, or 5th grade...it is precious. 
Well, for most of us.
A mommy's head tilts and says...awww, reallly???
And you immediately ask for a class picture or for someone to point them out to you...
"I have to see who loves you!"  lol

Then, the years go on, and if it gets more "serious"
they come by or stop
over on a weekend with a friend or in the infamous "group".
You catch yourself listening to how they speak to each other or
any flirting that you can
bust on them for later.

And as they age even more, if you allow it,
they start spending even more time together...
That is where we were these last seven months...

Vacations, weekends, even a few weekdays, together a lot----
And that dang mommy part again?  You become attached.
You watch them enjoy their talks and laughs...
You start to get to know them and their families-
You see your son or daughter, have this sweet light in their eyes when they're around---

And then, lightening strikes one day, and it is over.
And YOU WEREN'T READY.
You didn't call the shot, you were right smack in the middle of what you thought was simply
awesome.  And what?  Nooooo!!...

Yes. Just like in 1991, hearts are broken and you feel helpless.
Ugh, I hate it.
I hate it for the child of mine that was so torn and still loves them.
And I hate it for the one that still has those same feelings, and is hurting.

As parents, again, we have no control-and I get it...
Some of you may end up being really good
as removing themselves-that's awesome.  And healthy!
But I'm not one of them. 

I remember my mom telling Roman years ago that I am a "go hard" girl-
When I'm mad, I'm furious, when I'm laughing, I'm hysterical and when
I love, it is wholeheartedly.
So freaking true.

I give my all, maybe not to having the best looking bathroom in the
neighborhood, but in all honestly, but to
any friend, child, or thing that really matters.
I know I joke, but my OCD to "love and addiction to my babies" does have good things
attached to it.
Two very good things-
(1) That I will always know I did all I could with the years I got
(2) To not have much regret at the end of my days...
Those things will sit in the back of my mind, and will
probably help me through a lot on this
roller coaster ride of ours. 
Even this.

Funny enough, because of the way I feel about things-and just like I say here
on my blog,
I have really good talks with my kids and their friends about these kind of things...
A lot of parents lecture on sex, respect, good grades-
But I talk a lot, besides that, about life and our experiences-and funny things that
have happened through the years...
With a huge emphasis, on everything happening for a reason-
I really think that's a great thing to talk about if you are a believer...
And very recently, had a talk with the boyfriend/girlfriend that we are discussing here,
I remember it being a really good discussion-and how we really connected with it.

I am hoping they remember that talk now, while things are hard.
And remembering that if things are truly meant to be, they will be...no matter what.

At times like this, I am glad that my talks have happened early-
Before these things even start happening---
I am constantly amazed with the quantity of things they have come to me
about, and the personal things, they feel they can share with me.
I don't know what specifically I have done to earn that trust but maybe it's simply just
that open door feeling I try to give to all of them.

It's hard to juggle eight different ages, with eight different needs and to
be honest, sometimes
I do worry-
I am only one person, we all are.

How can we concoct a recipe with a balance of love and come to me with issues,
but include a strictness and were still your parents thrown in with it?
Am I saying enough, teaching enough, talking enough?
But maybe the answers to our questions can be found in the simple
connection we have
when we are alone with them. 
We must be doing it right if they are confiding in us!

If your kids are still young, think about what kind of mommy (or daddy) you
want to be.
And how much you want to share or be shared with-
Some don't want details-don't feel comfortable talking too
personal about things...
But then the other side of that, is praying they hear the truth from
someone else, which doesn't always happen-
I can talk about anything so that wasn't hard for me, but I still search
for a balance to it all..
How can I not be in denial about what is coming up for
Sr Week but not condone it??
We will always be learning and growing-that's our job :)

Whether it's relationships, behavior, school---we are bound to be filled
with the rainbow of parenting colors-
And although we will hopefully have more brights, some gloomy will be mixed in there too...
Seriously, who said it was easy?? NO ONEEEE!!!!
We can't help feeling it, our hearts are still connected, and will be, for freaking ever.

So, for all of the sweet people that now, or in the future, hang out with us,
and love our kids, I want to say-
you will always have a special place in our hearts.

For all of these memories are ours to share too, 
Just now (as the parent), in a different way :)

Hugs!

And it ends....

I know the house is quiet.
And yes, we will be able to control the "disaster zones" of blankets, opened gallons of Turkey Hill
Iced Tea and endless bags of Tostitos-
But man, I miss those buggers.

Spring break was so awesome this year-and not because we stocked it with fun filled
things to do...
We did hit the movie theatre for DIARY OF A WIMPY KID and then an evening showing
with the big ones to SCREAM 4...both very good in my opinion :)
But the rest was just chilling-
Trips to Five Below (my kids favorite place on earth), sleeping in til 9 something, and
a few b-ball practices.
Then on Thursday we took them all to Brigantine for the weekend. 
We played every sport imaginable
in the front yard, went to the park, had fifty two games of
UNO and fourteen of Rummy, and just enjoyed
doing whatever we felt like, um, whenever.

Summer will soon be here and I know my grocery bill will be higher and
I have to balance my
part time job, when that time comes, as referee.
But I really do (when I'm not in the black and white striped outfit with my whistle)
enjoy all my
monsters, being around.
Nice weather is coming soon to stay!!!
Okay so----
Get something done people-your house is a mess.

Hugs!

DAYS ARE LONG, YEARS SO SHORT

"A parent's days are long, but the years, so short."


I have heard this quote and talked about it with other mommies so many times....
Why is that?  Are we overdoing things sometimes??  It's crazy!


We wake up to some days of insanity-the dog pees on the rug, no one ran the
dishwasher,
seven bills to pay, and the cars in the shop with four baseball games at six....
Your head is spinning in one million, five hundred and two directions, all
with ideas on
how you are going to finish this list of yours, and make anyone involved, happy.
Now can you just drink your coffee before tackling the world??


One woman, one hundred ways to be the best. 
And every single day, you wake up
to try again.


I think there is so much to be amazed with, in our every day.  So many grand,
wonderful
things that we will see, take part in, and enjoy more , if we included in that
outline of our day, being present.
Mommies across the world, have so much to eat on that daily plate, that many aren't "tasting" as
they swallow it down.
They aren't able to bring the fork slowwlyy to their lips, not only getting to
anticipate what is about
to fill their stomachs, but even getting to enjoy being full.


If you feel your days are long, maybe its because yes, sometimes they are
just that, full.
But other times, our own doing...our own FAULT.
Self inflicting, this demand of ours.
Things must be tackled with perfection, and tackled immediately.  And
then it's tomorrow, and time to do it all again.
And that, my friends, is why the years end up feeling so short!


If your minute to minute of hustle and bustle are drug out,
but it seems like just yesterday you were
dropping your fifth grader off at Pre-k, then there is the proof in the statement
above, life is
speeding by. 
And we need to grab hold of that train and not just get our ticket stamped.
We need to ride with our own windows down and
faces to the wind.


The "rat race" of life, in most cases, can be controlled. 
It is chosen, (to a point), and anyone that says differently,  needs to take a
closer look.
Just as we are meant to have "life" along with working,  we aren't meant to
pack every single
sport, recreation and school activity into our kid's childhood or our own lives
with our kids.
There should be time here and there, to build a tent, rent a movie, or go on a
walk in
the back woods of your neighborhood. 
Their creative mind should be awoken here or there, to pretend they are
superheros, tying your
sheets around their necks.
Or store cashiers,
lining up your can foods next to a calculator.
I didn't need a Nintendo DS or a laptop, in the 1980s.
I started a water ice stand, and pushed the button on my snoopy snow
cone machine in the
driveway with my sisters. 

If there is no "free time" leftover, it is one more reason, you are overwhelmed
with long- butt days...
Stuffing your hours to the max is creating a life where
no one feels their time is showing. 
No one is feeling "gratified", because there isn't twenty minutes left, to
fit that
feeling in.


The reason we may feel days are long is because many people cannot
picture it
ever coming to an end...
Just as the concept of our house ever being clean again, we can't always
see that
in just a few
short years, our kids wont need this much attention, or explanation...
Moms are screaming at the mall when they're Christmas shopping, they're
worried about everything always looking perfect, instead of taking the time
to involve anyone,
making things more fun...
I know that every day can't be a dream scenario, but it doesn't have to be
THAT HARD either.


So many parents get burned out in exhaustion, solely because of their own
expectation.
Organization, never running behind, dropping a ball, or being tired...
Truth is no matter how your vision is for parenthood, you will have days that
you fail...
You forget something, or had 2.5 hours of sleep due to the stomach flu....
But life goes on....it is universal, and up to you to embrace it-
Because you know what?  Time will move, with or without you....


Look at your own family and where you are today...
Don't you remember JUST having your children, now matter how old they are??
The "younger years'-
The first coos, smiles, scooting across the rug for the
first time??
How proud you were???  Jumping  up and down...
The little teeth popping up, the "da-da", "mommmmmaaaas"....
Pre- School, with their first artwork, and little Holiday shows...


Yes, those years are full of emotion and sleep deprivation-
Were lugging the infant seats, diaper bags, strollers-
But once they're packed away, so are the chubby little drooling cheek smiles,
and the cookie
fingers touching your face and your white shirt...:)
The little piggies that don't smell yet, and the arms stretched out when you
walk to their crib, like
you are the end -all to life.


And then you get the Kindergarten registration-:(


You envision, where you are now, as being this way forever----
Newsflash, they won't be begging us to play UNO or Candy land for that
many years....
They won't need rides to every sport, or friends house,  for too much
longer either-
But that thought doesn't come into play often, because we are in the
midst of it-
We are the center of all that is needed right now, so we push play, and
we go....

Teenagers will not always be sarcastic, and rolling their eyes...
They will leave for prom, and then for college...
The years of lecturing them about making good choices and wondering
when they'll ever not think you're lame will end...
And you will be buds, can you imagine that? 
They will be your friend one day....


We should know better to believe what feeling is created in life's chaos...
We know were aware,  we cry our eyes out to videos of DON'T BLINK,
or people's home movies of their own
kids growing up-
We listen wisely to the elderly who say these are the best years you will live.
But we let the shuffle change our outlook sometimes-
Instead of the opposite- letting us, rearrange that shuffle...


We need to get off the auto-pilot. 
We need to re-focus so that
we are present, and able to enjoy all that comes our way-
If a mom can wake up, reminding herself, there days are limited and on loan
to us, I bet it
could make a huge difference on how easily she becomes frustrated
with the list in front of her that she sometimes thinks will never be done.
If she thought of how fast life has gone already, it may just may allow her to
enjoy her circus, that much more.


Having eight kids, doesn't make me an expert by any means...it really is just
having done
it eight times, and maybe having a bunch more experiences to talk about-
I'm not a pro or know it all, but I feel the heart of all us mommas when it comes to
wanting to
do the best I can, in the most important job I could ever be given.


But I do have a lucky streak besides having eight healthy, sweet kids-
I was given this little token of finding it easy to make my days fun and involve
everyone
in this amazing life I get to live-
I've always been good at huggin insanity, making things into memories and not
sweating the small stuff....
Which is probably what led to wanting a big family, and why I love doing a
mommy blog.

I have met so many moms that find that hard, and I hope to help (even in a small way)
in that area...
In fact, (as corny as it sounds), my dream is that my little stories or writings, can not
only make
you laugh, (because that's the most important lesson of all) but maybe
change the things you feel are holding you back, from
having more fun in your life...

We all have our areas-
Things we could teach someone, and the things we
could use ideas for. 
And all of us, an outlook that is realistic and true.

We are guaranteed to hit icebergs, hellooo....it is a promise.
And our kids are going to have kids, and they will too...it's called life.
But it is up to us, to adjust our sails and upon choppy waters, still enjoy our ride.


The best memories we can create, ones that will forever stick out in our minds,
are times when we probably will have had no plan.
There was no worry, because there was no expectation.
Try and make a lot of those-it is freeing.
Have days when you say, lets just go with the flow, and see what happens...

God wants this to be the ride of your life....so let it be. 
We have no hand in how fast the years go-
But we can make the best of the days, that lead us up to them....


Hugs! :)

NEVER GROW UP

I am a sap, so freaking emotional-and really, reallyy, try to untie these "apron strings" of
mommy hood a little at a time, so I am not in a mental institution once all my kids
are grown.
A few weeks ago, at Lexi's Sr Banquet, they did a slide show with all the pictures us
moms and dads sent in through the years, to this song, Never Grow Up.
I hadn't heard it before but it was sooo beautifully done and went so well with the ideas
that sweet Taylor Swift sings about.
The innocent laughter, never having been burned....just wanting them to stay this little....
What a wonderful view on childhood that we all surely feel for them---
I am holding on to every single second I have left of all my babies surrounding me...
Soooo hard to let them go......:*

Here it is.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDbFxAtNNnU


Hugs!

Bright Sunshiney Day :)

The weather is one of the key factors in influencing your day.
It is proven, (by me), that if you open the front door, to birds
chirping, sun in the sky, and some
well-deserved mild weather, you are in for one great,
brand -new, day.
Watch the animals -as crazy as that sounds.
We were checkin out the squirrels and a little groundhog thingies
earlier, and they were running and chasing each other....
Just loving the day, for probably nothing more than what it is...
So get outside, breathe in some fresh air, and do something
with this gorgeous afternoon! 
Theres a song from an awesome movie that talks about it-
I'm gonna find it-
Here it is,
Live like animals, "careless and freeeeeee"---

Off to the park!!!
Have a good one!!
(and yes, I'm a dork)

Hugs :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBn9JrQZ9KE

Hard Lessons

I would say "life" throws many a thing at you, that are hard to explain.
Hard enough to explain to yourself, but then you become a mom, and feel the need,
or even desperately WANT, to have explanations....
Especially when it is posed as a question to you, and then wide eyed faces sit waiting, for
your miraculous wisdom to be worded just perfectly.

I remember feeling, and still do, that my mom was the most brilliant woman
that ever walked the earth.
And with that, no matter what was asked to her, the answers I would get left me with no
more questions, it just was....and I understood.
Then you become an adult and realize that so much of life is made up of the same
common components in most of us
Good intentions on your part, massive confusion at times, forgiveness, compassion,
wound up with a great, big bow of, sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.
All we can say, as their moms and dads during the "wondering why" stage, is to look for
a lesson, and to wait patiently for
the truth or reason.

My eighth grade daughter is learning that this week-due to some teenage drama at school.
Someone, told someone else, something else, and that someone, told someone else,
who told her about something she supposidly did..
And most importantly, it was damaging to her character....and that is
not okay with any of us Hales.
She came home and told the whole story-and my heart ached. 
You don't want any negativity surrounding
your kids, and especially when it's a full out lie.
Without saying what the issue at hand was, she was blamed for something that
was done, ON THE WEEK SHE WAS HOME WITH THE STOMACH FLU!
Even more irritating?  Girls are THE WORST!

I sat there trying to make sense of it but when Roman and I talked about it that
night, although visibly annoyed that anyone would say anything at all about his baby girl,
he added the three basic life concepts, like a freaking wall plaque.
YOU CANT CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE SAY,
AND YOU CANT CONTROL WHAT THEY THINK. 
Followed up by,
THIS IS GETTING HER READY FOR THE REAL WORLD.

How sad but how true. 
As we talked (Reilly and me), I tried to listen more than lecture.
It's the worst and I did share remembering all too well my middle school days,
and how certain girls there, were exactly like these-just wanting a story. 
They wanted to have some sort of great thing, exciting to say, with
everyone's attention, if only for a minute.
And at just about any one's expense...almost picking people out of the air,
and many, many times, girls that
people seemed to like.
Not always out of jealousy but to start crap, making at least one negative
thing, to go along with her name.
I'm sure you all even remember the names of these girls, even to this day.

Reilly didn't defend herself during the briefing her friend gave her....just said she
couldn't believe that someone
would say that about her....
And some slight immaturity came my way while, I must admit, I wished she had gone up to the
two brats, and said how
amazing they must think she is-
Making things happen at school, from her bed ,while throwing up at home.
But that isn't her. 

And since this was a "no explanation" situation, and more of a "these things happen for various
reasons" lecture, I couldn't even end it with, it will be over soon. 
Because even as adults, just when you think you have passed into the end zone,
and scored that touchdown of "womanhood", it can still rear it's ugly head.
Some people will just always have something to say....and we, as human beings,
and now even adults,
have no hand in what those around them, will believe or relay to others.
We can say, who cares, one million, five hundred times, but if it isn't true, it never
feels good. 
Even if you are a confident person who isn't gonna lose sleep over it.
Women more than men, just have so many opinions-and many times are so
insecure with either their
own lives or themselves, it really does give them a feeling of self satisfaction I guess.

This life has so many layers, divots, boundaries, lines of personal space, along with
maybe a few areas marked, DO NOT ENTER. 
Kids are usually that area- the BEWARE OF DOG section-
I can handle most of everything- but DO NOT hurt hearts.
Much different to me is the drama that is "every day", or discipline, etc-
We tend to steer far far away from the NOT MY KID parents-
More likely to blame ours first,
because we want them to be different than a lot of them.
I don't care if something is "being done" or considered "acceptable", I want
my kids to rise above the garbage that is handed to them.
Just because something may be legal, doesn't mean it moral...or in any way, okay to be, or do.
Whether it's teenage issues, adult issues, all the way to our government.

Reilly is learning her first lesson in character building, the concept of true friends, and what
choices she may make in a different position one day.
She will see how quickly conclusions are come to, and how fast reputations can
be impacted by just one simple sentence that isn't true.
And although all of this is super common during the school yrs, it is the first written
thing on her life's list
that will make her who she will become as a woman.
Not to be corny, but it's true-
As annoying as it was to have those specific negative girls we all grew up with,
the awesome thing about it is, they're figured out pretty fast. 
And even better?  They helped mold us into the women we become.
You just have to hang in until then.

Hard lessons are just that...hard. 
There's not much worse than someone
who has a great heart with kind intentions, and then marked with an X, with wrong ones.
But opening that confidence to the truth, is so important. 
And as long as our kids know who they are, it's
only a matter of time, until others figure it out.
The nay- sayers will always be heard  the loudest, but then they go home. 
And they're alone.

Life has a way of always working out-
And like we said to Ry, God is a fair man, and He will, in His time, clear your
name, and let you shine.

Have a great day with whatever lesson you (or your kids) are learning :)

Hugs :)