Twas The Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas,
when all through the house
Not a kid is in sight, better not be a mouse.
The stockings still hung, but now empty and bare
While the junk that was in them, lays about everywhere.

No children are nestled all snug in their beds
For video games now rule all their heads.
And mom in her sweats and a cute baseball cap
Will be the only one soon, not taking a nap.

When down in the basement there rose such a clatter
I tried to ignore it, but it didn't matter.
Kids running upstairs to tattle and yell
Someone hit someone, and someone else fell.

No moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
It's just simply cold out...just so you know.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a bottle of wine and a case full of beer.

With a handsome, bald husband, holding a flower
Reminding me of, pending "cocktail hour".
More helpful than ever, he offered to tame
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now Gabe, now Reilly, Now Gavin and Max
On Reese, on Lily, on Mason and Lex!
To the door in the kitchen, to the living room wall
Go play with your toys, go play one and all.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with what created, The Hale Pig Sty.
So off to the closet to get out a broom,
Cleaning up toys, candy canes, and each room.

And then in a twinkling I heard a strange sound
I walked down the hall, and knew what I'd found.
As I drew in my head, and started my peeking
I saw my dumb, stupid, washer, was standing there leaking.

Its a front loader, stuffed, from bottom to top
It's always turned on, working non stop.
Just gotten serviced from the Sears Guy named Michael.
Want nothing more than to have it recycled.

I spoke not a word but went straight to the table
I heated leftovers, still partly stable.
And laying my Windex down under the sink
I completed all missions with still time to think.

I sprang to my feet and gave my family a shout,
Soon in ran the circus, not a cry or a pout
And you heard me exclaim, I love Christmastime
Lets count all our blessings, then pour me some wine!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!!  XO!
Hugs!


















Hugs!

Merry Christmas!

"Stockings were hung by the chimney with care, while the crap that goes in them, will soon be in there. The stuff is all scattered, underneath my whole bed, while visions of dollar stores dance in my head. While mom is delirious, and dad has no clue, that the bank account is almost withdrew. The presents have almost taken over the home, while adding the "teen" gifts, almost equal a loan. Target, Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, we are finished but now need to store some on the lawn. But I hear us explain as we sip eggnog tonite, all are here and are healthy, what a beautiful life."

Xoxo for a beautiful holiday season!

With love, the hales :)

Hugs!



Hugs!

Your own Thanksgiving :)

Most of us agree as parents, or anyone for that
matter, it's important to show
kids (and everyone) that "serving" is important....
Helping or creating something for someone else...and to have
the gift of giving it to them---not just at Christmas but whenever.

This first idea for Thanksgiving Day is that everyone in the family, prepare
a piece of the meal.
Not just Mama should be in the kitchen!
We are adding in the "surprise" of it all to make it more drum-rolly-
grabbing your dish from a hat. 
That me friends, is two fold.
More suspense of course, any excitement around here is huge.
With a bonus of not being able 
to blame mom/dad for getting that one, or wanting another.

Each of us are going to be in charge of that specific thing-
Shopping for the ingredients, making it however you'd like, picking the
presentation of it.
Whether it's a special dish or 200 toothpicks around the edges!
Then, at dinnertime, walking around the table, and placing it
onto everyone's plate.

The second idea was the "thankful five".
Having chose a family member, and writing down five things you
love about them.
After dinner is done, you go around the table and take turns sharing the
great things that you feel, when you think about them.

Every year I try and have the kids do crafty place
cards for everyone...
Someone write a special prayer....
Any little idea that can make it a homemade day.
And these two, I think will be added, to the traditions
around here..

Its so huge to me to always have a message along with the "festivities"...
And after we made our plan for it last night, I just thought I'd share in case
your family was looking for something too.

Wishing you all a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday.
Here's to sanity, love, and the simple blessing of health in your lives.

Remember, no matter where you are in your life when
you wake up Thursday, you are here. 
You are alive.
There is a plan for you.
And so much to be thankful for!!!

Hugs!

The little things

Jewelry, a hundred dollar perfume, weekly blow outs at my favorite salon?
Those days, even if I ever had them, are over....
The little things my husband could do for me, doesn't even compare.

It's like a daily game of WOULD YOU RATHER? 
With the winning answer (for me) never being
a tangible item.
The times I feel the closest to Roman aren't probably ever the
times he would think (well, until I told him).

Our anniversary plans are nice. 
Romantic dinner,
whatever sweet present he passes across the table. 
I do love it.
But to be honest, the car ride with one nights no interruption,
the idea of HIM,
actually making the plan for what were doing....
those are the heart jumper things.
The stuff that make me love him.

Maybe I'm not the "norm" but I know I'm not alone here.
The idea from back in the day that you could never understand,
the giving is better than the gift, is sorta like this.
Isn't simply picturing your spouse thinking about what to do for you awesome?
Actually coordinating a freaking plan? 
And hopefully connected to what
he thinks you would enjoy? 
Anything after that is icing. :)

When is it exactly that the thing YOU COULD NEVER IMAGINE
being exciting, become so? 
Or the things you only heard your mom wanted for Christmas or
her birthday would be on YOUR own list?

Peace, a long bubble bath with no questions to answer,
no shouting for one morning, and someone
to call out "Alice" instead of  Mommy a few times?
It's not a lot to ask....
And even if everyone around you simply tries, it's a score.

Let's face it, it's sort of a running joke how mom's never get breaks-
That's why the universal picture of one, mothers day morning, still in bed
pretending to be sleeping while their circus "surprises" them with breakfast,
is so adorable.
The entire family KNOWS she never gets to rest.
And commercials, or movies, lead all to believe that she needs more
after that...
When in reality, if after she eats, someone just gave her a homemade card
and she got to stay in her pj pants, she'd be over the moon.
It's the little things----

Say them, do them--every day if you must. 
And we'll be ready!!
We'll be happier, because we feel loved.
We'll be less moody, because we were considered.
We'll be less stressed, because one little thing literally means ten to us.

How about communicating?
That's a little thing...
and yet, it's just
SO HARRRDDD for men.
Please. 
It's only hard because you picturing having to get
ready for an actual event.
Dressed up and headed for the kitchen table, chairs
across from each other,
like you're preparing for the high school debate competition.
Like you need note cards and to have studied..
Like you may or may not make it out alive.

We really don't ask for much. 
I mean, please, we married A MAN!
How much expectation could we possibly have? 

But ladies, do not make the mistake I did, and ask your
husband to throw you a bone.
YOU WILL NOT LIKE THE RESPONSE TO THAT ONE.
Ummm, not what I meant honey.

Maybe if men knew not only how much these things mean
but how long we
just may remember them...

One of the sweetest things Roman did was a few years back.
He called my cell from 
the road on the way to a job and proceeded to let me know he just saw
the best looking girl.
I was like....coooolllll.....
He told me he was on the highway going toward Savannah and that her car
passed him while he was at a light.
Again, I was like, coooolllll....
Then he said, YOUR HAIR LOOKS AWESOME TODAY.
I got tears in my eyes.  I had passed him, it was ME!

Still to this day, I remember hearing that, and how it made me feel.
My morning was going crazy and such a small thing for HIM to do
but so huge to me.  Still.

Whether it's a single flower from your own
yard, holding hands for the two seconds you may have in the morning,
or a smile~ that after you've been
married a while,
says more than anyone else knows....do it.

If your a man, remember your wife loves if you check in to
say I love you after lunch.
She wants to hear how you feel every now and then, even if it's the shortest
sentence ever. 
She also likes to be reminded that you feel lucky to have her.
.
If you're a woman, remember your husband likes to hear you still
love his butt. 
That he is a hard worker and
(even if it's a long shot) that you may want some tonight.  ;)
They don't need much.

Even if you can afford all the "big" stuff,
you can't buy the "little".
All those things are only sold inside ourselves....
That's probably why it feels even better
to receive it.

I know at least for me it is.
At this point in my life,
38 years old with eight kids, it's a clean sweep.

The sweetest thing Roman can do is put the coffee on. 
The sparkle in my eye every morning with that, far surpasses
any diamond ring that he could ever find.

Enjoy the "little" in your life...and pass it on :)

Hugs :)

YOUR CLIMB

Roman and I have joined a class at church. 
It has been really inspiring, really informative.
It is based on the bible but hits on the topics of christian marriage,
family and the core of just living a good life.

Not only do you learn and relate these things, but the ten to twelve
couples there, are able to share their own opinions
and stories, whenever they feel led to.

People have laughed, cried, felt a sense of relief...
And in some instances, at least we, have left, with a true renewed spirit
to take into the next week.

It's nothing that we've ever done before , but even within our own family,
has made a
difference already.

The topic for the first few weeks was FORGIVENESS, which you assume is one
whole idea. 
But as you dig deep into it, you cannot imagine how many letters are under that
roman numeral outline. Wow.

But the best class so far, was this past Sunday's---
When they added on-~stress, anxiety and worry.
Yup, something we have all dealt with, are dealing with right now,
or will in the future.
In fact, it is a guarantee.

Yes, it is promised that things will go astray or not as planned in your life. 
But you are in good company.
Everyone alive will be faced with these stumbles-
so if you are prepared and have faith, you will come
out better than you went in.
The class shared so many things this week, of course
because it is so freaking relatable.

Their were stories of job loss and the feelings of fear.
Stories of daily anxieties people have, and are constantly struggling
with, some for no reason they can even come up with.
One woman's words even put an older lady in tears, talking about something
she wouldn't elaborate on.
Just feeling each others emotions, brought you into their life. 
And even if your own tale wasn't comparable, you could take a little bit of it, and
bring it into yours somehow.

All of us have been there in one way or another.
And anyone that has had to walk that "unknown" so far, can only say one thing. 
It not only will get better, but it makes you better.

With each thing-there are two sides, the "scary" and the "new"
Scary is the change.
In life, change equals hard.
Hard equals unknown.
And the unknown equals fear.

Unknown is uncomfortable. 
And that explains why it is so difficult for people to move, change occupations,
add another child,
or have a health scare.

"I don't have enough information, I don't know if it will work, or how
I will feel., but most
importantly, will we be happier, more successful...?"

Newsflash.  Life is turning, and how the heck do you grow, or make a difference
if things stay the way they are, all the time?
And again, to change lives and people, there needs to be growth.
And growing hurts sometimes.
And other times, take a while.

What we rarely think about is the basic concept of  "our timeline".

We are on "on demand society" and the realistic side of us knows
that it isn't always possible
But the NOW NOW NOW people, that we have become,
expecting our outcomes to happen immediately.

"Oh my gosh, if this happened on Monday, and it's now
Wednesday, were doomed.
I thought something would have changed by now...
its not lookin good."

Think about anything in life that you are trying to change..
Joining a gym, to lose weight or get in shape.
Climbing the corporate ladder..
Even compare it to your kids in school--having to go through elementary
school, to middle school and then high school....
You don't learn, and grow, and see a difference in you life, without "the climb".

If you didn't have to work your way through a moment, or you
had a stage handed to you, you would
not only not learn struggle, you would have nothing
even close to appreciation,
for the lesson in front of you.

God isn't looking at this "page" in your life,
he's instead focused on your "story".
As you should be.

The book of your life is being written with each day that you get through,
and the last chapter can only be as amazing as you were throughout .

Just because today, or yesterday, has a question mark across it,
doesn't mean
that next week or the one after, isn't going to have
an explanation point. 
Your life can turn in a minute,
but it has to depend on faith.

One of the lessons taught Sunday said that with worry and fear, comes
a "diss" to God.

It is saying, you don't see your life safe in his hands. 
That you want the control, you trust yourself more, and aren't willing
to look back at your past-
How he's gotten you up your mountain.
And will again.  And again.  And again.

God wants the best for all of us. 
He will do anything to show and prove that to you.
But promises there will be time of need. 
Time of prayer.
Time of heartache. 
That is the way for him to become close to you.

You may not see for a while~
What it was, or why it even happened.
But it time, it will become clear ~
And you will become a stronger version of you.

I know my family has had it's share. 
After my sister was diagnosed, I could not imagine the tailspin my
life would take.
I could not envision ever having so many tears. 
Or living a single day without a sister I was never apart from.

But that chapter in my life was meant to be. 
It was meant for me, and hundreds of friends and people we knew,
and never knew, who were and still are, touched by her story.

A twenty five year old who chose her baby over treatments. 
Someone that wanted more than anything in the world to be a mommy and
wash a t-ball uniform.
And someone who would never get that chance.

So many moms will wake up and hug their kids
tighter now.
So many people will appreciate more than they ever would have, because
of her memorial service.
Meeting her son Noah, who will have an undying example
of the ultimate sacrifice.

Financially~ a less important, but difficult lesson.
It took us sixteen years to build perfect credit and attain properties for
or kid's future
But within eighteen months, lost bigtime.

Four years ago we came back from Ga, with our tail between our legs.
Sold some, lost some, credit trashed .
Prayers were abundant...but there was no changing that plan for us there either
.
We made all the right choices, were honest, and responsible. 
But the outcome was to be the same.
This was another lesson, understanding
again, was meant to be.

At the end of the day, it got us back near family and more open minded.
When we hear stories of hard work and yet struggle, we relate more.
When we see someone needing a break, we are less judgemental.
We have given our last dollars to friends in need, and somehow
things always get paid and work out.
But I don't think, the "goosebump" moments would be the same,
without having experienced it ourselves.

What's abundantly learned is that if we made a list of our struggles,
worries, fears...
only one thing is the common denominator ~
95% of our scary-list, are things, simply out of our control.

Seriously, get a pen and jot down yours-
How many things in front of you could you do anything about at this moment?
That is why you aren't to worry.
Where does it get you?
No matter what you decide to do today, it may not work for your tomorrow.

There's enough to take care of that you are IN CHARGE of.
God's letting you change your babies diapers, and get the groceries. 
He's fine with you driving to soccer and Christmas shopping.
And yes, you are to work for the things you have...

But put the rest in his hands.
He wants you to enjoy being here, 
being present in your story. 
And no human can do that the right way, along with all the rest.

2011 is getting out of hand. 
We aren't supposed to attain the mansion, brand
new SUV, clothes of Hollywood stars,
and then search to the heavens to be able to afford it all.
You aren't to live like that, because to do it, the stress and struggle
of providing for it, will hold you back from the best in life.

Were supposed to live simple,
welcome our "journey" and embrace our blessings.
No worry, stomach aches, migraines...
Think about it, how much more would you see
clearly, if you really did hand that heavy backpack over?

God's delay, is not denial.
Your troubles are no surprise to him...
and he already knows when they are fixing themselves-
Question is, how will you see yourself when it's all over?

Wake up, with your arms stretched out.  
Make your coffee, love your children and stay in faith.
No crying tears of worry, only tears of joy.
There are struggles you cannot imagine, that others are facing---

"The Climb" is part of your book--and your book has already been written.
You are now starring in the production, as we speak.
Will you have a captivated audience? 
What will they walk away learning from you and how you
handled your "action scenes"?

I am hoping for a standing ovation.
And one very, happy ending.


"I may not not know it, but these are the moments I'm gonna remember most "

"Ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about whats waiting on the the side,"

"Keep on moving, keep climbing...keep the faith, keep your faith, it's all about the climb."

Hugs!

Don't worry about me, still waiting......

Dear Fios Tech Support,

Having nine people that need my assistance every day, makes it really
easy to understand
your job description and what you are surely up against in your occupation.
I get many aspects of your existence....

Surely you wake up every morning with every intention of getting your
orders completed.
You have endless customers waiting for you to come and fix their problems.
Be their miracle worker.
I'm sure you have different hoops to jump, and many obstacles that are thrown
into your mix.
I also get that you are facing crankiness~over the phone, at the door, or even by
your fellow employees ~
As you, even you, have to wait for customer service to get the quick codes
for my order.

But there's a problem. 
In my life, and most others, if I were to pull the five hour window scam, and
still not show,
things wouldn't work out so well.

If I had told my doctor I would be stopping in, anywhere from 8-12, and didn't,
after laughing his ass off,
he would probably slam his door on me, after charging me a no-show fee
of course.

If I told Giant, I'd be back between those five hours, to get my groceries, and
didn't, they'd be put back on the shelf and I'd have to shop all over again.

And if that time span was given to my kids' school, as to when I'd show to
chaperone
a field trip, the bus would surely have left me behind, along with any chance
of needing
my help again.

So why is it that I am not treated in that respect?
And if I can't be,
why can't I simply have an appointment?

Why can't someone, like I have to do, book a time to come and fix the problem
YOUR EQUIPMENT is giving me?
Then we can all be happy and no one's time is wasted.
I'm at home, you're able to get here, and it's all over.

If not, you do not agree, and this 8-12 thing works for you, why do I sit here,
at 2:30, without you here yet?
Worse yet, why haven't you even called me?
Let me know you didn't forget, or your running late (duh), or when you
are even going to eventually get here.

I get things come up.
I get I'm not the only one and you're not at the spa.
But here we are, no signal and no you.
And I'm not at the spa either.

I'm here, just like I have been.
Since eight a.m.
Because I said I'd be.

So, I'll just hang out, I mean, it's obvious you didn't think I had plans.
Just, whenever you can make it, is fine at this point.
I'll figure, that you'll figure out you're at the right place, once you pull up.
Cause once you're here, you'll know it.

Don't know if you're a parent or not, but get ready!
We'll be the house with seven kids, that haven't had
TV or Internet for almost 72 hours...
And I'll be the mom, that let's them "help" you,
the entire time it takes you,
to fix the problem.

You can thank me later :)

Sincerely,
Jennifer Hale

end to lazy days

commericals with the holiday song-
"most wonderful time of the year".
endless circulars with school supply sales for
the past month.
the slightest breeze in the air, almost whispering that these
are the last ten
or so days you have left to sleep in a little later, a
few extra times-
or, (even harder to swallow), to mix up that pitcher of margaritas at six pm
that still shouts- SUMMER.

this year's break, with our oldest having taken off, our
beach vaca early,
and added craziness until two weeks ago, although relaxing- for
the most part, truly sped by.
here we are, triggered by the teacher letters showing up
end of month,
realizing that the minute
directly after feeling like you JUST relaxed from last year's
routine, it's time to start again.
the letterhead lets you know, it's about that time. 
time to put on your new sneakers and place
your foot on the line of the school -year's -running -track...
waiting for
the "get set" and then "GO!".

the funniest thing to me about it all through my past eighteen years,
is everytime this hour comes,
i feel like i am just about to prove myself amazing.
THIS YEAR, im gonna be organized. 
i get the schedules, the lists, the meeting dates. 
everyones lunches are made the night before,
backpacks lined up, two hundred fifteen emergency cards
filled out the second I get them.
this is gonna be MY year.  im going to rock this thing.  Oh yeah.

who am i kidding?  um, that would be myself.
but its good for us. 
i really like having the kids here all summer and am bummed
its coming to an end,
so the one cool thing is that i can imagine is  "routine" with
my newfound perfectness.
a whole new chance to get on top of things-be on time. 
never forget a dang thing.
and maybe, quite possibly, i can trick my kids into thinking it too.

motivating at any age is hard when they've had a length of time off.
of course they're excitied (young ones anyway) for that first week.
they have a new place to go, and get to see their friends again...
but that's short lived.  come on.
so maybe this deep breath of ours can carry over and get everyone
pumped.
maybe....this year.

good luck to all with the trips to target and wal mart.
have fun venting or lecturing or convincing or simply
saying 100 no's,
as they point endlessly to only the things they DONT need
on the list.
hang in there if the memory you thought you were gonna
make doesnt go as planned.
know that some years its great, and others-a semi-disaster.
and if all else fails,
follow a mom with a soon to be college bound, with her.
imagine me, (although we did summer session), doing my
last outing for
the "real" session, tomorrow.
remembering the years of hello kitty, that have now turned into a lime
green coffee pot.

this, like everything else, won't be your life forever-
the summer days go faster every time im turning around.
even if theres only a week left to create some fun, go for it!
the house will be quiet enough soon---don't rush.
and good luck with this year's race.
i'm sure to see you on the run! :)

Hugs!

DONT WAIT FOR A CALL~

Just wondering, in your day to day, if something changed your vision of life,
what wouldn't be a big deal anymore.

Wonder for a second, that there was an interruption of sorts. 
A test you had to get done was getting reviewed.
You didn't get the call yet, and you're waiting, and waiting, and waiting....

Would your outlook on life be the same?  Would it waver?
What kind of things would you be saying to yourself? 
How would the colors of the trees or the smell of your grille be that day? 
Stronger, brighter, any better?
Would your children's smiles seem bigger,  better than normal, because
you are looking
at them with an unsure future for yourself?

So often, life is passing at the speed of light. 
We are bombarded with the news, stories, articles....
All claiming to have what's important for you to do-
Get your finances together, get your credit up to par, buy the home of your dreams.

But what about the life of your dreams? 
The day to day things that actually count when your shut your front door?
What about remembering what all of this really is for?
What about reminding people, along with not
living for the past,
to not wait for the future, to live either.

Within this capsule of "the now", we are cleaning, and running, and working..
We are paying bills, and running place to place-
thinking, tomorrow-tomorrow-tomorrow....
A naive "guarantee" that yeah, we may not be here at 95,
but we
have a whole lotta life left.

Yet, with each day, comes another loss of someone young, old or
middle aged, taken, without warning.

Today is all we have promised. 
If you woke up today, you got another try, another run at things~

But remember, this time, in limbo, waiting for your news.
Would the words, when the Dr called, change who you are? 
Yes, it may change your lifestyle, but
would it change what you choose to do with your days?
Who you love?  How you show it?
Would it make you finally take a vacation, or tell your
spouse exactly what he
or she truly means to you?

We can hop scotch through, until ten pm every day, and not
think about things, til our head
hits our pillow. 
We can run on auto pilot, hugging our daughters, or wrestling our sons.
Make dinner as we eat on the way out to the car.  
Or finally get to our beach getaway, and check into Facebook on
our cells, eight times, while
everyone else jumps waves.

But after your results were spoken, wouldn't all this time to embrace,
feel like double the blessing?

If you don't already, try and take a day, to wake up like your phone is about to ring.
The voice on the other line could be a relief, but it could also
limit your future, with everything you ever knew.

What wouldn't be a big deal anymore?  The mess?
The trip to Acme? 
The way your husband puts his feet on you during the Phillies game?

Wouldn't so much feel like a waste of complaining about? 
And so much more, feel like you're a real life lottery winner?

Keep that idea going, and see where it takes you-

How you see things,
and if anything alters itself, to make your world even more beautiful.

Not only may  it change what your life looks like,
it could possibly, change your whole outlook on life.


Hugs!

"My Main Man"

An amazing husband. 
And unimaginable dad. 
Neither possible, without first, being a good man.

Blind date or not, even when we were young(er), my now
husband Roman's,
heart and soul are the same today, as they were,
nineteen years ago.

A core built on life's simplest things-
Foundation -made of honesty, and being a moral man.
Strengthened by walls of undying love for his family.
All safe under the roof of creating a life that would make God himself, proud.

Think he's corny?  Oh well. 
Think he has a gullible wife?  Who cares.
Think it's short-lived?  Then you need to know him.
This is who he is.

My teammate, partner in crime, best friend, has been by my side since
our second date.
We were a long shot yes, but both of us knew the truth.
We couldn't stop calling each other..
We made dates for almost every day of the week.
And hey, I still like talking to him! :)
Marriage, parenting, living together every day, no one said it was easy all the time.
If they did, they'd be lying-
But all you need is to know is there is no one else you'd rather
ride the roller coaster with....and that, we have!

We were sent a "surprise" at a young age and never did he take a
step back from that crazy news.
Our family had begun, and although we both felt it was God's plan for us, and
completely meant to be,
we had no idea what was in store for the future.

Life's ride has taught us more about each other than anything could.
Through heartbreaking losses in our family-
a shoulder to cry on and words of light
and purpose for it all.
To the most beautiful of days, the birth of our eight children. 
The greatest moments we will ever know.
Each thing, bringing us to know the heart of the other even more.
And with all that comes our way, the smile on my husband's face, has
never faded.
Being a man, of course sometimes he says things in few words, but
his arms are always open....
No worry, no need to discect things-it's just life, were blessed.
Even when things are a challenge, we will be okay.
It's today's distraction, it'll all be good.

As a dad, there is almost nothing I can say about his love for
the position.
I have never met someone so addicted, so proud...
We know God put us together because of that mutual quality.
Never did we think we'd have a small family,
but I don't think imagining two more
than the Brady Bunch, was invisioned either.
With each birth, that same unexplainable feeling fills you...
And adds to your heart, another portion of what life is supposed to be----

Every day I watch my husband, the human jungle-gym,
devour this role like nobody's business.
It is something that no woman can explain, watching their husband
with their kids.
Just so lucky to have the full circle of life in your home.
People say were crazy, it's okay-
We love it...if you're life is crazy, your life is full.

During every huge, small, or in between moment, Roman is the the voice of
reason, strenth
and a billboard that shouts Nothings Impossible.
He has an insane work ethic topped with the one thing that sometimes does
bother me, never needing a plan.  :)

The heart of 100 men, doesn't just rear it's head when all is well.
The economic meltdown hit us, and hit us hard- about five years ago.
Everything we worked to attain and have for our future was taken
away in the matter of
months, leaving us with only our humility.

Not a single time, did the man I love, ever take the low road.
We sat at our kitchen table and prayed.
We asked for direction and help in decision making.
We had partners that didn't pull their weight.
We lost money to banks with broken promises.
Yet, we slept at night...due to knowing this was somehow in our life's plan.
Somehow this would make us smarter, stronger, better.
Maybe just show our kids that life won't always be easy or fair.
But it will end, and you will be okay--

Nineteen years ago, I was sent this blessing-
Wrapped up in (if I must say) some very nice muscles,
and a goosebump giving smile.
This blessing taught me to not be afraid to try things others may not be doing.
But more importantly, we were gonna do them and good things were gonna happen.
He was right. 
I used to care what people thought-I used to think that it mattered.
But now I live a life that is more fun than the average, probably because it's so different
than anyone else's.

Together we just have a zest for life, and it is made easy for me, because of him.
He wants to live for today-
Not looking back, or even forward during it.
Just being happy-
And that in turn, has made our family happy, our kids happy.

To our four sons, he shows the picture of love for a wife,
honor for a mother,
and what the definition of commitment should be.

To our four daughters, he is an example of what you want
to find in a future man. 
What you deserve to be treated like, and to walk through the world, next to.

Things aren't always bright and perfect, and things can throw you
off your course if you let them.
We've had both, like everyone else.
That's the way it goes..
But if you're lucky, you will feel the hand of someone you love,
wrapped around yours, and walk the road together.
You can look over and say the smallest of things, or the greatest of things.
And with them, even if nothing is said, just having them there, is enough.

Last year there was a song that reminded me, in one sentence, of how
my husband makes me feel...
"I see the best of me inside your eyes".

Thanks Ro.  I know I don't tell you enough, but thank you.

http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-husband-rocks-writing-contest.html

And off she goes...

It was nothing as I pictured.  Really.

Nothing about it was how I thought it'd look, feel or be...

I mean I knew I'd be emotional, duh, but all the rest of it was like a dream

or something.

A feeling I really can't describe because it's not how I've ever allowed

myself to feel.

All of the huge moments leading up to these past few days have been so

insane.

And the fact that I am who I am, and am obsessed with embracing them all,

and truly eating them up individually, had them come one by one,

but at lightening speed.

The cheer banquet, was the green light in my mind that things were

coming to a close...

And I had told myself that once we got the letter regarding the end of
the year festivities,
it was going to tidal wave.  And it did.

Shopping for prom dresses, online Sr week house views,
her two week notice for work, announcements,
the cap and gown coming....
But I still filled my busy brain with party planning and all of her
friend's celebrations-
leading up to grad night. 
All wonderful distractions-literally, holding on by five fingers, that slowing were
slipping to four, and then three...
Until Monday night, when I found myself holding, as tight as I could, with just a thumb.
High up in the stands, with my family and a heart that had never felt the way
it did, at that moment.

The music started and over four hundred young adults started to make
their way to an arena
filled with moms and dads holding cameras, video recorders and
overwhelming love for someone in
that line.
It gave me chills.  I knew that this was it.  Here they come.

We waited, as she waited. 
There Lexi was in line, braided hair, flip flops...that is who she is now.
That is who she turned out to be...

I flashed for a second to Kindergarten graduation-where I
remember imagining this day.
Not even being able to picture what kind of personality would
take over her life.
Would she be outgoing, or shy. 
Into style or creative.
Would she be athletic?  
And oh my gosh, what would she look like? 

I couldn't imagine that morning, 12 years ago,  as I snapped her picture
with Mrs Cuskey, her first ever teacher,
that all those questions would be answered so fast.
I had heard it would, but here we are.
And there she is.

We held hands and it was in seconds, "ALEXIS MARIE HALE".
My world was silent. 
She shook a few hands and walked down the aisle.
My eyes filled up and I just stared until a small speech of
hope for the future was spoken
and hats filled the sky...
It was over.
Childhood, the school years, anything I had ever known...

And yet, the feeling as I cried was not what I thought I'd feel.
I assumed I would feel loss.
And although the first thought naturally is to cry for the loss
of what was ending,
I was so overwhelmed with excitement for her, I never let
myself go there.

I spent eighteen years, embracing, enjoying, making memories...
with all the time
I had in that chapter.
My heart was so full of that time in our life, it absorbed any part
of what others may regret or look back sadly upon.
I stood with only the beauty of witnessing our firstborn turn
into woman,
with just the call of her name.

Looking back on this year, speeding by on the track one million
miles an hour,
it really seemed to feel we would have more time to fit all these last
school-age milestones in.
And there is still a few left regarding all of it.

We have some shopping trips planned, which is always fun.
Sr week is coming, so I'm sure to remember 20 years ago, when I
go and grab some cases of mac and cheese
and a few bags of junk food
for them. :)
And we have our week at the beach at the beginning of July.
Full of the annual fun and craziness~
But this year, it will be sprinkled with
some bitter sweet.

This will be the first family vacation, where thinking about going, is
gonna be tough.
I can't wait to spend hours relaxing, having no plan- just enjoying
everybody together.
But the third day, Roman and I will be leaving the gang with my
family, to take a drive.
The drive to drop our child off at summer session, where unlike the ceremony's
tears, will not end with hugging our little
girl and bringing her home.
Somehow, maybe only with God's grace (and the strength to move mountains),
we will be hugging her and then leaving.

How I will do it-how I will kiss her face and walk down a hall that
isn't linking her bedroom to mine-
I cannot imagine.
I don't know how something so foreign, or unnatural happens. 
I just don't.
But I will be.

This new phase will be nothing like the one I knew...but it
doesn't mean it wont be just as amazing.
Just in a different way.
Each of the chapters in their book will be full of all new things-
I think that most parents' heart aches at chapter 2
though, because
unlike the last, these next years, don't have your name
next to theirs on every page.

This next section, has them as the main character.
And although you will enter certain scenes,
these are roads they will travel without you driving.

God has it right on, ages they will start pulling back, and
wanting to be more independent.
He purposely has them getting annoyed and gravitating toward friends.
It's no accident it happens that way.
He gives us all this time~from holding them as newborns to their
eighteenth birthdays.
Time to kiss them, and hug them, and share in their memories. 
To be part of their life, every single day.

All of this, for all of us. 
So that it isn't just over night, because it is bound
to feel like it.
It's gradual as you look back, but will be hard regardless.
And knowing that early on, can help to embrace even the smallest of things-
So you, like me, can look back and smile through the tears.

The other night we were watching a movie and Lex was sitting next to me.
She fell asleep and ended up with her head on my lap.
After everyone went up to bed, I just sat there and leaned
over to rest mine near hers.
I didn't leave.
My leg was asleep at times, and my arm from time to time,
but it didn't matter.
If someone offered me $10,000 to get up I wouldn't have.
I was as comfortable as I could ever be.
We slept that way all night.

I will miss every day that I don't get to see the face I feel I've known my whole life.
I will miss all the coffee runs and the calls from the shower that she
forgot a towel.
I will miss just jumping on her bed to find out the latest gossip.
Or having her tell me that my belt looks stupid but she has an even
better one that would look great.
I will feel sad knowing how much all her brothers and sisters
will miss her being around.
And oh, how will I ever handle, not getting a kiss before going to bed,
knowing everyone is here, under one roof.

But this adventure of hers is about to begin, and it has endless possibility.
It can't happen if things stay the same, so we are doing this!
I have a new role now, and just like for her, it has never been.
So exciting!  So full of promise!!

Congratulations Lexi-
As Dad and I said at your toast-
You were our only "surprise", and what an amazing one
you were.
We never had a huge amount of money,
but you are the first of eight things, that have always made us feel rich.

No matter where you are living or even sleeping at night,
I will forever feel like that night on the couch~
You will always be that close to my heart.

I love you sooo much and am so proud of you baby girl!!!!

Hugs! :)

MUST THERE BE...?

Must there be? A banana sticker put on my candle holder?

Must there be? Probably thirty two old VHS tapes, I cleaned out this
weekend, in perfect condition, with one
home movie accidentally stuck in the middle, frayed tape sticking out of it.

Must there be? A (reminder of) a receipt on my counter, for the $380
worth of upgrades we had to make to the mini van, only two days
before it burned to the ground?

Must there be? For some craaaaazy reason, no baseball games scheduled
the entire beginning of the week
all four, same night, same time, different fields.

Must there be? Someone who takes out a single photo from the picture
coasters we have, so there can't be a whole set?

Must there be? A never-had-kids-before model, showing me what my what my
"hide-your tummy" bathing suit that I ordered, will look like, on me?

Must there be?  Literally, eleven different styled, single, black socks, in the same size?

And finally, cracking up as my one year old, surrounded by a hundred toys, chooses
instead, to climb under the desk as I type this, and pull the
computer mouse cord for entertainment.
Just sayin-  crackin up.
Hugs!

Laundry~

Okay, really?
Someone really needs to get a grip.
If it is this way, after all this time, it may be a hint that it will NEVER change.

My laundry room is ...just ugh.
People laugh and joke and kid, and I am a gamer...I am a positive person,
I like to smile as much as the next guy...
But this area of the house?  It is sincerely no joking matter.

In fact, come to think of it, nothing regarding any part of clothes, even
touches something
funny, around here.
Not seeing them, buying them, washing them, folding them...and certainly not
putting them away.

The endless piles, endless cycles, endless dirty, clean, stained, folded...
Even seeing the basket, empty or full, is enough to give me this feeling in
my stomach,
that although I have only heard of what panic attacks are like,
may give me one.

In the house we are in now, there is a laundry shoot.
I have talked about it before-being a play toy for my boys when we first
moved here.
Well, my husband seems to think it is someone of a family treasure...being
so handy and such.
"Look hon, everyone can just toss you their stuff at night, it'll make it so easy
 for you."

Easy?  Have you lived with us for long?  Did you just get here?

As if he resides in a world where it's all done, every load of clothes,
but the last of the evening.
Yeah, the family is just stripping down after a productive end of the day...
And lined up, one by one, they just
take turns tossing two pieces of clothing each, downstairs.

And there I am, can you picture me?
I stand, apron and all, at the bottom-
Big smile ready, with my fluffy little basket..
Waiting patiently in my spotless laundry room, for just this one load.
That will keep me caught up, forever...

Newsflash!  This tunnel of love, in his eyes, is (in mine), the pit of disaster.
Not only does it scream to be fun for the boys, it also has a benefit to
the "shady" Hale kids-
Their own personal, "sneaky shoot".

We have neat organized kids and we also have the other kind-
Ones that have mountains, (clean or dirty, who knows) all over the floor,
in their closets, under the beds...
You name it.

Now, these are the kids that of course, you need to tell to clean their rooms.
They don't have to have it nice, don't care if it's tidy.
And when that day (of the freakin year) comes, guess what is guaranteed to
happen?
YES. 
The tunnel is immediately beckoned upon, requested to have yet
another job-storage unit. 
Like the woman at the bottom of it, will never notice such a thing.

Is it just coincidence that the days you clean, it is stuffed so tight, it doesn't move?
Are you kiddin me??

Every single time, my lecture of cleaning up, is put upon them, the shoot literally
vomits, over half of what
I saw in their rooms, all over me.

Having said that, the family was called for a recent living room meeting.
In part due to this issue,
but even worse?
Due to the sight of one of the most disturbing things I have
witnessed in my eighteen years of being a mother.

All waited with wide eyes, wondering what this INSULT to me could be-
There was chatter, and then I entered the room, intent on proving my point.
I took out the "evidence" and lifted above my head, high in the air.
I (dramatically) pointed at it, as I called out in my "stern" voice....
THIS!!  THIS CAME THROUGH MY SHOOT TODAY!!!
In hand?
A size 8, boys t-shirt, folded.

There were no smiles, or laughs, although I did expect them...
Maybe some confusion, but only until further explanation.

"I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TEN OUTFITS A DAY, MANY OF THEM
SMELLY AND NOT ENJOYABLE TO HANDLE.
THAT IS ADDED TO ALL THE TOWELS YOU USE, BLANKETS AND
SHEET YOU SLEEP ON,
AND ANYTHING PEED OR PUKED ON AT ANY TIME,
SO, I DESERVE SOME RESPECT.

EVERY PIECE OF CLOTHING HAS ITS OWN JOURNEY. 
IT BEGINS
WHEN YOU TAKE IT OFF AND HAS A LONG WAY TO
TRAVEL UNTIL
IT GETS ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE WORN.

IT GOES DOWN OUR SHOOT, INTO A BASKET. 
FROM THAT BASKET
IT WAITS PATIENTLY TO GET WASHED. 
AND THEN DRIED. 
AND PUT INTO ANOTHER BASKET. 
IT THEN RIDES UPSTAIRS WHERE IT GETS FOLDED AND TAKEN TO
A ROOM, UNTIL SOMEONE DECIDES (OR DOESN'T DECIDE)
TO PUT IT INTO A DRAWER.

ONLY THEN WILL IT GET TO BE PUT ON YOU, AND WORN
AROUND SCHOOL, SEEING EVERYONE AGAIN.

NOW IMAGINE, AFTER ALL THAT IT HAD TO GO THROUGH,
SOMEONE PICKS HIM UP AND
DROPS HIM TO THE FLOOR.
WELL, THAT IS SAD ENOUGH.
BUT THEN...YES,
THEN, HE GETS SWIPED UP AND THROWN INTO A PILE OF DIRTY THINGS...
AND FROM THERE, RIGHT BACK DOWN
THE SHOOT HE JUST GOT BACK FROM? 
NEVER EVEN GETTING THE CHANCE TO BE WORN!"

Even my older kids just stared at me. 
Did anyone get it?  I prayed they did...
I also hoped I didn't scar the little guys-
Making it like the shirt was alive. 
But I really wanted them to get it-there was a bigger lesson at hand. 
And that was, what the heck?

No one knew who's fault this was-
It was a size 8, but that does not mean, around here, it was the guilty party.
The point was--
Am I to bust my butt, wasting my time, and detergent, washing clean clothes too??
It's hard enough to complete the cycle for articles that truly need it.
This had to be discussed and now.
Before I ever had to feel that way again!!!

I haven't seen another folded thing come to me since.
Maybe some clean(er) things, but I wouldn't dare test,
to find that out for sure...
Just trying to open minds around here to my curse...the endless piles that consume my
every breathing moment.
Almost calling my name through the vents with every step I take around my house...

"Jennyyyy....
I know you can heearrrr meeeeeee, come wash us...."
Ugh, i have the willies just thinking of it down there....

Laundry is the worst.
I have tried sorting, buying cute bins, even the best smelling
detergents, etc to try and motivate---
Um, nothin...
It's like trying to eat a Popsicle in a snowstorm,
just not gonna happen....

I just grin and bear it, knowing it's part of having the large gang that I love...

Are you waiting for a point?
Nope, no great-ending-lesson, or moral.
Just sharing my "Hale Hurdle"...

So, next time you are at your washer, and feeling like a mountain
from you- know-where, think of me.
Not only may you laugh, but if you picture my pile,
you're sure to feel so much better !!!!   :)

Hugs! :)

A Thank You On Mothers Day :*

To My Eight Children,

Today is Mothers Day and I just want to say thanks to you.
Never before I had kids, did I know how I would feel or how I
would be, having a family of my own...
Let alone, that I would EVER have two more than the Brady Bunch!

I knew I had the heart for it, and that I could love someone
with all I am.
But the journey of creating, giving birth, and then raising
them to be a good people...you just don't know, til you do it,
what it really entails.

You don't know, really know, how much love you will feel.
Because you never knew you could love something, more
than the word love...
You don't know the bond you will already have, even before birth, or
the feeling of becoming an instant human shield.  Ready and
willing to keep you safe forever.

No one can prepare you for seeing you walk for the first time, or
say mama...
Getting your first homemade gift from Preschool or taking you to
the bus stop and letting go of your hand to climb the steps
 for the first real time away.

Watching your activities-
From the times that you would wave and wave, over and over again...
So excited to see me, so happy I'm there...
To feeling that little pinch, as it turned into only a smile, and only, when
no one else was looking.
And then I catch glimpses of you getting older-
With not much of a warning
that I'd see you less, or become more of a bother.

Soon, the friends take over this child of mine.
The one that used to want to hug me, and lay with me-
I never knew it would come on so fast....and how much
I would miss you.
Within what felt like no time, I'm now forced to untie the strings
and be okay with no longer needing me for much....

But I am still here, and will be, forever...smiling through teary eyes.
Remembering all the years, the beautiful, most amazing years, that you
were small, and I got to watch you grow.

Lily, you are still our "baby"-
Our "Lils".  Our sweet, chubby Lulu...
I'm so glad we decided on "one more" or we would never know you-
You fit right into the madhouse and everyone loves you so much. 
Your smile is addictive, and never fades-:)
Sooo happy all the time,
the best baby anyone could ask for. 

Reese, you are a bright star in this family. 
You take on the role under four brothers like it's no
body's business. 
You win for the most stylist Hale, hands down.
With the cutest pipsqueak voice ever heard.
And, (drum roll please), you are the first child of mine, to look like me!!!
Do you know how exciting that is Reese??  SOOOO EXCITING!!!

Mason, I don't think anyone has made us laugh more. 
You are witty and charming. 
And have the best one liners ever. 
I know you get tripped and wrestled down most of your days,
but you hold your own very well. 
You have a lot of love in that heart of yours.

Max, you are our Yoda. 
You lived a long time ago and I really believe knew a lot and shared a lot.
You are a leader-very wise and kind. 
Probably more than you will ever know-
I think that is why you were sent to us on 9/11/01. 
You were a gift to the world on a very sad day, to give us hope for
a beautiful future. 

G-man, you are so freakin cute! 
You have gone from the peanut of the family, to "da man"...
So organized, so together-trying so hard at everything you do, EVERYTHING.
I love that I have a boy who
washes his face and brushes his teeth because he wants to. 
And always there as my date to watch action movies---
You're awesome.
 
Reilly, what do I say to the future's best mom ever? 
You have been a little mommy since birth and
my right hand woman. 
I love our talks-
I know whatever I think is adorable or cute, you will be just as excited
and emotional.
Someone who organizes while I'm out, just cause she wants to, needs
a business plan..;0
You are an amazing young woman already!

Gabe, I cannot believe I have a son that is taller (and bigger) then me. 
I never thought that would happen.
It was just too far away for me to imagine. 
You are so handsome and funny....and talented.
As much as I hear that everyone is annoying, I watch you with the kids
when you aren't looking and it makes me smile. 
You have a lot of love and will be an amazing dad one day.

Lexi, you were our first. 
I don't remember this love without you in our lives...we never experienced
it before.
I know you're embarrassed, we talk about your milestones a lot because
it's our first time at it all.
You were leaving for Kindergarten and now have 25 days left of Sr year. 
Almost done with our "first chapter",  please know we are so proud
of what your values have become, and that addictive spirit of yours...
Keep that with you forever. 

I love you all so much and thank God every day for the absolute
honor he gave me, trusting me
to see you through this life with us.
I hope that Daddy and I show you a life full of fun, and love, and make
you never afraid of choosing things that may seem scary or different. 
Being happy, and caring about others, will take you wherever
God's plan for you will be.
Love you!!!!!!!

And finally, to my own mom, who showed me every ounce of the love
that I have adopted...
Happy Mothers Day.

No one could ever ask for a better example of what to strive to be.
You were the definition of love for my sisters and me, and we miss your
face every single day.
I hope I make you proud with my traditions and unending promise to
make all the little moments in life, grand memories.
Even from heaven, you have reminded me of what truly matters and I will
love even better because of that.
Thank you for making me who I am today.
Without you, I wouldn't have any of what matters the most.

Happy Day to every mom out there!  Enjoy the best things in life~

Hugs :)

one day rule

every household is run in a different way.
we all have things that are huge for us, and things we aren't going to be
sticklers about.
if we compared them all, i bet there are things we all agree on-
respect, manners, good grades...
and then things we differ on-those "field were willing to die on" options-
that vary from family to family...
and that's good-that's what makes the world go round----

growing up the one thing that i would put high upon almost any other, that my parents had,
was something my mom called-the one day rule.

my mom was a teacher before she had kids.
and once she had us, she decided to stay home.
although she eventually opened her piano studio, she always taught in in the evenings-
dinner hr and on, a few nights a week, so
she was still home during the days with us...
but it was known, that it in no way meant she was our errand boy.

our home was not strict, there were three girls...and we weren't ornery...
no one farted at the table or told wiener jokes.
we played school and barbies, and (except for one lapse of judgement on
a weekend my sophomore yr)
i really did tell my parents where i would be all the time, and checked in, etc...
so yes, we'd be grounded for drama, or hormonal rants, but there didn't
need to be 1,000 rules
around the house.

having said that, the ONE DAY RULE really sticks out in my mind-
one, because it was talked about often, and two, because i hated it.
the ONE DAY RULE was this:
an annual get out of jail free card, issued by mom, for when you forgot
something and needed it run
to school.
could be anything-a paper you wrote, gym uniform, whatever...
but it was ONCE, and only ONCE.
so you knew, it better be worth it...
and there friends, was the biggest dilemma of all-
when to use it.

looking back, it was a lesson just the elimination process itself.
i'm sure certain years, there were bigger decisions than others-
and depending on how far through the year it was, it became
easier to decide.
if it was earlier in the school year, i'm sure i had to think
harder and
weigh if something bigger could possibly come into play later into the semester...
and then it was up to you, to make the call from the Sr lounge,
and give the go ahead..

no hopes in forgetting on her part either-
you just considered that card of yours stamped-
because after that, it was next sept until
you'd be picking that phone up again...
that's it, fork pit.

wow, as a mom now, i now know how hard that must have been.
when you're young, you think...geez...you're just at home mom...
taking care of two babies, yea, but what's the big deal?

can't you hook me up??
don't you WANT me to do well?? 
hand it in? 
have it?
don't you love me??
and now i sit, knowing she was hooking me up
she wanted me to do well
did want me to have it
and loved me so much, that she would come, ONLY ONCE.

in fact, she was probably hooking me up the days she "wouldn't",
more then the one day, she did
and it took more love to NOT come,
but ugh, its hard.

we want to save the day, really, we do...
but the more we wear the cape, the more they aren't becoming the hero...
every time we run this thing in, or drop that thing off. we are taking
away that tiny part in their brain that may stand up taller, to remember next time.

the quote "this will hurt me more than it hurts you", used to be
a joke to all of us, didn't it?
yeah right, we thought, i'm gettin the spankin..
but now as a mom myself, i see it.
you are looking into the eyes of someone you love more than life,
and having
to put your foot down-
no ice cream, missing a party, or going to bed early-
and now as they are older,
no, i cannot bring that in today.

some of us wont even be able to do it... it tugs too hard at your heart strings.
but as much of parenting consists of, many hard decisions
lead to even better outcomes.
i believe one of the things that could help this current generation,
is more parenting, like
we may have had.

moms and dads who are setting early lessons of "life",
the real world that our kids will one day be standing in.
and that universe of theirs, will not be completing itself
with their own personal phone booth,
to have mom pop out of, to the superman theme song-
as with everything else that includes our kids, no one said
this was gonna be easy---
these moments are the teachable ones...and only you
can make the call.

i say all of this as i sit looking at my freshman son's, homemade, mexican bean, fiesta dip,
that he woke up to heat, at five forty- five this morning-
it is on the counter, next to the oven,
on a silver platter, filled with tostitos and a handwritten recipe card.

and so it continues.....






,

It's Like a Bomb Went Off-

In so many ways, I've come so far-
I really have learned lessons in balancing almost 85 % of things that go on in this circus
act, that is my life.
It's not so much really even directing myself or prioritizing, but
more of an "embracing"
and then immediately after that, letting go of some things...

Like in all the houses around the world, starting at the sunrise
of the day-
we awake to our schedules, whatever they may be, and start jogging
(or sprinting) thru, until our heads hit the pillow,
after a HUGE glass of wine.
No matter what your home may be made up of, and
if you one kid, no kids, or ten kids,
you will be pulling out all the stops to try
and do your thing-

But when the heck do the bombs go off??
Did I miss something around this house?? 
EVERYYYY time???
I never see a bomb, nor do I smell smoke, or hear it being lit??
But there is a freaking bomb somewhere, closets full of them I guess-
They can go off once or twice a day, and I must also have specially
made ones, that can sit and magically then explode two more times after-
Aren't I lucky?

I try, most days any way, to make it look, (even if it's just imaginary),
like I actually did
something around this place.
I'm really not a all -day- lay- around- at- home- mommy, so
it's almost insulting
to see what my
hard work completed, looks like.
If it's mopping or the infamous wiping down of any or everything.
Loads of clothes, and then
spending 2.5 hrs putting them away...
Loading the dishwasher, only to start, and empty, and reload, two more
times before dinner....
And dusting?  Seriously?
Dusting is the biggest waste of time ever because it just sits right back
down on whatever you dust.
But we do it, because it is in the handbook-if you don't, your kids
will be taken away.

Whatever energy I give this house of mine, it is sure to go
unnoticed and most times,  made to look in seconds, like I have never tried
once in my life to complete anything here.

Every mother knows her role as housekeeper....
Whether you work or stay home, under the definition and picture of you,
is seven words: trying to nail jello to the wall.

You find it hard to even begin to make a plan in cleaning because
(if you have young children)
even where to put them while you do it, is a crap shoot.
NO matter where their entertaining spot will be, they will need to leave
that place, in order to
clean THAT room, which only leads to them to destroying the
room you just finished cleaning...
Just play the Barnum and Bayley theme song and be done with it.
On and on it goes until you, every single time, settle for the
partially clean rooms
throughout...good enough.

Double edged sword, asking for help...
But when you are making a group effort there is a must.
You must always assign an "assistant"-
The assistant has multiple roles which are very, very, important to
a woman like you.

First, the assistant needs to have speed-
It cannot be one that tends to be a straggler or the
caboose of your clan..
This child will be sent off with things you are picking up here and there,
and must be able to put stuff away, at lightening speed, returning for more.
Second, a good deligator-
If new jobs arise, the assistant will be telling
someone, to tell someone else, what someone else,
should be doing.
And third, but maybe most importantly, take on, like they're life depends
on it, the role of "spy". 
There is always one family member
that veers off course more than the others. 
You can count on them to be easily distracted and end up playing
with the Legos that he's pulling out of the vacuum hose-
The assistant will be your "rat", enabling you to stay on top of the
delays that are sure to happen.

This is all on the days you even WANT help..
Another reason were exhausted when we have war- zone- houses,
are the arms of dilemma.
Some days it is simply more tiring to have
to give orders rather then just get things done all ourselves.
Like company in for dinner, that is trying to help you-
putting things in the wrong places or
needing to be told where everything is...
Not really called HELP, although they mean well.
You must decide.

Around here, you (almost always) choose help.
One of the great 
things about a large family
is the competition in things.
Yes, we love when different sports are chosen, or some go a
different route
with an interest, things are all their own in certain areas.
But when a few are involved in the same thing, they really
do watch each others strengths and weaknesses.
And not because they are so wise and knowledgeable, well,
maybe a little...:)
It is the race of life, sibling rivalry, and wanting to be the best...
Pleaseeee...have you met their father? 
Voted most popular in high school, most athletic, and something else..
Me?  I was runner up for best party....wonder if that helps at all..

Having said that, it's very strange...
On one hand we have that, and on the other-I have never
seen such independent people-at all different ages,
different interests,
really believing things should always be even and fair.

I know it is a kid thing-
He has a ball, I should have a ball. 
She got a cell phone at 13, so I should, etc.
But in this house, it is relentless.
And when we are cleaning and organizing-it is front and center
to conversation.

Everyone gets their lists and it begins.
Wait, why does she have 4 things and I have five?
If I have to clean our room, why doesn't he have to help?
They made the mess, why am I the only one....
I always have to do everything.
He never has to do anything.
I do everyyything.

Um excuse me, no you don't...
Mommy does everything.
And the answer to your questions, why do we always have to clean?
Yeah, that would be, because you are always making a  mess...

So they start...and if all are involved, yes, it can be more of a
commotion,
but it does take 1/2 the time.
We turn on the music, and with everyone running in their directions,
me and my assistant run in ours.
Our fastest time (without scrubbing but just wiping down) is just over
two hours.
That will give an impressive shine, pine sol smell, and crisp clean beds.
Not bad.

It's annoying, It's work. But it's part of life, part of a household-
And you can get into battles with each other, if you
don't learn to work as a team.
Why we feel guilty sometimes, for involving everyone, is beyond me.
It was a squad's mess, the squad cleans it up.

If a bomb, no, when your next bomb goes off, remember...
Moms everywhere, are dressed in their camouflage just like you.
We are all dragging our bodies through the rubble, just in a different
colored living room.
We are barking orders to our own armys, and like we did last weekend,
asking our co-captains to set the timer
for cocktail hour.

As long as you are living, you will have your battlefields to clean.
But there will come a day, that
you won't need so much ammo to do it with.
All too soon, you will have more free time to get it completed,
and it won't be
spread across so much of your territory.
But as nice as that sounds, it will only be for one reason-
Your troops have completed their mission with you, and are gone...

When you really think about it, you aren't measured, (by awesome people anyway),
on how clean and organized you are.
Is anyone that's truly important to you, really leaving, having judged
your kitchen while you guys had coffee ?
I'm tellin ya, you're getting more smiles from neighbors that see you
having a picnic in your front yard
or jumping under the sprinkler, rather than scrubbing your deck.

Truth is, you can believe (and announce) that this will be the last time
you will let it get this bad.
You can tell yourself over and over, that chores are gonna change,
or your husband
is going to pitch in more...
You can even set up the whole house with the fanciest bins and gadgets
to make thing run more smooth-
But in the end, it doesn't matter.
Unlike the rule of life, there is a guarantee.

After all is said and done, there is one thing I can promise you -
Once your house is clean?  No one will stop by.

Have a home be your home, whatever that looks like-
And "they will come."

Hugs :)

Young Love-

So--- It's not enough that I have already been there.
Not enough, that my heart has already broken, and I couldn't eat for days.
That I waited for the phone to ring for hours upon hours, and that my pillow
held more tears that month than the world's largest mop.
Now I had to go and have teenagers that would walk the swamps of sadness-
And I have to re-live those feelings, again-
But this time, through their hearts.

Ugh, what I would give to have all this just be "spidey-proofed"...
Just never be allowed to be seen, felt, or even heard of-
For their sakes, and frankly, for ours too. 
But yes, as the all- encompassing "rights of passage",
We must go through it, in our own time.
And this, my friends, to me, is one of the toughest.

It's no secret that I can be a little too attached...duh...I have a hint of
OCD yes...and not where
it comes in handy. 
It is "OCD OF THE INSIDE"...which has no impact on making life glamorous
IN ANYTHING I do-
You see, most OCD has it's ups-and can create chatter amongst others...
But not mine-
It doesn't impress people with organization, or endless delicious recipes for apps
on a summer day.
Never have I been asked, how I put such a touch on style-as I put together
my outfit for the third time this week....

My "infliction" is inside, and I must say, I'm not the only one-
It's the (sometimes too heartfelt) obsession- with my kids and wanting things to
always be well.
But for all in close range, here's another Jen- Hale -Newsflash!
It won't always be...and if you're honest, it is better in the long run that way.

I mean, of course, if we could "guard rail" them forever, that would help. 
But we all know, like
life's book says on a daily basis, "the stepping stones of life, are built by difficulties
and heartaches.."

BUT WHY IS THATTTTTT?? 
Why cant we just learn from happiness and harmony?
Guess that's a story for another day.

Soooo...here I sit, watching one of these moments hit our house,
and hating every second of it.
I would fear for my life, announcing which teen of mine this is about...
But it doesn't matter, and seriously, it is sad.
And hard.  And really sucks.
And although the "Hale child" was the one to do the breaking up, it wasn't easy-
they really do still love their "friend"...

Most of us have been there. 
And whether you are the one that ended things, or the
one that had it ended ON,
neither position feels good, and neither is an easy road to walk, let alone, get over.
But what I DIDN'T have to feel at seventeen, when it was happening to me, is
the mother's part of it all.

This position as a mom, really has some hard hats to have to wear.

In the beginning you think-the "baby"
Okay, I'm gonna lose some sleep, and my boobs are gonna hurt...and maybe
leak in public.
I'm gonna have to potty train, and have to know when to take them to the ER
with a high fever.
But man, it goes from worry and panic, to this new phase-
Where you are literally remembering
this stuff like yesterday....and it's (unless they let you in) not even involving
you anymore.

As women, ugh, it's probably even harder-
The one thing we have going through a stressful situation, the only thing that
may help us at all, is control.
But as they age, even if you are still technically "the boss", some things, well, you're out....
It's this new day- and hellooo, I don't know when it freaking happens...

It is now them, and their issue-
And as much as you may want to still continue your role
as ringleader, (all you know to be), you are only called upon when needed.
AND NOOOO,
Not when you think you're needed, when they think you are.....
Which makes parents, especially mommies, go crazy. 

I want to know what's going on, what happened, how everyone is feeling
about things.
So unless I want to be an insane maniac, I have to wait patiently for a knock
at my door-
And then try and win the Oscar for looking like I'm not the most excited person
on the planet-
Not only getting to hear the latest, but have the chance to (casually of course),
find a miracle way to spit out everything I have had to say, but
make it sound like I'm just tossing in my two cents.
You know, play things cool.

Having said all this-
What am I getting at? 
What (besides having no say) make it so darn hard? 
One thing.
And that is, (the absolute beautiful sight of ), someone loving your baby.

The first time you hear someone is crushing on your kid, whether it be
preschool, or 5th grade...it is precious. 
Well, for most of us.
A mommy's head tilts and says...awww, reallly???
And you immediately ask for a class picture or for someone to point them out to you...
"I have to see who loves you!"  lol

Then, the years go on, and if it gets more "serious"
they come by or stop
over on a weekend with a friend or in the infamous "group".
You catch yourself listening to how they speak to each other or
any flirting that you can
bust on them for later.

And as they age even more, if you allow it,
they start spending even more time together...
That is where we were these last seven months...

Vacations, weekends, even a few weekdays, together a lot----
And that dang mommy part again?  You become attached.
You watch them enjoy their talks and laughs...
You start to get to know them and their families-
You see your son or daughter, have this sweet light in their eyes when they're around---

And then, lightening strikes one day, and it is over.
And YOU WEREN'T READY.
You didn't call the shot, you were right smack in the middle of what you thought was simply
awesome.  And what?  Nooooo!!...

Yes. Just like in 1991, hearts are broken and you feel helpless.
Ugh, I hate it.
I hate it for the child of mine that was so torn and still loves them.
And I hate it for the one that still has those same feelings, and is hurting.

As parents, again, we have no control-and I get it...
Some of you may end up being really good
as removing themselves-that's awesome.  And healthy!
But I'm not one of them. 

I remember my mom telling Roman years ago that I am a "go hard" girl-
When I'm mad, I'm furious, when I'm laughing, I'm hysterical and when
I love, it is wholeheartedly.
So freaking true.

I give my all, maybe not to having the best looking bathroom in the
neighborhood, but in all honestly, but to
any friend, child, or thing that really matters.
I know I joke, but my OCD to "love and addiction to my babies" does have good things
attached to it.
Two very good things-
(1) That I will always know I did all I could with the years I got
(2) To not have much regret at the end of my days...
Those things will sit in the back of my mind, and will
probably help me through a lot on this
roller coaster ride of ours. 
Even this.

Funny enough, because of the way I feel about things-and just like I say here
on my blog,
I have really good talks with my kids and their friends about these kind of things...
A lot of parents lecture on sex, respect, good grades-
But I talk a lot, besides that, about life and our experiences-and funny things that
have happened through the years...
With a huge emphasis, on everything happening for a reason-
I really think that's a great thing to talk about if you are a believer...
And very recently, had a talk with the boyfriend/girlfriend that we are discussing here,
I remember it being a really good discussion-and how we really connected with it.

I am hoping they remember that talk now, while things are hard.
And remembering that if things are truly meant to be, they will be...no matter what.

At times like this, I am glad that my talks have happened early-
Before these things even start happening---
I am constantly amazed with the quantity of things they have come to me
about, and the personal things, they feel they can share with me.
I don't know what specifically I have done to earn that trust but maybe it's simply just
that open door feeling I try to give to all of them.

It's hard to juggle eight different ages, with eight different needs and to
be honest, sometimes
I do worry-
I am only one person, we all are.

How can we concoct a recipe with a balance of love and come to me with issues,
but include a strictness and were still your parents thrown in with it?
Am I saying enough, teaching enough, talking enough?
But maybe the answers to our questions can be found in the simple
connection we have
when we are alone with them. 
We must be doing it right if they are confiding in us!

If your kids are still young, think about what kind of mommy (or daddy) you
want to be.
And how much you want to share or be shared with-
Some don't want details-don't feel comfortable talking too
personal about things...
But then the other side of that, is praying they hear the truth from
someone else, which doesn't always happen-
I can talk about anything so that wasn't hard for me, but I still search
for a balance to it all..
How can I not be in denial about what is coming up for
Sr Week but not condone it??
We will always be learning and growing-that's our job :)

Whether it's relationships, behavior, school---we are bound to be filled
with the rainbow of parenting colors-
And although we will hopefully have more brights, some gloomy will be mixed in there too...
Seriously, who said it was easy?? NO ONEEEE!!!!
We can't help feeling it, our hearts are still connected, and will be, for freaking ever.

So, for all of the sweet people that now, or in the future, hang out with us,
and love our kids, I want to say-
you will always have a special place in our hearts.

For all of these memories are ours to share too, 
Just now (as the parent), in a different way :)

Hugs!

And it ends....

I know the house is quiet.
And yes, we will be able to control the "disaster zones" of blankets, opened gallons of Turkey Hill
Iced Tea and endless bags of Tostitos-
But man, I miss those buggers.

Spring break was so awesome this year-and not because we stocked it with fun filled
things to do...
We did hit the movie theatre for DIARY OF A WIMPY KID and then an evening showing
with the big ones to SCREAM 4...both very good in my opinion :)
But the rest was just chilling-
Trips to Five Below (my kids favorite place on earth), sleeping in til 9 something, and
a few b-ball practices.
Then on Thursday we took them all to Brigantine for the weekend. 
We played every sport imaginable
in the front yard, went to the park, had fifty two games of
UNO and fourteen of Rummy, and just enjoyed
doing whatever we felt like, um, whenever.

Summer will soon be here and I know my grocery bill will be higher and
I have to balance my
part time job, when that time comes, as referee.
But I really do (when I'm not in the black and white striped outfit with my whistle)
enjoy all my
monsters, being around.
Nice weather is coming soon to stay!!!
Okay so----
Get something done people-your house is a mess.

Hugs!